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Re: My Story, Being Honest For Once 30 Mar 2023 14:27 #394139

Thanks for the chizuk guys. Feeling depressed and struggling not to hit the bottle. 

i for ask  for this though when I told my wife I felt like I don’t have complete faith in Hashem because I had some cash reserves. Well that’s pretty much almost all gone 

I want to face the reality and just let go and let Gd run the show but I’m having a hard time with that

let go of my ego in a big way this past week, working 4x as hard to make 10% of what I made in previous weeks. Doing work for $100 with the effort that would normally bring in over $1000….


trying to see the good I feel like I’ve become so negative. I used to always be smiling and happy but I’ve neglected that and now feel constantly grumpy and mean. 
Challenge accepted!

If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 

My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: Just getting started 30 Mar 2023 14:18 #394138

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Just a couple of thoughts as I approach 30 days. It is amazing to me how it seems like it's been so easy. Once I've started posting and connecting with others, and I feel like I've turned a corner, it just doesn't appeal to me to go back to that old way. I'm not trying to be לועג לרש I'm just telling you how it's been. But it makes me a bit nervous. Is this real, or just the calm before the storm? 
Another thing I noticed is that I've gained a certain contentment with just being clean from P/M, to the extent that when I have had a Nisayon of Histaklus, I haven't been putting up enough of a fight, because my Y'H is telling me: you're clean from the main problems, don't get caught up on the minor things.
I thought it would be the opposite. Until now, Histaklus wasn't even on my radar screen because I was doing even worse, so it would be silly to try to fight against that when I couldn't even get the more serious things under control (this isn't true, of course, I'm just saying that's what I had always told myself). But now, I expected that having been clean from P/M, I would be able to go to the next level of Shmiras Einayim, but it's been challenging to make a fight out of that and not just be satisfied with my current level. 
My thread: Forum (guardyoureyes.com)
We are not all in the same boat, but we are all in the same lake. And when one boat is in trouble, the other boats in the lake can quickly come to his aid. Feel free to reach out to me to give some chizuk or to receive some. monseyyid41@gmail.com

Re: First time on GYE long time ... 30 Mar 2023 11:21 #394137

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eraygrand wrote on 28 Mar 2023 01:20:
Day 29! Today was a very stressful day that a month ago would almost have certainly driven me to P&M as an escape and distraction. There were definitely some urges but nothing that I wasn't able to overcome with a little bit of effort.

Special shout out to Emes-a-yid for keeping the pressure on not to fall more than 5 days behind him! 

Hey just saw this, sweet shoutout! To many more of course and onwards!! B’Hatzlachah!!
To my dear friend reading this:
You are an incredible yid for just being on this site, I am breath taken after each post or new person that comes on and shares a bit about himself, keep it up. You guys are mamash matzlichim in your own ways of growth and Hashem is proud of each one of you! (that includes me too) lol.

KEEP UP YOUR TREMENDOUS UPLIFTING IN THE AVODAH OF EMES!!

Thanks for reading! Stay shtark, I am also being challenged, just build your confidence, never quit no matter what, you are your strongest enemy and yet you are your strongest savior so you choose, I am not saying it's easy but am saying it's possible just takes effort and work!!
-from Emes-A-Yid

Re: Chapter 2 - שבע יפול צדיק וקם 30 Mar 2023 08:42 #394136

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שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 30 Mar 2023 05:47:
Up late. Had an urge. Said no. Going to sleep for the night.

Horray to u!!!!!!!!!!! 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 30 Mar 2023 08:33 #394135

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Well done my friend,

Just one point: You mentioned above that numerous time you were seconds away from masturbation. I used to do that the whole time. Sometimes i succeeded and many times I fell. Withdrawing at that point is insanely difficult. For me it became a game changer to have an accountability partner for every time I touched my eiver, that way I could no longer allow myself to get to the stage you are describing.... 

Re: Giving it another shot 30 Mar 2023 08:27 #394134

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anothershot wrote on 30 Mar 2023 04:14:
9! I feel so free! Thank you H-Shem!

Ur Amazing!! Remember to be constantly vigilant too!!
​Looking forward to watching the continuation of ur journey.. 

Re: Self Doubts 30 Mar 2023 07:46 #394133

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DavidT wrote on 29 Mar 2023 16:53:
Most people have significant power to determine and work on their development. We can change who we are and what we do by what we see, hear, say, and do. It is important to choose the activities for our brains to be well trained…We make choices that change our brains and ultimately change who we are.”

While p* has a tremendous impact on the brain, the brain has an incredible capacity to change and adapt. Even if our neural pathways are “deep canyons,” it’s never too late to start the process of rewiring.


The concept of rewiring gives a lot of chizuk, to know that the challenge may get easier over time.
When 2 yidden get together, it is two nefesh elokis (godly souls) against one nefesh hebehamis (animal soul)
Feel free to private message me.
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Re: Porn but not... stam 30 Mar 2023 05:55 #394132

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iwillmanage wrote on 26 Mar 2023 11:51:

Misgaber96 wrote on 25 Mar 2023 12:33:
Shalom,
I can relate to this, I have tried many types of porn and I have had obsessions with many pornstars. I had to go to SA eventually. As for this I can say that the best way that works for me was Daavening for those people and use their names; and sharing with others. You can PM me and I can just "hear you out" just so you can see for yourself why you want to get involved with these people. But getting G-d involved is key as, for me, this humanises the individual and thus I can see them in a deeper non-sexual way. 
If you click on me I did write a prayer for my third cousin who I am attracted to and it really helped and I shared it 3 times 2 over the phone and once here.
This is by no means a recipe to follow, it is just a reality of a more intense situation I was in and what helped me put out the catalyst of my obsession before it could take hold. Once the flames are burning i.e. I am in "search for lust" mode I find that it is a matter of time and I will act out. Obsession kills me. If I have an obsession, i.e. finding the best dumb phone. I have to share it openly and honestly.

PRAYER EXAMPLE
For one actress in my mind I am not mentioning her name to not be explicit in public. Hashem I don't know her history and I don't know her future, But she is Your creation and she is beautiful. Thank you for creating such a beautiful person. I hope that You lead her through her challenges that she faces today. That she will be able to fulfil her mission in life that You put her here for. Hashem I am powerless over my desire for her for I have looked her up in the past for hours on end wanting to stop but could not. I see that you have kept me sober in the past when I surrender to You. I surrender this to You now. Thank You Hashem for this experience of connection. Hashem please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

My sponsor does a short and sweet prayer... G-d bless her, G-d save me. 

All the best,

Thank you for sharing that. I've seen this idea of davening for them before, but I always thought that it was a tool for when lust doesn't let you see past the body at the 'person'. But how does it apply to such cases where one already feels a connection or 'relationship' and is enamoured by the personality.  Doesn't davening for them just deepen the connection? 

Well this is a great question! Thank you for asking. My problem is obsession with lust. This is an issue that I can't handle on my own. So I choose to turn to Hashem and tell him exactly what I want or what I am thinking bringing it to the light. 
Before this I used to bury these thoughts and fantasies deep somewhere, hoping it would go away, when it would come back full force, often stronger and the need for more intense outlets, I realised this just wasn't cutting it. I chose to do the opposite once I heard about it and saw people in SA that it worked for. People that had been sober for 10+ years and living with big smiles on their faces proud to be who they are, accomplished individuals in whatever area they choose to tackle.
I am new to this and there are different opinions out there. It really depends on the individual. But before trying something it is easy to theorise that it is incorrect. The only way to find out wherther something works it to give it a proper try. One of the sober members of SA feels the same as the both of you and chooses not to pray for the individual but he had to try first! I personally have to share everything with Hashem as it helps me keep on G-d's track and not mine. Mine is selfish and will likely end up in acting out, just give it some time.

Rebbi Akiva Daavened and said, how beautiful are your creatures Hashem when he saw a beautiful lady who he later married. The great sage! 
An Amora who I forgot the name of, screamed that there was a fire in his house before he acted out with women who were kept in the attic. Everyone came running to see that he had moved a staircase (that only 10 men could move) on his own to get to the attic! We see it is better to be open and honest rather than to bury ones emotions. 
The following user(s) said Thank You: iwillmanage

Re: Chapter 2 - שבע יפול צדיק וקם 30 Mar 2023 05:47 #394131

Up late. Had an urge. Said no. Going to sleep for the night.
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Re: YouTube leading to Fails... Any ideas? 30 Mar 2023 05:40 #394130

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A week and 4 days down without any YouTube, which lead to most of my problems, BH, let’s keep strong!!
To my dear friend reading this:
You are an incredible yid for just being on this site, I am breath taken after each post or new person that comes on and shares a bit about himself, keep it up. You guys are mamash matzlichim in your own ways of growth and Hashem is proud of each one of you! (that includes me too) lol.

KEEP UP YOUR TREMENDOUS UPLIFTING IN THE AVODAH OF EMES!!

Thanks for reading! Stay shtark, I am also being challenged, just build your confidence, never quit no matter what, you are your strongest enemy and yet you are your strongest savior so you choose, I am not saying it's easy but am saying it's possible just takes effort and work!!
-from Emes-A-Yid
The following user(s) said Thank You: Markz, excellence

Re: Self Doubts 30 Mar 2023 05:38 #394129

  • Emes-a-Yid
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Eerie wrote on 29 Mar 2023 23:29:

m111 wrote on 28 Mar 2023 10:58:

m111 wrote on 27 Mar 2023 14:26:


Relax
I'll be fine.

Can anyone feel me?

Yes, in the end I was fine.
Thank you to my friend who reached out to me.

What I'd like to highlight here is the beauty of GYE. It gave us all the ability to find friends that be there when we are in a pinch, and they can reach out and help us stand strong, or if we fall they can help us stand back up. Personally, when I went through a tough few days a few weeks ago, a few caring friends reached out, and they made all the difference in the world. Takeaway: You don't have to be Einstein to help a guy, you just have to care about him. Like Markz likes to say, the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, the opposite of addiction is connection. We can all be that connection. Keep trucking, M111!

Amazing 1000001% agree! I couldn’t have said it better myself!!! 
To my dear friend reading this:
You are an incredible yid for just being on this site, I am breath taken after each post or new person that comes on and shares a bit about himself, keep it up. You guys are mamash matzlichim in your own ways of growth and Hashem is proud of each one of you! (that includes me too) lol.

KEEP UP YOUR TREMENDOUS UPLIFTING IN THE AVODAH OF EMES!!

Thanks for reading! Stay shtark, I am also being challenged, just build your confidence, never quit no matter what, you are your strongest enemy and yet you are your strongest savior so you choose, I am not saying it's easy but am saying it's possible just takes effort and work!!
-from Emes-A-Yid

Re: ​When Chizuk is Needed.. failed once more. 30 Mar 2023 05:34 #394128

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Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 30 Mar 2023 01:16:
Emes-a-yid, you are the pride of our family!
You should know after a few days of falling last week, I was mekabel to bln get to shavuos clean. Watching you press on day after day was a big factor in inspiring me to shoot for that.
Thank you

Day 36. That’s about 5 weeks and a day
B”H. Yeshayahu- thanks for those sweet words, it means a lot, and I hope to continue Bzh! Like I say in my signature, it’s Hard but possible, and eventually we can all do it!
Recently, someone posted here- something very inspiring to me, saying- for all those culminating days clean and vs those not... your basically on a 98% Win. It’s tough because we aren’t MAKIR our achievements and yet only or mainly stress on the loses... that’s how we get to the depression state and fall... Always got to remember to uplift yourself, mechazek and Push through, know the reasons of value of what it has to offer by staying clean.. and only then WOAH!! you will see... WE WILL ALL SEE BzH!
Bhatzlacha Yid Yehoshayahu!
To my dear friend reading this:
You are an incredible yid for just being on this site, I am breath taken after each post or new person that comes on and shares a bit about himself, keep it up. You guys are mamash matzlichim in your own ways of growth and Hashem is proud of each one of you! (that includes me too) lol.

KEEP UP YOUR TREMENDOUS UPLIFTING IN THE AVODAH OF EMES!!

Thanks for reading! Stay shtark, I am also being challenged, just build your confidence, never quit no matter what, you are your strongest enemy and yet you are your strongest savior so you choose, I am not saying it's easy but am saying it's possible just takes effort and work!!
-from Emes-A-Yid
Last Edit: 30 Mar 2023 05:36 by Emes-a-Yid.
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Re: Giving it another shot 30 Mar 2023 04:14 #394127

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9! I feel so free! Thank you H-Shem!
My threads:
Giving it another shot

One step at a time

Daily (I hope) Excerpt from Sefer Zos Brisi

I am going to beat this monster one step at a time... One day at a time!
The following user(s) said Thank You: Captain, excellence

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 30 Mar 2023 03:32 #394126

  • Markz
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 30 Mar 2023 01:52:
Despite complete hell I’m still 19 days clean.

Trying to heal.

In airport will try keeping eyes clean especially from the frum Jews.

Gd hand picks super heroes to serve him from hell. It’s a unique challenge and a difficult one. I feel for you bro.

I believe someone that manages to make it through hell come out as bigger & stronger.
It’s a complicated situation.
Not going through it makes you just a regular guy. Yes going through has the challenge of mustering the unnatural strength to break through the pain and rise above it. 

My heart is with you. You can do it!!
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Last Edit: 30 Mar 2023 03:59 by Markz.
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Re: I Get Back Up Again 30 Mar 2023 03:06 #394125

  • FighterWithFire
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88 DAYS! (Otherwise known as Andrei Vasilevskiy Day. If you get it, you get it. If you don't, we'll call it Martin Necas Day. What, you don't get that either? Forget it.)

Just amazing, amazing, amazing. Thank you Hashem for everything!

Hope everybody else is doing well. Hatzlacha to all.

FWF
"It ain't about how hard you hit.

It's about how hard you can GET hit,

and keep moving forward,

how much you can TAKE,

and keep moving forward.

That's how winning is done!"
The following user(s) said Thank You: Captain
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