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My CLIMB on the wall
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TOPIC: My CLIMB on the wall 59219 Views

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 02 May 2017 18:21 #312129

  • 2nd-chance
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wow more than a year since i last shared.

Working a few months with my mucker sponsor i got the 1st time to step 9.
The 2 amends i made where an experience. i never thought i would/could talk to a person with such open humility. the program really works.

I'm still struggling to surrender the right to lust.
"seriously? cant i enjoy myself when i neeeeeeed to"?
interesting question! lets remember how i feel after the (so called) enjoyment?
don't i hate my self? don't i feel low, empty, guilty? not sure. i will need to try it out (test number 23 thousand), to decide what i really want from myself.
going to therapy for the last few years has taught me the ability to feel (i'm not very sophisticated yet but i am already atleast a 10 year old emotionally - wow what an achievement)
One thing before i AO, being that i am b"H 4 days sober i don't want to throw away my achievement, i commit not to act out before calling another member
The multitude of wounds on a soldier demonstrate his audacity.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 02 May 2017 18:35 #312133

  • Shivisi_Hashem
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Welcome back, hashem loves you the way you are, we will walk along with you, just stay here, that's called פתחו לי פתח וכו
keep it up.... Stay strong
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 02 May 2017 19:47 #312140

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lately 2 members joined sa in my town. that make us 3 maybe keeping together will keep us sober
The multitude of wounds on a soldier demonstrate his audacity.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 02 May 2017 20:03 #312142

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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Nice to see you back!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 02 May 2017 20:26 #312144

  • cordnoy
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2nd-chance wrote on 02 May 2017 18:21:
wow more than a year since i last shared.

Working a few months with my mucker sponsor i got the 1st time to step 9.
The 2 amends i made where an experience. i never thought i would/could talk to a person with such open humility. the program really works.

I'm still struggling to surrender the right to lust.
"seriously? cant i enjoy myself when i neeeeeeed to"?
interesting question! lets remember how i feel after the (so called) enjoyment?
don't i hate my self? don't i feel low, empty, guilty? not sure. i will need to try it out (test number 23 thousand), to decide what i really want from myself.
going to therapy for the last few years has taught me the ability to feel (i'm not very sophisticated yet but i am already atleast a 10 year old emotionally - wow what an achievement)
One thing before i AO, being that i am b"H 4 days sober i don't want to throw away my achievement, i commit not to act out before calling another member

Welcome back.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 02 May 2017 20:34 #312145

  • cordnoy
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bardichev wrote on 07 Jan 2011 12:18:
Cute?

I'm 4000 posts cute

Read bardchevs battle

You'll see how cute I am

Please keep on trucking is a battle plan

KOT!!

B


Ummm....
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 02 May 2017 20:48 #312149

  • cordnoy
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cordnoy wrote on 03 Sep 2014 17:21:
That is precisely the point.
If you wanna hide from it - that is fine.
But those of us who are addicted (I am; don't know about you) need to accept the fact that this struggle/fight/challenge/issue will always be with us. Always! We need to obtain the tools, the ammunition, the weaponry, the understandin' of the battle in order for us to remain in sobriety/recovery for this moment.

In my thread, I was very concerned about this for a while. How could it be? 765 days, and then whammo! And even more so I realized that when that whamo hits, you might not even remember the 765 and one can fall lower than before. This was explained to me. I now know not to think of this at all, for it is none of my damn business. My business is the present, not the past and not the future.

And one last thought. There are many people here who speak about the yetzer hara and his ways of enticin' us to do stuff, and I will not get into my opinions on that right now, but one thing I could tell you (again, just imho), when one starts thinkin' about the past and the future and how can one fall after so many days, and what am i gonna do about it, and is it all worth it, and can I handle it.....all that is certainly the atsas hayetzer and one should run da hell away from those stuff.

b'hatzlachah

II was lookin' for a quote from the past regardin' your last fall. Found this, and I must say I agree with him. (Bit ironic that I just passed 765 myself.) There were other good points as well. Fellows, pay attention to markz and mayan and realize that there's a lot of good tochen in the oldies. Those who know me know that I'm into that type of stuff, but that's for a different conversation.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 02 May 2017 20:50 #312150

  • yiraishamaim
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2nd-chance wrote on 02 May 2017 18:21:
wow more than a year since i last shared.

One thing before i AO, being that i am b"H 4 days sober i don't want to throw away my achievement, i commit not to act out before calling another member

Great. Welcome and good luck to you.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 03 May 2017 04:07 #312177

  • Chaimel
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2nd-chance wrote on 02 May 2017 18:21:

going to therapy for the last few years has taught me the ability to feel (i'm not very sophisticated yet but i am already atleast a 10 year old emotionally - wow what an achievement)

I can relate to this, it's a page out of my book
hatzlacha moving forward iyh with much success!!

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 03 May 2017 04:29 #312178

  • Shivisi_Hashem
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cordnoy wrote on 03 Sep 2014 17:21:
That is precisely the point.
If you wanna hide from it - that is fine.
But those of us who are addicted (I am; don't know about you) need to accept the fact that this struggle/fight/challenge/issue will always be with us. Always! We need to obtain the tools, the ammunition, the weaponry, the understandin' of the battle in order for us to remain in sobriety/recovery for this moment.

In my thread, I was very concerned about this for a while. How could it be? 765 days, and then whammo! And even more so I realized that when that whamo hits, you might not even remember the 765 and one can fall lower than before. This was explained to me. I now know not to think of this at all, for it is none of my damn business. My business is the present, not the past and not the future.

And one last thought. There are many people here who speak about the yetzer hara and his ways of enticin' us to do stuff, and I will not get into my opinions on that right now, but one thing I could tell you (again, just imho), when one starts thinkin' about the past and the future and how can one fall after so many days, and what am i gonna do about it, and is it all worth it, and can I handle it.....all that is certainly the atsas hayetzer and one should run da hell away from those stuff.

b'hatzlachah

I love his post, so true, focus on today, heck what happaned until now, and who cares about tomorrow
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 03 May 2017 08:01 #312186

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Welcome back for round two!! (..wenty thousand)
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
My Thread

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 22 May 2017 21:17 #313879

  • 2nd-chance
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i got a new sponsor yesterday i hope he will guide me through the steps
i will call him this week daily
and rad the doctors opinion again every day this week
The multitude of wounds on a soldier demonstrate his audacity.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 23 May 2017 13:16 #313924

  • TzedekChaim
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Hatzlacha!! Very courageous to have been working on this for so long and not giving up 

Last Edit: 23 May 2017 13:16 by TzedekChaim.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 23 May 2017 18:55 #313949

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Sponsor added that i start the day with 5 gratitudes.

daily work:
start the day with 5 gratitudes.
Read doctors opinion
Call sponsor
call 3-4 fellows each day

Weekly work:
Meeting (3 x per week)
The multitude of wounds on a soldier demonstrate his audacity.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 23 May 2017 18:57 #313950

  • cordnoy
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2nd-chance wrote on 23 May 2017 18:55:
Sponsor added that i start the day with 5 gratitudes.

daily work:
start the day with 5 gratitudes.
Read doctors opinion
Call sponsor
call 3-4 fellows each day

Weekly work:
Meeting (3 x per week)

Great to hear.

KeepKeep us posted please.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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