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My CLIMB on the wall
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: My CLIMB on the wall 59224 Views

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 01 Dec 2013 18:42 #224287

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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WOW!!!!!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 01 Dec 2013 19:48 #224290

  • cordnoy
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I don't know you or your issues, but kol hakavod to you.

you are definitely an inspiration!

shteiger, gevurah, tz, gibbor, mr emunah, pidiani....635!!!!???

that's gotta stand for something, but quickly, for at the end of the day it will be 636!

b'hatzlachah onward (especially to us newbies)
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 02 Dec 2013 04:10 #224304

Amazing please tell us how you do it, I fizzle out at around 100 days!
We are not fighting the YH as a process to get through in order to be able to get back to normal life; the fight wih the YH is the essence of our existence - Hopeing

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 02 Dec 2013 18:05 #224318

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Israel613120, I do not fight the YH anymore, I can't, I am sick and addicted to lust. I react to lust different than a healthy person. I like to believe that I have no chiuv to fight this YH, as I do not have the tools for it.

I gave up trying to change myself, and my actions.
I realized I could not.

all i do is, I try to work the 12 steps, I go to F2F meetings and share honestly my deepest secrets, I share them on the phone with fellows etc.

The rest happens, and NOT by me.
The multitude of wounds on a soldier demonstrate his audacity.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 02 Dec 2013 18:46 #224320

  • cordnoy
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Double Wow!!!!!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 04 Dec 2013 21:04 #224445

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Thanks for sharing!

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 31 Dec 2013 23:00 #225879

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israel613120 wrote:
Amazing please tell us how you do it, I fizzle out at around 100 days!



I do not fight the YH anymore, I can't, I am sick and addicted to lust. I react to lust different than a healthy person. I like to believe that I have no chiuv to fight this YH, as I do not have the tools for it.

I gave up trying to change myself, and my actions.
I realized I could not.

all i do is, I try to work the 12 steps, I go to F2F meetings and share honestly my deepest secrets, I share them on the phone with fellows etc.

The rest happens, and NOT by me.


Ditto here.

G-d is very, very good.
Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em:
"The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough"
"Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!"
"The heck with me, what can I do for you?"
"I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 01 Jan 2014 23:09 #225961

Hi 2nd Chance,
i just read some of your posts and i am so inspired by your unbelievable sobriety. I will use you as my chizzuk.
Thank you for your inspiration.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 31 Mar 2014 12:23 #229543

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755
למען תדע כי אני השם
The multitude of wounds on a soldier demonstrate his audacity.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 15 Jul 2014 11:11 #235188

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Fell after 765 days

I am happy that i got my recovery to a higher level
The multitude of wounds on a soldier demonstrate his audacity.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 15 Jul 2014 13:12 #235189

  • cordnoy
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Like others (includin' myself) wrote above: You are an inspiration to us.

Would you be able to write some of the lessons you have learned over the past several years?
What didn't work in the past?
What was productive?
What transpired in the past several days?

Thank you and may God bless you with continued hatzlachah!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 15 Jul 2014 13:23 #235190

  • cordnoy
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ZemirosShabbos wrote:
Amen!

beautiful posts here
thanks 2ndchance for bringing out all these pearls with your question

i also struggled with this very question. am i sealed for life as an addict? will it always be a battle? am i different than Moshe, Yankel and Chaim?

The answer can be hard to accept and a tough pill to swallow. But it is the truth. Hashem put you in this spot with His infinite wisdom. Our job is to make the best of it. That is every person's job, to make the best of the situation he is in. The rich man, the poor man, the healthy person, the married person, the bochur, whatever life brings you. Of course it is easier said than done.

With time you will accept it. And with time and effort you will be happy that you are in this spot. You will find that it turned your life from being an 'aimless drive' on a lazy day with occasional flat tires and getting lost and braking down to being a purposeful, fulfilling and gratifying 'journey' to your ultimate destination.

While when pursuing lust the focus is on me me me, what can i get? i need more, i need something different and more exciting.. etc.
That focus and pursuit leaves us as an empty shell. We cannot see outside of our cubicle of desire.

When we realize that our fixation on ourselves is destroying us and there are family, friends, and most of all Hashem, who are part and parcel of our lives we feel the life flowing back into our veins.

The battle will become easier but will never go away. And we are all the better for it. It is Hashem's way of telling us to stop chasing our tails and start living.


A jog down memory lane, for those who remember the days when Zemmy was rackin' up his posts (I wasn't there then); but this is a great lesson for us all. There are plenty of other goodies in this thread.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 15 Jul 2014 17:41 #235204

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Thank you for the honesty, owning up to it.

How'd you do that long segment? What happened in the last three months that you decided to update us now?
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 03 Sep 2014 16:59 #238596

I know that ppl speak their mind on this forum. So I would like to say, that this thread gets me nervous. I was hoping that you eventually grow out of this whole problem. I mean to go to the 12 step program and to be clean for 2+ yrs, and then to fall? Not trying to discourage anyone, but this is discouraging.

Re: My CLIMB on the wall 03 Sep 2014 17:21 #238604

  • cordnoy
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That is precisely the point.
If you wanna hide from it - that is fine.
But those of us who are addicted (I am; don't know about you) need to accept the fact that this struggle/fight/challenge/issue will always be with us. Always! We need to obtain the tools, the ammunition, the weaponry, the understandin' of the battle in order for us to remain in sobriety/recovery for this moment.

In my thread, I was very concerned about this for a while. How could it be? 765 days, and then whammo! And even more so I realized that when that whamo hits, you might not even remember the 765 and one can fall lower than before. This was explained to me. I now know not to think of this at all, for it is none of my damn business. My business is the present, not the past and not the future.

And one last thought. There are many people here who speak about the yetzer hara and his ways of enticin' us to do stuff, and I will not get into my opinions on that right now, but one thing I could tell you (again, just imho), when one starts thinkin' about the past and the future and how can one fall after so many days, and what am i gonna do about it, and is it all worth it, and can I handle it.....all that is certainly the atsas hayetzer and one should run da hell away from those stuff.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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