Welcome, Guest

starting my battle
(0 viewing) 
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: starting my battle 23930 Views

Re: starting my battle 30 Aug 2009 18:22 #14775

  • Kedusha
  • Current streak: 442 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3167
  • Karma: 44
Mazal Tov, Hoping!

Start dancing, Chevra!  :D ;D

www.guardyoureyes.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/The-Barditchever-Nigun.mp3

Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by Drizzle25.

Re: starting my battle 02 Sep 2009 13:42 #15352

  • Hoping
  • Current streak: 361 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 202
  • Karma: 0
A few weeks ago I was by a levaya for a chashuva Tzadik who I was close to. While being Melave the Aron, I cried my eyes out. I myself could not believe how much I was crying.
This week I was by a קבורה  of a relative and the burial was particularly difficult because the ground was wet and muddy. I sweated through all of my clothing.

Last night I saw the following in the Sefer זיבולא בתרייתא (a sefer on Minhagim of Chevra Kadisha) the following: תיקון לעון קרי להוריד דמעות על אדם כשר Then he says: זיעה של אדם המטריח בקבורת מתים תיקון לעוון הנל

(loosly translated: crying over the death of a good person and the sweat of working to bury the dead are a Tikkun for the sin of ma*****)

I felt like this was a message from Hashem and I had to share it.
Last Edit: by nerutza.

Re: starting my battle 02 Sep 2009 15:35 #15369

  • bardichev
OK HOPING

NOW DRINK A LICHAIM(LIKE CHASSIDIM DO AFTER A LEVAYA R"L)

AND LIV LIVE LIVE

VCHAY BAHEM!!!!
b
Last Edit: by Bas Yisroel.

Re: starting my battle 03 Sep 2009 16:25 #15638

  • Kedusha
  • Current streak: 442 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3167
  • Karma: 44
hoping wrote on 02 Sep 2009 13:42:

A few weeks ago I was by a levaya for a chashuva Tzadik who I was close to. While being Melave the Aron, I cried my eyes out. I myself could not believe how much I was crying.
This week I was by a קבורה  of a relative and the burial was particularly difficult because the ground was wet and muddy. I sweated through all of my clothing.

Last night I saw the following in the Sefer זיבולא בתרייתא (a sefer on Minhagim of Chevra Kadisha) the following: תיקון לעון קרי להוריד דמעות על אדם כשר Then he says: זיעה של אדם המטריח בקבורת מתים תיקון לעוון הנל

(loosly translated: crying over the death of a good person and the sweat of working to bury the dead are a Tikkun for the sin of ma*****)

I felt like this was a message from Hashem and I had to share it.


I doubt that there is anyone alive today who needs no Tikun in this area.  But I believe it is enough to sweat in the performance of any Mitzvah.  This way, we can get the Tikun without anyone having to, c"v, die.
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by Abtt.

Re: starting my battle 03 Sep 2009 16:27 #15641

  • bardichev
10-4
Last Edit: by hatikvah.

Re: starting my battle 04 Sep 2009 03:41 #15792

  • Hoping
  • Current streak: 361 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 202
  • Karma: 0
Just a thought-

We all go through different periods during the day/week/month etc. Sometimes we are in a bad mood, stressed out, or the like. During a time of stress, it is difficult to work on fighting the YH. Yet that is exactly when he is at his strongest. When the YH is not bothering us, we tend not to think about him to much. But the truth is, the only way to be successful and act properly during the difficult times ,is if we prepare ourselves by fortifying our awareness of HKBH when things are calm. That way, when times get tough, it will be easier for us to turn to Him. Also, if we train ourselves to be more selfless, we have a better chance of not becoming self-serving when we are sad/ upset/ depressed/ stressed.
Last Edit: by talentandability.

Re: starting my battle 08 Sep 2009 12:02 #16528

  • Hoping
  • Current streak: 361 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 202
  • Karma: 0
I' am having a rough day today.

I wish I would follow my own advice a little more....
Last Edit: by mv813.

Re: starting my battle 08 Sep 2009 14:10 #16559

  • Kedusha
  • Current streak: 442 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3167
  • Karma: 44
Dear Hoping,

Please set up some serious Gedarim to keep you several steps from, c"v, falling.  Wishing you much Hatzlacha! 
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by impulsive.

Re: starting my battle 08 Sep 2009 16:11 #16618

  • Dov
  • OFFLINE
  • Administrator
  • Baby-steps; Easy does it.
  • Posts: 1920
  • Karma: 357
hoping wrote on 08 Sep 2009 12:02:

I' am having a rough day today. I wish I would follow my own advice a little more....


Dear hoping - I'm having a rough one too, kind of squirrely inside the old head. Thanks.
Just a thought regarding Keriyas Shema: The halocha is that lechatchila we are to hear what our own mouths are saying, but are yotzei just by saying it. But it's bidieved. R' Yosi holds we are not yotzei at all w/o hearing it. This goes for bentching, too, and any other "speaking" mitzvah. Nu. Just something to think about, as I consider that halocha is reflecting a lesson in practicality, here. We rarely really hear what we are saying, often don't follow our own advice, either.
Sometimes when I feel the way you may be describing, I need to actually shut up occasionally (a tall order for me!!) and follow someone else's advice. It could be Hashem's, it could be a person's - no matter. As long as it isn't me. If it sounds useful, I go with it.
Just a thought...
Keep on walking be"H, friend.

Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em:
"The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough"
"Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!"
"The heck with me, what can I do for you?"
"I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"
Last Edit: by Ish Yehudi.

Re: starting my battle 09 Sep 2009 03:26 #16777

  • Hoping
  • Current streak: 361 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 202
  • Karma: 0
Thank you Kedusha and Dov for your responses.

Thank you BARDICHEV for cheering me up with your posts all over the forum.

I can not live my life on autopilot anymore. I KNOW where that takes me. I spent many years living in autopilot mode, even growing in learning and other areas, all while running on auto. For me, recovery is a change to manual shift. I have to proactively live in recovery so that I don't need the lust. That includes living with Hashem and focusing on fulfilling the needs of others rather than my own needs. Today I was under a lot of pressure (financial and personal), and I did not turn to Hashem as I should have. Thank G-d, I did not succumb to lust. This was a total, undeserved gift from Hashem (I know, every day is-but this one doesn't even make sense). Even when I C"V forget Hashem, He never forgets me. I must go back to actively living in recovery if I want any hope of staying sober. I hope that I will succeed tomorrow in living as I need to. I fear falling backwards if I do not continue to move forwards.

I do not know if my ramble makes sense to anyone, but I had to get it off my chest.
Last Edit: by Arkdaniel.

Re: starting my battle 09 Sep 2009 14:19 #16885

  • battleworn
Hoping, if that doesn't make sense then nothing does! That's recovery in a nutshell!
Last Edit: by crassie.

Re: starting my battle 09 Sep 2009 18:38 #16964

  • Dov
  • OFFLINE
  • Administrator
  • Baby-steps; Easy does it.
  • Posts: 1920
  • Karma: 357
Ditto Battleworn.

And hoping:

[size=40pt]take it eeeeasy, bud

ahhhhh.   :D :D 8) 8)
Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em:
"The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough"
"Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!"
"The heck with me, what can I do for you?"
"I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"
Last Edit: 10 Sep 2009 23:14 by aMosh.

Re: starting my battle 10 Sep 2009 03:25 #17086

  • Kedusha
  • Current streak: 442 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 3167
  • Karma: 44
You're an inspiration, Hoping!
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by jdac0854.

Re: starting my battle 21 Sep 2009 17:51 #19168

  • Hoping
  • Current streak: 361 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 202
  • Karma: 0
Dear Chavra (and especially Guard)-

The Rosh hashana that I just had is incomparable to any other that I had experienced in the past. I still have a very long way to go, but I felt that I have at least an opening in my life with which I can relate to Hashem. It is not that I am anywhere near where I should be, it is the fact that I can honestly assess where I am right now and make a commitment to improve. While acting out with my addiction, I never was able to look honestly at where I was. I felt like a big rasha mixed up with a Tzaddik. Now I know that I am neither. Rather I am a Yid who is trying to get closer to Hashem. Before, I was not happy with who I was, always thinking that if only I learned/davened better,I wouldn't lust so much. I did not involve G-d too much; I would do this on my own. Now, my life revolves around Hashem. Not much has changed, yet everything has changed. I have not entirely lost my tendency towards lust, but my shemiras ainayim is at a level that I have never kept before. I have not suddenly begun to do everything right, but I can honestly say to Hashem that I am on the path to improvement and that I am fully accepting Him as my boss. This, for me, was the first time that I was able to mean it when I declared the Malchiyus of Hahem on Rosh Hashana.

Thank you everyone. It is to you that I owe my new lease on life.
Last Edit: 21 Sep 2009 21:04 by Bf.

Re: starting my battle 21 Sep 2009 18:12 #19183

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 5 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6430
  • Karma: 134
ACE laasos LaHashem
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by -Dretska-.
Time to create page: 0.57 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes