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TOPIC: Britt's Beyond 33031 Views

Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 29 Oct 2010 09:33 #81951

  • Eye.nonymous
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That's great!
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 29 Oct 2010 14:27 #81980

  • ZemirosShabbos
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Zemmy here: put in the CD and crank up the volume!

sound great to hear good how you're doing, Reb Briut!

have a super shabbos!
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 29 Oct 2010 16:19 #82007

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Hey friend,

Back here after an absence of quite a while, and partially due to your ALL-STAR trip story being reported in the daily chizuk emails.

I caught up on the last 10 poages or so of your blog and can relate to a great deal of it intimately (the need to act out - the burden of perfection - the "unfairness" of it all) and want to tell you that I admire you greatly for your intellectual and emotional honesty, and for sharing it all with us.

I am so happy for you that you had that experience...may we all feel the closeness of TBGU so closely as well!

Best wishes for a great Shabbos

Shmendrick
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 30 Oct 2010 18:35 #82074

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Mazal tov!

Glad to hear about your success, and even happier to hear that you feel so good about it!
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 02 Nov 2010 23:34 #82613

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Mazel Tov! Great job!  ....what happened? I do not get the chizzuk emails, so I do not know what y'all are talking about! Clue me in, OK? I am a big fan of the Briut guy.....
Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em:
"The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough"
"Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!"
"The heck with me, what can I do for you?"
"I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 02 Nov 2010 23:46 #82617

  • ur-a-jew
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You should really sign up for the emails. Kshimo ken hu. Lots of chizzuk in them especially from this Dov guy.
Help free Sholom Rubashkin by giving him the zechus of Shemiras Eiynayim.  www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2809.0
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 02 Nov 2010 23:48 #82619

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...chizzuk is in the eye of the bechizzuked.....does that make any sense?
Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em:
"The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough"
"Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!"
"The heck with me, what can I do for you?"
"I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 02 Nov 2010 23:53 #82622

  • ur-a-jew
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Bechizzuked. Sounds like a horror movie.
Help free Sholom Rubashkin by giving him the zechus of Shemiras Eiynayim.  www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2809.0
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 03 Nov 2010 21:18 #82761

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I'm still stuck in that space of fantasizing about one (last, little) megafall. I hear from everyone here that it wouldn't be the last, and wouldn't be little. But even so, I'm not pushing various thoughts aside but rather wondering how to hold on to them even longer. It's not good for my blood pressure or anything else....

It's not healthy, but I'm trying to use this as a diary of brutal honesty. So here it is. Emmes. Takke emess.
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 03 Nov 2010 21:22 #82763

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I find that calling my sponsor or another person in the program and spelling out the details does wonders for dispelling how wonderful that recall is.  When others know about our fantasies they loose quite a bit of their allure.
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 03 Nov 2010 21:26 #82772

  • ZemirosShabbos
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reb Briut, i think that jooboy is onto something there. if you would spill the beans to another person you would feel all 'bechizzuked' again.
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 03 Nov 2010 21:38 #82781

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Briut wrote on 03 Nov 2010 21:18:

I'm still stuck in that space of fantasizing about one (last, little) megafall.

I thought the one (last, little) megafall was on October 5th.  You need way more sobriety now to plan a really good (really the last one) megafall.
Help free Sholom Rubashkin by giving him the zechus of Shemiras Eiynayim.  www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2809.0
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 04 Nov 2010 03:39 #82831

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Briut,

I realized recently that that approach is what has prevented me from climbing the 90 day chart. I was always thinking about the big picture - about the whole 90 days. I would tell myself, this will be my last time and I will do the 90-day thing tomorrow. Then I will still be a sober, clean yid - just one day later, right?

WRONG! I've been saying that for 10 years! It is time to start taking it day-by-day. I don't want the 90 days. I don't want to be a sober yid who has been clean for a long time. I just want to be a yid who holds out for today. It's about learning to hate the act so much that you just want to keep it away, even if only for today. I will say the same tomorrow. And the day after that - hopefully ad yom mosi. But this seems to be the approach I have to take. Hatzlacha.
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 04 Nov 2010 04:50 #82841

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Sorry, I hope I'm not discounting the sincerity or your struggle with the best ever mega fall.  For some crazy reason what came up when I caught up on your thread was remembering how it feels to pick at a scab.

Whatever...

have a good shabbos
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Re: La-Briut and Beyond! 04 Nov 2010 12:37 #82861

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dovekbashem,

I think you are right on target with the one day at a time thing.  That is staright up 100% 12-Step program and Torah approach.

It's about learning to hate the act so much that you just want to keep it away, even if only for today.
is not.

From the stories of countless addicts and my own experience, we can be absolutely filled with hatred, disgust and remorse WHILE WE ARE ACTUALLY DOING THE THINGS WE HAVE A COMPULSION TO DO!!!!!!!

It sounds insane because it is.  That is the nature of addiction - insanity.  We do those things that we hate to do because our obsession tells us we have to.

That is why I have never found hating to look at porn enough of a reason to stop and why the 2nd Step is so critical - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Just knowing that we are insane is not enough, I need God to restore me to sanity, on my own I can not heal my own mind.
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