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Bamboo's 90 days
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Bamboo's 90 days 2175 Views

Bamboo's 90 days 20 Jan 2010 04:02 #47122

  • nateyde
My story is posted in the Introduce Yourself section of the forums

rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=1510.0

Here is my update-

I am up to 27 days right now and feeling great about it. 

Today was actually the first day I had the yetzer hara challenge me a tiny bit (with thoughts during davening and a shiur nonetheless!) but I was able to clear my mind pretty easily.

My first goal, even before the 90 days is a full hebrew calendar month, so I am 4/30 of the way there!

Thanks for all the support!!!
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 20 Jan 2010 04:09 #47124

  • nateyde
also,  there is another challenge I have been working on-

I have been trying to get friends of mine to come to the site, but am am running into some resistance.  It seems like many peoples addictions have become so normal, that they don't think of it as an addiction and thus don't care to fix it. Even more so, they don't realize how big an aveira lusting and wasting seed are.

With this being such a private matter, it is very difficult.  I can't say everything I want to say and people wont admit everything they do wrong.

Suggestions?

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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 20 Jan 2010 06:01 #47132

  • habaletaher
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My personal suggestion is you focus on helping yourself first. This is a very touchy and uncomfortable subject, and people are not likely to respond well to suggestions they come here. As long as they know about it, they will end up here when they are ready to confront their YH, in the meantime, you have to focus on you...

But that is just my opinion, and hey I voted for Obama...............NOT!!!
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 21 Jan 2010 02:32 #47387

  • silentbattle
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First of all, you're absolutely correct. It's so sad that this has become a normal thing, in so many ways.

Dov has mentioned many times that we need to work on ourselves, and share what works - not insist, or try to change others.

You can share your knowledge, and hope they come...but that's up to them, not you.

Another point is that they might feel uncomfortable coming if they know that you'll know who they are. Give them their space, and hopefully the'll be here, even if you don't know.

And anyway, you've done what you can. You showed them the door - it's up to them whether or not they want to walk through.
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 07 Feb 2010 05:15 #51646

  • nateyde
Half way to 90!!!

Feeling great.
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 07 Feb 2010 20:12 #51734

  • sci1977
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KUTGW!!  Just try and remember to take it slow and one day at a time!!!
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 07 Feb 2010 20:28 #51739

  • bardichev
WE HAVE A WHOLE FLEET OF STEALTH BOMBERS

KEEP ON FLYING!!!!
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 07 Feb 2010 21:22 #51760

  • silentbattle
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Fantastic! Keep on rocking!

Want to share some of your strategies, thoughts, suggestions?
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 23 Mar 2010 19:00 #59418

  • nateyde
I wanted to update y'all and tell you I made it through 90 days last night.  On the one hand I am extremely happy an proud- I have only been able to go 90 days clean a handful of times over the last 15 years.  On the other hand, my excitement is tempered and overtaken by the fact that I am happy about not doing this severe aveira over for 90 measly days.  Its a start, yes, and when I started I thought I would be proud as can be come 90 days, but I don't feel that at all.  There were certain times when I felt great, overcoming a challenge, especially when it was the same situations that I had fallen before.  But right now, I don't know.  I feel more bad than good.

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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 23 Mar 2010 22:03 #59439

  • silentbattle
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You might not feel good, but you are good. It would be great if you could have both, but if you had to choose, which would you rather? Exactly.

Look at it from another point of view - where is this feeling of being "down" coming from? You had a huge accomplishment, a great step forward (not a single step, but part of a beautiful journey) - hashem is proud of you, you know that for sure. Everyone here is impressed and inspired. So why don't you feel good?

Because the yetzer hora is testing you. If you feel good, it'll be easier to continue. You'll feel better about every time you won. You'll feel good about your life, your relationship with hashem, all the mitzvos you do. But the y"h is trying to take that away by using your voice and lying to you. Don't let him!

Measly? Every second that you resisted gets you access to reward that even the angels cannot imagine. You went 90 days, and you're still going! I'd tell you to buy a bottle of whiskey, but this really isn't the right time of year for that. Maybe find someone who has some nice whiskey that needs getting rid of?
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 24 Mar 2010 00:14 #59455

  • the.guard
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WOW. Mazal Tov!!

There's no magic to make you happy an free. But 90 days surely changed some of the addictive pattern in your mind. And you have proven to yourself that you are better than this addiction. Hashem loves you. You are from his elite warriors in today's dark world.

Keep on trucking!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 25 Mar 2010 21:20 #59646

  • nateyde
you guys can always put a smile on my face

I'm going to keep on truckin!!!
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 25 Mar 2010 21:26 #59648

  • nateyde
I wanted to add that one thing I read toward the beginning of my 90 days did make a difference.  I dont remember who said it or whether it was on a forum or article, but the person was saying how at a certain point when they were being tested, they laughed at the test.  Literally laughed. When I was tested in the first few weeks, I realized it was a test, and instead of fighting it with my old usual methods (that never worked) I too laughed out loud at the yetzer Harah trying to test me.  And that was that.

Also, it is no coincidence that after working on this for so long that I found this site and have had no troubles since.  It's 2 fold.  One is that this was the first time that I actually went looking for help instead of battling on my own, the second is the great resources and personalities that help along the way here.  Yashar Koach Gadol.  You are helping me turn around my spiritual life.

Anyone who is here has taken a huge first step, now we need to continue, and have great help along the way.
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 26 Mar 2010 00:45 #59668

  • silentbattle
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Is it possible that you're referring to this?

silentbattle wrote on 08 Jan 2010 14:47:

Went to sleep laughing to myself...then got woken up by Ano, and drifted back to sleep chuckling again.

Here's why:

As I was lying in bed, trying to go to sleep, the yetzer hora started reminding me of how great it feels when I can just dream and fantasize. He was saying, "doesn't it make you feel so great, better than anything else?!"

And I honestly started laughing, and I said, "That's a load of garbage! No way you're going to fool me with your lies! I know how it feels afterward, but more importantly, I know how great it feels when I don't listen to you!"

And I literally laughed my way to sleep...

I think it was a first for me, in several ways - aside from being the first time I've laughed myself to sleep, it was also so clear to me how, while the draw of fantasy was still there, it was obviously fake.


If so, I'm honored that my experience helped you - I would be happy if it helped anyone, but you can imagine how wonderful I feel, that I was able to contribute to such a major step forward!

Thank you!
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Re: Bamboo's 90 days 26 Mar 2010 14:19 #59699

  • nateyde
this was it, thank you silentbattle!  If anyone doubts whether it is good to share your strategies, share anyway.  You never know what can help others.
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