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Starting 90 days let’s go!
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Starting 90 days let’s go! 1799 Views

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 23 Mar 2022 02:51 #378948

  • Whatamithinking
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Ur too hard on yourself. Carrying the yoke of life is a virtue in and of itself. Most people abdicate the seriousness of life and wouldn't end up on a forum like this.

​The fact that a bunch of 20 to 30 year olds congregate anonymously to figure their s**t out is huge victory. You're among the living. My 2 cents. 

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 23 Mar 2022 11:06 #378957

  • Larry Bird
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Thanks whatamithinking! You’re so right. 

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 23 Mar 2022 13:34 #378960

  • Larry Bird
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Day 4 update: I woke up feeling under the weather. Was thinking how much I want to stay home. But was struggling with having to tell my boss that I wouldn’t be in today. I started to go to work. But not feeling as motivated as previous days. There was traffic on the way to work and I stared at a few girls. I’m feeling down. Do girls know how much they control me? I need to get my mood in order so I don’t fall. My mind is back and forth between give in to my feelings of lust and stay strong. I think the root of my mood is that I’m not feeling great. In the past every time I was home sick I would watch porn. I hope I can overcome this. 

thanks for listening.

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 23 Mar 2022 14:15 #378962

  • Vehkam
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The girls don’t control you. It’s the fantasy that is controlling you. The work to avoid these feelings is best put in when you are not in the situation of heightened desire. That is when you can build up your resistance through motivation and changing your perspective.

Whatever you do, do not think for a second that giving in will make you feel better. That is utter fantasy and at best will give you a couple of minutes of enjoyment followed by a low that is even worse than how you feel now. On the other hand, the accomplishment of having a 4 next to your name will stay with you for a whole day (and beyond)
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 23 Mar 2022 15:24 #378967

  • 5Uu80*cdwB#^
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Vehkam wrote on 23 Mar 2022 14:15:
It’s the fantasy that is controlling you.

Yep. Fantasies and lust = life of misery. Ability to simply move on from undesired thoughts of women that popped into brain = life of freedom and ability to serve Hashem with joy.
As long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

As
long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

As
long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 23 Mar 2022 17:35 #378975

  • jackthejew
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Larry Bird wrote on 23 Mar 2022 13:34:
Day 4 update: I woke up feeling under the weather. Was thinking how much I want to stay home. But was struggling with having to tell my boss that I wouldn’t be in today. I started to go to work. But not feeling as motivated as previous days. There was traffic on the way to work and I stared at a few girls. I’m feeling down. Do girls know how much they control me? I need to get my mood in order so I don’t fall. My mind is back and forth between give in to my feelings of lust and stay strong. I think the root of my mood is that I’m not feeling great. In the past every time I was home sick I would watch porn. I hope I can overcome this. 

thanks for listening.

Try this talk from Dov. guardyoureyes.com/GYEFiles/MP3s/Dov/Dov%20to%20Bochur%20News-story.mp3
Feel free to reach out! jackthejewgye@gmail.com I'll do my best to try and listen! 
Hashem is always with you!
Life. Learning. Liberty from the Past
Life: Actual, enjoyable living. Not to sulk through the shadows juggling the "Frum side" and "Dark side"
Learning: Learn and grow from my mistakes, triumphs, and experiences
Liberty from the Past:  To have today's struggle be Different than yesterday's

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 23 Mar 2022 21:48 #378992

  • frank.lee
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How about this idea:
When you feel creeping up passion/temptation/laziness, try to focus on saying thank you to Hashem! You should be jumping up and dancing and singing to Hashem!! Hashem gave you these emotions because he loves you! He knows this is good for you - to have challenges and opportunity to be better, overcome things etc. Hashem knows that is the best for you, instead of being a robot with no challenges, no opportunities! Thank you Hashem!!

If you can not jump up and dance, still try to think about this.

Does that help you?

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 24 Mar 2022 00:52 #379005

  • Larry Bird
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Day 4 recap: after this mornings small challenges I got good chizzuk from vehkam and others. Bh my feelings went away!! Thank you all! 

thank you for reading. Keep you posted hatzlacha!

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 24 Mar 2022 16:52 #379046

  • Larry Bird
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I just gave in. I’m working from home today. Frustrating work situation. Gave in it was too easy. I didn’t open my laptop the whole week, but I had to today to work. Started with listen to a woman singing. Then when I got frustrated I lost control of myself. The journey never ends.

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 24 Mar 2022 17:26 #379047

  • 5Uu80*cdwB#^
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Larry Bird wrote on 24 Mar 2022 16:52:
I just gave in. I’m working from home today. Frustrating work situation. Gave in it was too easy. I didn’t open my laptop the whole week, but I had to today to work. Started with listen to a woman singing. Then when I got frustrated I lost control of myself. The journey never ends.

Sorry about your fall and pain in this struggle. Pause, strengthen yourself, and get up and get moving again though. You can do it. Also, read my signature; it's important. Have a good day.
As long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

As
long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

As
long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 24 Mar 2022 20:29 #379052

  • Whatamithinking
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As long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

This isn't fair. If I'm not looking at porn at least let me pretend like I am!!!

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 24 Mar 2022 21:20 #379055

  • jackthejew
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Whatamithinking wrote on 24 Mar 2022 20:29:
As long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

This isn't fair. If I'm not looking at porn at least let me pretend like I am!!!

And then unfortunately I usually wind up not pretending anymore..
Feel free to reach out! jackthejewgye@gmail.com I'll do my best to try and listen! 
Hashem is always with you!
Life. Learning. Liberty from the Past
Life: Actual, enjoyable living. Not to sulk through the shadows juggling the "Frum side" and "Dark side"
Learning: Learn and grow from my mistakes, triumphs, and experiences
Liberty from the Past:  To have today's struggle be Different than yesterday's

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 25 Mar 2022 01:32 #379059

  • Markz
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Whatamithinking wrote on 24 Mar 2022 20:29:
As long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

This isn't fair. If I'm not looking at porn at least let me pretend like I am!!!

Perhaps there’s not much difference. If you take fantasy out of the equation, or in other words shut the imagination section of your brain, doesn’t most/all of porn loose its “lust”er?
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 25 Mar 2022 02:05 #379060

  • Vehkam
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The journey doesn’t end but if you can change your perspective the journey becomes exciting and rewarding. The beginning is difficult by the rewards are exponentially great.
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: Starting 90 days let’s go! 29 Mar 2022 02:57 #379265

  • Larry Bird
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Bh It’s been going well. 
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