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TOPIC: My new life 4241 Views

Re: My new life 30 Jun 2022 04:22 #382644

  • bochur23
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Oh, and I had another clean day boruch hashem.
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

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Re: My new life 01 Jul 2022 03:10 #382704

  • bochur23
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And another clean day boruch hashem!

Not sure what's going on with the flight to freedom website, it keeps going online and offline throughout the day today. Hopefully tomorrow it'll be more stable. The new website seems to be nice, although it'll take getting used to.
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com

Re: My new life 01 Jul 2022 05:41 #382712

  • bochur23
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I didn't yet do the CBA worksheet, but on the new website I don't see it there as part of the program altogether. I guess it was dropped?
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com

Re: My new life 01 Jul 2022 09:27 #382714

Yes, the CBA tool was dropped from the main program, we no longer consider it a vital tool, although it could be helpful for some people. Here's a copy of it, if you want to try it: guardyoureyes.com/f2f/w/1.2.pdf
There's Life Beyond Addiction

Re: My new life 01 Jul 2022 12:38 #382715

  • yechielmichel
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MenachemGYE wrote on 01 Jul 2022 09:27:
Yes, the CBA tool was dropped from the main program, we no longer consider it a vital tool, although it could be helpful for some people. Here's a copy of it, if you want to try it: guardyoureyes.com/f2f/w/1.2.pdf

Interesting, I don't keep up with all the tools. But I listened to the first sample of Rabbi Shafier's video and he mentions that people come to GYE already having the motivation. And this seems like a tool to develop motivation.

Although from what I see from the forum, some guys don't have their motivation clear.

Re: My new life 01 Jul 2022 22:58 #382739

  • bochur23
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I'm putting away my phone for shabbos soon, so I'm just going to check in for today, boruch hashem another day clean.

This Shabbos will be very meaningful, I hope to get כחות and inspiration to continue on winning IYH, and in even greater ways than now.
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com

Re: My new life 03 Jul 2022 02:13 #382752

  • Markz
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bochur23 wrote on 24 Jun 2022 05:16:
Went home for shabbos, so far clean for today.

I'm in a little bit of a tough situation (though not unexpected): My parents want me to start shidduchim. Like right now. They already have some suggestions that they want to look into. I would also like to; I'm already 24 and most of my friends are married, some already with a kid (I've done a few וואך נאכט shifts recently  ).

But I don't think it would be healthy for me in my current situation. I'm still struggling too much and haven't yet had steady success, although I think (hope...) I'm going in the right direction. I also can't imagine myself telling a girl about this (My issue has been serious and long enough that I don't think it's right not to tell, unless someone can convince me otherwise).

Although my parents know that I've struggled in the past, they don't know the extent of it and think that after I had four consultations two years ago - I'm all good.
I think they realize something isn't right since I keep pushing them off, but I don't feel comfortable telling them I don't want to start since I'm still watching porn.

I don't know how (or if there is even a way) to handle this well.

Hi. You mentioned CBA, so I wonder if it would be helpful to discuss your marriage CBA with your coach / therapist / rabbi, because I get the impression (which may be wrong) that you’re not driven to get married at this time, so it’s helpful to get that out to the open with someone. It can be helpful, and may give insight to your convo with your parents. 

What do you think?
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Re: My new life 03 Jul 2022 04:01 #382756

  • bochur23
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Markz wrote on 03 Jul 2022 02:13:
Hi. You mentioned CBA, so I wonder if it would be helpful to discuss your marriage CBA with your coach / therapist / rabbi, because I get the impression (which may be wrong) that you’re not driven to get married at this time, so it’s helpful to get that out to the open with someone. It can be helpful, and may give insight to your convo with your parents. 

What do you think?

As long as I don't speak to anyone this isn't really relevant, but yes, once I speak to someone I probably should discuss this as well. 
Although, I'm not fully sure what exactly you mean. I do want to get married, I just know that it's better for me not to right now. This is probably partially motivating me more than my previous streaks boruch hashem. So I'm not sure what I would have to discuss with someone specifically in a CBA context.

Anyways, Shabbos was amazing - and clean boruch hashem! Sunday is either day 14 (90 days challenge) or day 13 (flight to freedom). I think I'm going to go with the second one, so two days left to break my record.
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com

Re: My new life 03 Jul 2022 04:17 #382760

Keep up the great work!! Always remember that each day by itself is a huge accomplishment. It took me a long time to really ingrain that, but when i did, it gave me a great feeling at the end of every day and was mechazek me to keep going the next day. 
Looking forward to hearing tons of hatzlacha in your journey!!
If you are in the same situation as me, a bachur who’s fighting every day to break free, feel free to reach out to me at hopeful1245@gmail.com. I can use the chizuk from other bachrim and im sure you can use the chizuk as well. We are all in this together!
My thread on the forum

Re: My new life 04 Jul 2022 04:35 #382804

  • bochur23
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And another day clean boruch hashem! And I just (like 10 minutes ago) got some very good news about a good friend of mine.

I haven't moved forward in the flight to freedom program, since I need to print out the Characteristics of Successful Changers worksheet, and I need to use the computer for that which I didn't get a chance to do yet. I guess that's part of life not using unfiltered devices. IYH I'll try to get that done tomorrow so I can continue on.
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com

Re: My new life 05 Jul 2022 05:33 #382854

  • bochur23
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So today was a milestone for me.

First of all, it's 49 days since I "rejoined" GYE, and I've seen some slowly progressing success during this time. My success rate is %84 for this time period.More specifically, today I boruch hashem reached 14 days clean! For the first time since Kislev. I definitely feel that I should celebrate somehow, I'll probably buy something that I've wanted for a while.

The things I've consciously done differently this time that I think have contributed to my success, are A. Consistently posting on the forum, B. Looking out for what/when/where I fall and patching it up, C. Working (even if very slowly...) On the flight to freedom program - I don't think it's the program itself (since I've barely finished the first lesson), rather more about being "in middle of it". Not sure what else.
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com
Last Edit: 05 Jul 2022 05:40 by bochur23.

Re: My new life 05 Jul 2022 17:43 #382871

Woohoo..L'chaim..grab a schwarma
3 things to think about... 
#1 do you want to stop?
#2 WHY do you want to stop?
#3 (assuming you answered yes to #1 and found your why) What behaviors are causing you to fall
#4 stop overthinking

Re: My new life 06 Jul 2022 05:21 #382919

  • bochur23
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So. Another day clean boruch hashem. I came home very late last night and I DIDN'T FALL! I didn't even think about that until just now...

And so in honor of reaching 14 days A. There was a glitch in the system so I couldn't see all the thank yous until they fixed it in the afternoon, and B. Two threads were started on the forum which include "new life" in their title .

Lchaim Tovim wrote on 05 Jul 2022 17:43:
Woohoo..L'chaim..grab a schwarma


I did celebrate. Not by buying a schwarma (sorry, I don't like it. Don't be offended ), but by buying a book that I've wanted to get for a long time.
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com
Last Edit: 06 Jul 2022 05:24 by bochur23.

Re: My new life 06 Jul 2022 13:44 #382933

Nice! enjoy the read you definitely deserve it.
3 things to think about... 
#1 do you want to stop?
#2 WHY do you want to stop?
#3 (assuming you answered yes to #1 and found your why) What behaviors are causing you to fall
#4 stop overthinking

Re: My new life 07 Jul 2022 06:09 #383032

  • bochur23
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Lchaim Tovim wrote on 06 Jul 2022 13:44:
Nice! enjoy the read you definitely deserve it.

Thanks, I did enjoy it. I read the whole book, over 230 pages - and it's not a novel. Now I have to wait for my next celebration to get the next book IYH.

another day clean boruch hashem!
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com
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