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TOPIC: My new life 7081 Views

My new life 25 Jan 2022 11:45 #376441

  • bochur23
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I was debating if I should just continue my old thread (https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/359379-restarting), but I decided to make a fresh start.
I've "tried" many times before to fight this, without much success. Over the past year, I've had some better times, but so far nothing lasting.
What's different now is that boruch hashem I have constant access to GYE on a filtered device (until now it was always on unfiltered devices, which is why I didn't visit too often). Hopefully that will help things along, as I'll be able to use all the resources available to help me.
Im yirtzeh hashem I will now be able to update every day, and I plan to do so.

So today starts day 1 of the rest of my life!
Bochur23
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com
Last Edit: 25 Jan 2022 11:54 by bochur23.

Re: My new life 25 Jan 2022 14:45 #376455

  • joetyh
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Welcome!!!! You Should feel amazing that you had the courage to filter your device!!!! keep us posted!!!! and feel free to reach out to my email in my signature if you want to shmuz!!
feel free to contact me with chizzuk or to stam shmuz @ joestyh@gmail.com 

Re: My new life 25 Jan 2022 15:29 #376458

That's good to hear. You've probably seen this method already but check out the TaPHSiC method in addition to the filter here: Tool 10: Extra Strong Fences - TaPhSiC Method (guardyoureyes.com) Just in case you come across loopholes in your filter which you can't immediately fix as it leaves you in a vulnerable situation to go and exploit it. It happened to me that when I found a loophole, which I wasn't even trying to look for, that I gave into watching. The TaPHSiC method would've saved me from that as I fixed that loophole the very next day so all I had to do was last one day. 
FOR FREE FILTERS AND ACCOUNTABILITY SOLUTIONS CLICK HERE
(Includes WebChaver/CovenantEyes, Microsoft Family Safety, and Apple
Screentime
and a how-to guide to set them up without loopholes)  

Even if you already have a filter, these are necessary additions because
they fix many loopholes that exist with paid filters (speaking from firsthand
experience) and because they add priceless accountability features.

If you have trouble filtering a shared device, then see the post for how
to get these filters discreetly, without any other users' knowledge whatsoever
and without the filters affecting the other users of the device at all.

Re: My new life 26 Jan 2022 06:13 #376506

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Day 1 down, on to the next day 1 - ODAAT!

I see I was a bit misunderstood. My devices are filtered, but I still had constant access to unfiltered internet. That's a problem I still have, since currently I can't change the situation I'm in. What changed is that until now I didn't have access to GYE on a filtered device so I rarely used it, and now I have access on my (filtered) phone to GYE.
So the way I kept falling is still a problem, but now I have access to GYE.
Thanks for the feedback! Im yirtzeh hashem I'll be able to update tomorrow with more good news.
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com

Re: My new life 26 Jan 2022 07:00 #376508

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oooh sorry I misunderstood!!! I there any way to get those devices (that arent yours...) filtered? Like I know that my Mother's phone is open and even though it hasnt ever really been an issue (I always figured out access without it unfotunately ....) I plan on asking her to get a filter not just for me... I've got younger brothers too....
feel free to contact me with chizzuk or to stam shmuz @ joestyh@gmail.com 

Re: My new life 26 Jan 2022 18:32 #376533

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bochur23 wrote on 26 Jan 2022 06:13:
Day 1 down, on to the next day 1 - ODAAT!

I see I was a bit misunderstood. My devices are filtered, but I still had constant access to unfiltered internet. That's a problem I still have, since currently I can't change the situation I'm in. What changed is that until now I didn't have access to GYE on a filtered device so I rarely used it, and now I have access on my (filtered) phone to GYE.
So the way I kept falling is still a problem, but now I have access to GYE.
Thanks for the feedback! Im yirtzeh hashem I'll be able to update tomorrow with more good news.

Welcome back!

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: My new life 27 Jan 2022 03:42 #376544

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Day 2 down, so far so good! a bit under the weather, but keeping busy.

@joetyh: unfortunately, in my current situation the way I see it as well as those I've discussed it with, it doesn't seem possible get that specific device filtered (I've asked for it, and the answer was no). My only option would be moving out, which isn't practical.

but I can make it through - if this is my challenge, then hashem gave me the strength to overcome it in other ways.

יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com

Re: My new life 28 Jan 2022 02:24 #376586

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Yay! I'm up to level 2 - three days clean! Not an unreachable level for me, but a point I haven't reached in the last few weeks.
On to the next day!
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com
Last Edit: 28 Jan 2022 03:39 by bochur23. Reason: Text mistake

Re: My new life 28 Jan 2022 10:43 #376599

  • UpAndDown
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Dear Bochur23,

I have looked through this thread and your previous thread and must say you inspire me, because having the unfiltered device available to you makes it so much harder to pull yourself out of these bad habits and staying clean - Kol Hakavod!!

Just wondering: Is there any way you could ask the owner of that unfiltered device to make a password that you will not know and instruct him never to tell you?

From my own experience, however much will-power I had to stop watching stuff, as long as the device was available - I would fall at one point, either when having a weak moment (or tired of fighting the YH) or just "by mistake".

As it says: בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה - we're in a war with the Yetzer Hara. It is not sufficient to work on one strategy of battle. We must ensure that the enemy doesn't have any way to beat us! We must close up all of the accessable ways of our enemy.

Just sharing thoughts, based on my own experience...

Looking forward to hearing from you!

UpAndDown

Re: My new life 28 Jan 2022 21:19 #376613

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A guten erev shabbos, I'm marking down day 4 as clean.
@UpAndDown: not sure that'll work. It's a computer that many people use, so it can't really be locked all the time unless everyone would know the password.
Really what should happen is that a filter should be installed, but when I asked they were worried it would block websites that they need (a bit hard to explain here, but I understand what they meant. Except that it's not really true, even a basic basic filter would be better than nothing. I'm just not getting through to them on this).
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com

Re: My new life 30 Jan 2022 04:35 #376621

  • bochur23
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Gut voch, shabbos was okay (except that I'm really feeling under the weather, probably the flu).

5 days down, on to tomorrow.
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com

Re: My new life 30 Jan 2022 06:54 #376626

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Flu? Is that still a thing?

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: My new life 31 Jan 2022 04:28 #376676

  • bochur23
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Day 6!

@Zedj: well, I'm pretty sure I had omicron 2-3 weeks ago and then felt better, so it's probably not that...
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com

Re: My new life 01 Feb 2022 06:12 #376728

  • bochur23
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Wow, I made it to level 3! A full week straight!
I haven't had such a good streak since Kislev (at least).

So far what did it for me was my daily updates on the forum. But I need a better plan going forward - here's why:

The real reason why it was pretty easy this past week was because there were people around all the time. Literally, every bed was taken. But tomorrow the last guests are going home, and then it's back to only the regulars...

Meanwhile I have been using that computer as I please, just not for porn. But tonight I already had a little slip-up, which reminded me that i need to change something to keep my streak going.

So, for the next week I won't use the unfiltered computer, except (a) for paying bills for my grandmother, and someone needs to be watching; or (b) for the research projects that I'm working on, and someone needs to be watching, and I need to update my friend (that I'm in touch with over the phone) before & after.
יאוש - בכלל ה"ז היפך אמונתנו ותורתנו הנקראת תורת אמת - ז.א. המתארת המציאות לאמתתה, שהקב"ה משגיח על כאו"א בגו"ר ועוזרו וכו'.
הצינור והכלי לקבלת עזר לברכות השם - ה"ז הנהגה מתאימה לרצון השם, היינו ע"פ שו"ע.

Feel free to PM me, or email me at 23bochur@gmail.com

Re: My new life 01 Feb 2022 07:00 #376731

Kol hakavod for reaching out and having a chaver to stay in touch with. Really impressive to to call him before and after. Besides the actual accountability it's great to have someone that understands your struggle that you speak to on a constant basis.
For me I find that one of the greatest tool we have in our arsenal of tool against this yetzer hora.
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm"
- Sir Winston Churchill
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