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Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey.
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 8024 Views

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 22 Nov 2022 05:19 #388088

  • Geshmak!
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Human being wrote on 22 Nov 2022 05:15:
Thanks for asking! I actually don't have any computer at all. I use public computers because when i have my own screens i automatically watch porn.

Aha, I hear ya!
But even if your own computer would be filtered? Just asking not judging…
like today bh you can get amazing non brake able filters.. I’m not sure what you need your computer for but there are many different types that can work for everyone
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Don’t fall back even one step:https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/386598-Why-is-it-so-hard?limit=15&start
Feel free to pm me!
Last Edit: 22 Nov 2022 05:22 by Geshmak!.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 22 Nov 2022 05:32 #388091

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When i get "paralyzed" I'm unable to function without sexual content. i am just frozen and paralized. I do whatever it takes to get content. I am filter proof. There are no filters that work for someone who needs sexual content. 
Be a part of my 90 day journey! -Destination -90 days, A Human beings journey. Every post and suggestion response and chizzuk is appreciated.



I love connecting, supporting and sharing. To private message me, my email is Hashemsboy@gmail.com Feel free to say hello and #Shareyourstory.#NOJUDGMENTZONE!

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 22 Nov 2022 05:35 #388092

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Human being wrote on 22 Nov 2022 05:32:
When i get "paralyzed" I'm unable to function without sexual content. i am just frozen and paralized. I do whatever it takes to get content. I am filter proof. There are no filters that work for someone who needs sexual content. 

I get it! It’s amazing that you understand your challenge and you don’t have your own computer. You inspire me(us)!!

Btw I can’t wait for your 90 days party… were you making it? Can I please come?
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Don’t fall back even one step:https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/386598-Why-is-it-so-hard?limit=15&start
Feel free to pm me!
Last Edit: 22 Nov 2022 05:37 by Geshmak!.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 22 Nov 2022 05:37 #388093

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Omg i really should make a party.

were do the oilem think i should make it?


 
Be a part of my 90 day journey! -Destination -90 days, A Human beings journey. Every post and suggestion response and chizzuk is appreciated.



I love connecting, supporting and sharing. To private message me, my email is Hashemsboy@gmail.com Feel free to say hello and #Shareyourstory.#NOJUDGMENTZONE!

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 22 Nov 2022 05:38 #388094

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I would seriously come if Hhm gives me permission… which he won’t ( hope he doesn’t kill me for this) he’s a big fan of me staying away from people that I don’t know like he keeps reminding me to say the least that someone should finger out who I really am.. I guess he knows what he’s talking abt so I guess I’ll just follow the he’s rules but I do think it would be nice to party over someone’s accomplishment of controlling himself for 90 days! But ooh well that’s life don’t always get what u want…
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Don’t fall back even one step:https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/386598-Why-is-it-so-hard?limit=15&start
Feel free to pm me!
Last Edit: 22 Nov 2022 05:47 by Geshmak!.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 22 Nov 2022 05:43 #388095

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Makes sence "-) heres a hug and good night!
Be a part of my 90 day journey! -Destination -90 days, A Human beings journey. Every post and suggestion response and chizzuk is appreciated.



I love connecting, supporting and sharing. To private message me, my email is Hashemsboy@gmail.com Feel free to say hello and #Shareyourstory.#NOJUDGMENTZONE!

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 22 Nov 2022 05:49 #388096

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Human being wrote on 22 Nov 2022 05:43:
Makes sence "-) heres a hug and good night!

I want a REAL HUG!!
Good night sleep tight!
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Don’t fall back even one step:https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/386598-Why-is-it-so-hard?limit=15&start
Feel free to pm me!

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 22 Nov 2022 15:34 #388105

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heres a real hug :-)
Be a part of my 90 day journey! -Destination -90 days, A Human beings journey. Every post and suggestion response and chizzuk is appreciated.



I love connecting, supporting and sharing. To private message me, my email is Hashemsboy@gmail.com Feel free to say hello and #Shareyourstory.#NOJUDGMENTZONE!

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 22 Nov 2022 15:46 #388106

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88 my dears. 2 more out. Recently I've been paralyzed in my trauma, what we call an emotional flashback. life hasnt been so pleasant. I also like being pleasant around others so its double uncomfortable to me to be the unpleasant guy stuck in his emotions

In other news I've been losing karmas!  I hope love comes flowing back my way:relaxed:
Be a part of my 90 day journey! -Destination -90 days, A Human beings journey. Every post and suggestion response and chizzuk is appreciated.



I love connecting, supporting and sharing. To private message me, my email is Hashemsboy@gmail.com Feel free to say hello and #Shareyourstory.#NOJUDGMENTZONE!

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 23 Nov 2022 04:09 #388133

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Human being wrote on 22 Nov 2022 15:34:
heres a real hug :-)

I didn’t feel a real hug but at least you did… Btw it’s so exciting that your getting to day 90 !! I seriously hope your planning a nice party or treating yourself with something nice… besides you deserve it also show H’ your happy that you got here and asking for help further… just like by a siyem…
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Don’t fall back even one step:https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/386598-Why-is-it-so-hard?limit=15&start
Feel free to pm me!

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 23 Nov 2022 09:10 #388144

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I really relate to this. No filter will work for someone who needs sexual content. I would not recommend you getting your own device. From personal experience, when in an emotional flashback I will do anything I can to break through a filter, so now I have a device without a filter and i have something similar to a Taphsic in place so that I don't access sexual stuff/porn, except when I'm in a emotional flashback. I wish I could be device free.
@Human being, you're amazing that you have the strength not to have your own device. I think you're not a human being, you're an Angel.
Feel free to message me at ILAHCFM@gmail.com
Last Edit: 23 Nov 2022 14:48 by ILAHCFM.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 23 Nov 2022 18:26 #388161

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ILAHCFM wrote on 23 Nov 2022 09:10:
I really relate to this. No filter will work for someone who needs sexual content. I would not recommend you getting your own device. From personal experience, when in an emotional flashback I will do anything I can to break through a filter
@Human being, you're amazing that you have the strength not to have your own device. I think you're not a human being, you're an Angel.

Thank you so much brother. Yes indeed it is hard. I'm sure you know what it means to need porn. And btw for everyone out here, even not having my own devices hasn't always helped. I've had times where ive run to Walmart 10 minutes before they close and spent 100$ for a phone a phone plan and an activation fee for 20 min of porn. Whenever I'm in such an extreme flashback, sometimes i feel like i literary don't have bechira the danger is so extreme. Baruch Hashem I've gotten more control even in my most extreme emotional flashbacks.  

On an interesting note, i don't know what I'm going to do once the summer hits. im summer I have times when I feel such danger that Im literally on auto pilot and its as if someone is controlling my body and driving however long it takes to get to the closest accessible porn, no matter the cost no matter the time lost.
Be a part of my 90 day journey! -Destination -90 days, A Human beings journey. Every post and suggestion response and chizzuk is appreciated.



I love connecting, supporting and sharing. To private message me, my email is Hashemsboy@gmail.com Feel free to say hello and #Shareyourstory.#NOJUDGMENTZONE!
Last Edit: 23 Nov 2022 18:29 by Human being.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 23 Nov 2022 18:40 #388162

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Day 89.

wow, I'm getting emotional writing this. I've come such a long way and i have such a long way to go. Emes and Yashrus is a one lane highway with little to no traffic. I'm proud to be traveling along this highway with so many tzaddickin and special people. I feel like i want to cry from the amount of work it takes to reach this milestone. The ups, downs, falls, scratches, stitches, bandages, hugs, tears, frustrations, hope, wrong turns, U-turns. Red lights green lights and stop signs. Tsunami's, thunderstorms and floods of emotions. Thank you everyone for helping me reach this milestone.



Also thanks for all the love I've been getting. I love you guys too. Genuinely. Here's a real long and warm hug for all the friends and Bnia Aliyah growing, owning up and doing so many things that makes Hashem want to just be close with his kinderlach and love them forever and ever and ever. I love you Hashem. Thank you for being with me for so many years and holding my hand through thick and thin. Being there when i just wanted out. When i just cant take the pain any more and i have no interest in life anymore. Thank you for being here in my milestones and triumphs. In my celebrations and moments i need you most. Love you- (And you know my real name. and know that I love you and you love me to.) Aba i love you. Please help all the wonderful people here tap into the deep love they have for you, too.
Be a part of my 90 day journey! -Destination -90 days, A Human beings journey. Every post and suggestion response and chizzuk is appreciated.



I love connecting, supporting and sharing. To private message me, my email is Hashemsboy@gmail.com Feel free to say hello and #Shareyourstory.#NOJUDGMENTZONE!
Last Edit: 23 Nov 2022 19:04 by Human being.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 23 Nov 2022 18:48 #388164

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Human being wrote on 23 Nov 2022 18:40:
Day 89.

wow, I'm getting emotional writing this. I've come such a long way and i have such a long way to go. Emes and Yashrus is a one lane highway with little to no traffic. I'm proud to be traveling along this highway with so many tzaddickin and special people. I feel like i want to cry from the amount of work it takes to reach this milestone. The ups, downs, falls, scratches, stitches, bandages, hugs, tears, frustrations, hope, wrong turns, U-turns. Red lights green lights and stop signs. Tsunami's, thunderstorms and floods of emotions. Thank you everyone for helping me reach this milestone.



Also thanks for all the love I've been getting. I love you guys too. Genuinely. Here's a real long and warm hug for all the friends and Bnia Aliyah growing, owning up and doing so many things that makes Hashem want to just be close with his kinderlach and love them forever and ever and ever. I love you Hashem. Thank you for being with me for so many years and holding my hand through thick and thin. Being there when i just wanted out. When i just cant take the pain any more and i have no interest in life anymore. Thank you for being here in my milestones and triumphs. In my celebrations and moments i need you most. Love you-Your loving son. Hb (And you know my real name. and know that I love you and you love me to.) Aba i love you. Please help all the wonderful people here tap into the deep love they have for you, too.

Congratulations my beautiful friend on this milestone! I’m so proud of you, HB! (But I knew you could do it.) You are so amazing and self-aware. Keep on going!! I’m so smiling right now for you. Hugs back at you. 

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 23 Nov 2022 19:37 #388168

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Human being wrote on 23 Nov 2022 18:26:

ILAHCFM wrote on 23 Nov 2022 09:10:
I really relate to this. No filter will work for someone who needs sexual content. I would not recommend you getting your own device. From personal experience, when in an emotional flashback I will do anything I can to break through a filter
@Human being, you're amazing that you have the strength not to have your own device. I think you're not a human being, you're an Angel.

Thank you so much brother. Yes indeed it is hard. I'm sure you know what it means to need porn. And btw for everyone out here, even not having my own devices hasn't always helped. I've had times where ive run to Walmart 10 minutes before they close and spent 100$ for a phone a phone plan and an activation fee for 20 min of porn. Whenever I'm in such an extreme flashback, sometimes i feel like i literary don't have bechira the danger is so extreme. Baruch Hashem I've gotten more control even in my most extreme emotional flashbacks.  

On an interesting note, i don't know what I'm going to do once the summer hits. im summer I have times when I feel such danger that Im literally on auto pilot and its as if someone is controlling my body and driving however long it takes to get to the closest accessible porn, no matter the cost no matter the time lost.

I was gonna write in my previous post that in an emotional flashback if the person can't break through the filter, they'll just buy a new unfiltered device. But I didn't want to give you any ideas....In an emotional flashback, brain is at 10%, logic and common sense don't talk, the same way they won't talk to a 3yr old who can't find his mother....The only reason in the past during an emotional flashback that I didnt buy a new device if I couldn't get through the filter was, i was too scared to even go shopping (anxiety is at 500%), or I was dead scared of going into debt because I knew I would chuck out the phone as soon as the flashback was over and then constantly having to buy new devices and chuck them out would put me into debt. Looking back, I'm shocked that these reasons were enough to stop me...

@Human being, you're amazing that you didn't watch porn even during an emotional flashback, it's a level I'm unable to reach yet. Hopefully I'll reach it one day (still trying), and you managing to reach that level, inspires me to try...You're almost at day 90. WOW!
Feel free to message me at ILAHCFM@gmail.com
Last Edit: 23 Nov 2022 19:38 by ILAHCFM.
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