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Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey.
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 8674 Views

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 08 Nov 2022 15:12 #387423

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i dont think my challenges will ever go away. If they go away im dead. also my challenge in this area is just as much a safety issue then a porn issue. It will never become just another challenge, As long as im feeling alone and small in a dangerous world, im going to have the same sexual pull. My sexual pull hasnt changed over the last 74 days. My self control has.
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 09 Nov 2022 06:39 #387466

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day 53
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 09 Nov 2022 21:09 #387489

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1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1



I stared jogging every day. i hope to get to a goal of 50 days with an hour of jogging. Im on day 4 today.
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 09 Nov 2022 22:37 #387491

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Human being wrote on 09 Nov 2022 21:09:
1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1



I stared jogging every day. i hope to get to a goal of 50 days with an hour of jogging. Im on day 4 today.

Good luck. Maybe you’ll inspire me. 

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 10 Nov 2022 03:07 #387504

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4 miles a day for 50 days. 4 down 46 to go.
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 13 Nov 2022 22:40 #387658

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i fee like its day 9 or 10. I'm struggling in my interest to feel disconnection as apposed to just watching movies and feeling safe for a little. its annoying knowing what is making me feel unsafe, what would make me feel safe, and then in pops a religious part that says "sorry that is something to avoid" DAMN can i just rent a wife for a few days for companionship? NOTHING sexual. just a non judgmental safe place where i can use my love language which is touch to feel connected to another human being. I want non sexual soothing bonding touch so badly. RAAAAAAAA!!!


Day 79 my dearest of dears!!!!
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 13 Nov 2022 22:50 #387659

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I so feel you…your love language for feeling safe is to be held and touched and it’s not available to you. Our religion does make this kind of thing extra difficult. You can’t get a hug or just be held by someone when you so need to just be able to bury yourself in someone’s arms and feel protected. Sending you huge hugs, my dear, dear friend…❤️

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 13 Nov 2022 23:24 #387662

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Human being wrote on 13 Nov 2022 22:40:
i fee like its day 9 or 10. I'm struggling in my interest to feel disconnection as apposed to just watching movies and feeling safe for a little. its annoying knowing what is making me feel unsafe, what would make me feel safe, and then in pops a religious part that says "sorry that is something to avoid" DAMN can i just rent a wife for a few days for companionship? NOTHING sexual. just a non judgmental safe place where i can use my love language which is touch to feel connected to another human being. I want non sexual soothing bonding touch so badly. RAAAAAAAA!!!


Day 79 my dearest of dears!!!!

There are plenty of religious people that will connect with a hug.  Keep your eyes open for those people and try to make a connection with them. I have places that I go to occasionally for shabbos specifically because I know that I will get a hug
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 14 Nov 2022 19:36 #387712

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I don't feel the safety of touch with Frum people. My brain doesn't allow vulnerability around frum people for fear of eventual rejection. I wish I could find safety with frum people obviously, because i am frum myself, in yeshiva surrounded by shtark frum good people learning the whole day.
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 14 Nov 2022 19:52 #387714

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80
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 16 Nov 2022 12:13 #387791

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Whatever script has made you decide that frum people will reject you has to be changed buddy. Yes, there are tough members in our society and obviously you have been "burnt". But i am sure that rationally you know that there are many warm caring genuine and welcoming individuals in the most chareidi corners. Try to (cautiously) move on.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 16 Nov 2022 20:43 #387818

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Yes of course I know rationally that Frum people aren't dangerous. 
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 16 Nov 2022 20:45 #387819

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I actually believe Frum people are the safest people in the world.

I wish I can just "tell that' to my mind. Oh well that it doesn't work like that.
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 16 Nov 2022 22:26 #387829

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So let's stop that thought from paralyzing you and inhibiting your ability to receive the available assistance.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Destination - 90 days, A human beings journey. 17 Nov 2022 21:03 #387880

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Its not a thought. Its a feeling. Big difference.

Thoughts are cognitive. We can gain more information that will cause us to see a new narrative and then change our minds about what we think. Feelings on the other hand don't go away until they heal. Even if we understand that the feeling doesn't make sense.  You can look at my recent post on my other thread about healing feelings to understand it better.   Since for years and years and years i saw Frum people as dangerous, simply "realizing" that Frum people aren't dangerous, doesn't change the feeling that is in my brain and body. Its going to take many experiences of safe connection to Frum people to heal that feeling and actually feel safe with Frum people.

So I don't need any more understanding or "chapping" or "changing my thoughts" to develop safety around Frum people. What I need is healing experiences. One of those would be meeting you because you aren't judgmental. Which would be really nice of you because it can start changing the way I feel.

Sorry if I'm lecturing here! I feel a little dumb. here you are trying to help me and I'm lecturing you. thanks so much for following up and staying by my side here. I cant express how much a appreciate it.
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.
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