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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Day 1 165 Views

Day 1 21 Mar 2021 01:12 #365749

  • thetimeisnow!
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Hello everyone, here is a daily update on my progress!

What went well today:
1) I guarded my eyes very carefully
2) I pushed out any immodest thoughts as soon as the YH tried to tempt me
3) Instead of working in my room, I went to the campus library and studied there for most of the day (for those of you wondering, I am still a non-jewish so Shabbat is not a thing for me..yet)

What didn't go well today:
1) Thinking about my past in regards to this struggle made me a little sad earlier in the day, and upset that it has taken me this long, however that has only served to motivate me to crush this once and for all
2) I spent a little too much time napping in the library (I plan on trying to get as much sleep at night as I can in order to have enough energy to get through day)

As I said yesterday, my problems come from spending too much time in my room, and the YH convincing me that wasting seed isn't that bad for non-jews. So, I present to you all the contract I am making with HaShem for a period of ten days:

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Between the Master of the Universe and me:

I swear, on the holy name of HASHEM, that if I have a fall, from now until 12:00 AM April 1st, I will start to do the following within 24 hours of my fall:


  • Run two miles without stopping
  • Talk to a GYE member on the phone for at least 10 minutes
  • Donate $10 to GYE

A fall will consist of:
  • Wasting seed or engaging with any kind of pornographic material

Other fences I am making for myself to control my bad habits:
  • If I purposefully look at or touch my member, I will run one mile in the next 24 hours
  • For every 15 minutes I am in bed between 7:00 AM and 8:00 AM on any given day, I will run half a mile within 24 hours 
  • No phone or computer between the time of 10 PM and the time that I finish my morning prayers and 30 minutes of Torah study in the morning, or else I will run one mile within 24 hours of breaking this rule (only if I am in my room in the morning and in my room at 10, if I need it to get home or for other legitimate torah/school/other reasons that doesn't count)

If I forget about any of the rules on this contract, they will not apply, but the ones that I remember will apply. If I forget a rule's details when I have an urge but remember it exists, I must review the contract at the earliest possible time (if I forget to do that, there will be no punishment). If I forget to do a punishment, then it will be nullified until I remember that I forgot, at which time I will do the punishment as soon as possible.

The punishments in this contract will be void if I completely forget about the contract before falling.

Additionally, If I fall once, and then another time, I must complete the punishment for both. After falling twice and completing the punishment twice, this contract will be void.

Finally, I reserve the right to make additions to this contract in the form of additional restrictions, not removing anything in any way however.

Thank you HASHEM for continuing to help me do Teshuva, I really do want this and the inner thoughts of my mind and heart will show it.

Thank you for everything.

thetimeisnow!

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Hopefully this will do the trick for the next ten days, and I may add a few things if needed along the way. The additional restrictions are to prevent me from getting into a bad situation, or to keep me from sleeping to much, which I tend to do if I stay up too late on my phone. It is said that too much sleep can lead to wasting seed, so that has been something I am working on. If anyone has any suggestions for me, please let me know!

So that is day 1 complete. We've reached base camp, and from here on out the climb will only get harder.

Last Edit: 21 Mar 2021 01:15 by thetimeisnow!.

Re: Day 1 21 Mar 2021 16:39 #365798

HI! Nice to have you as part of our nation! It seems to me that you've really thought a lot about your problem. It looks like a great plan, but I just have one question : What happens if you feel too lazy or tired to punish yourself? What will you do then? Other than that, I think you're definitely ready for your long marathon battle. Literally! 

Re: Day 1 21 Mar 2021 17:12 #365806

  • thetimeisnow!
  • Current streak: 289 days
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Hey! I can't wait to join Well, I haven't been in a situation yet where I've purposefully broken an oath because of fatigue, but I guess thats why its good to not have a fall haha.

Re: Day 1 21 Mar 2021 23:38 #365844

  • thetimeisnow!
  • Current streak: 289 days
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  • Posts: 73
  • Karma: 2
Current streak: 2

What went well today:
1) I watched my eyes well today although I tend to habitually look whenever I see people walking, so I need to fix that. It's just something I do unconsciously.
2) Was able to get myself to leave my room for a large portion of the day.

What didn't go well:
1) I didn't really sleep at all last night because I spent too much time on my computer, so that needs to be fixed. I slept in the middle of the day because of it and thats not the best situation to be in.
2) I spent too much time on youtube watching nonsense, its really a waste of time so I need to be better about that as well.
3) Because I was so tired I hardly had energy to study much Torah today, so I hope to be able to correct that in the future.

Baruch HaShem for two days clean, every day is a blessing.

Starting from base camp (17,900 ft), I am now at an altitude of 18,146 feet and have just over 11,000 feet to go to reach the summit (about 123 ft per day). See you all at the top!
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