Welcome, Guest
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Square one 13743 Views

Re: Square one 04 Jul 2021 13:58 #370455

  • BeVeryStrong
  • Current streak: 70 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Junior Boarder
  • Posts: 31
  • Karma: 5
I'm not really sure how to advice you. I'm new here myself 
Stay strong. Maybe do ssomethings else instead of learning so you get distracted 
WWe're all with you. Keep strong and bring us good news. Remember it's only today. Tomorrow is another day

BeVeryStrong 

Re: Square one 04 Jul 2021 14:44 #370458

  • DavidT
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1344
  • Karma: 92
Looking_to_improve wrote on 04 Jul 2021 13:55:
I'm feeling some desire now to masturbate. I'm learning on my own this afternoon, but can't really focus, and these thoughts are coming into my head and distracting me 

There is a saying "Don't go in your head alone. It's a dangerous neighborhood" 

Remember that we are here together and Hashem is always with you as well... so you're never alone and you can and you will win!

Please keep us posted so we can keep on getting inspired by your amazing journey! 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Square one 04 Jul 2021 17:40 #370473

  • excellence
  • Current streak: 73 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 317
  • Karma: 14
Perhaps think how happy you will be when you look back tomorrow and see how amazed you are with yourself, and what you managed to achieve in a generation like ours.....

You can do it.... if not for your sake then at least for all of us here at GYE 

Re: Square one 04 Jul 2021 21:57 #370481

Day 80
Clean bH, but it's been one of the hard days kn a while. Still feeling some desire now as I go to sleep

Re: Square one 05 Jul 2021 02:27 #370491

  • Zz613
  • Current streak: 4 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Junior Boarder
  • Posts: 25
  • Karma: 2
Right now I'm at 50, you're at 80
Hopefully I'll never catch you up!

The goings hard, but let's remember that we can live without this, and continue our lives happily in other pursuits.

חזק ואמץ!!

From a brother in the boat

Re: Square one 05 Jul 2021 11:38 #370499

Please let me know your thoughts and suggestions

Update to my current situation:

I'm holding at day 80 (for the first time BH). I'm headed home from yeshiva on day 89(next Tuesday). I want to make sure I'm prepared when I do. 

Challenges:
1) There are unfiltered devices at home, I will have a lot of free time at home
2) I'm leaving a sheltered yeshiva environment (there's no sems nearby... It's very sheltered), and I'm going back to a regular community, where I will have family friends round for lunch etc. This sort of thing made my masturbation struggle hard for a while. (I'm not so concerned that I'll be hanging out with girls, although I might have to avoid certain events)
3)(Not so much on my radar, and less of a concern, but it's coming up in a few months nonetheless) I'm going to be in a secular environment next year

My goals(short/mid term)
1) Make it to shabbos at home, clean
2) Make it to day 100 clean
3) Make it to July 31st clean
4) Make it to motsei Yom Kippur clean (might need some intermediate goals before this)

My plan (a work in progress)
1) I'm currently set a goal with a mentor for day 100, and I get a reward if I stay clean until then
2) I'm part of the challenge on the forum, I have to pay ~$70(I need to double check what I signed up for) if I act out before July 31st
3) Possibly setting a goal to not use unfiltered devices at home, and paying a knas if I do. I'm not sure how realistic this is for me, and if I'll be able to keep to it. I'm considering making it no mobile devices that I can take to the bathroom.
4) Plan out my days well. I have a lot of learning to do over the summer, but not sure how much of a break I'll need. I need to prepare for university, and also I want to catch up with the exercise I've been neglecting in yeshiva

The plans seems very monetary based. I'm not sure if this is the best idea, I don't have source of income, and also I don't know how much I'm going to change myself, if I just looking at the bottom line, I don't want to become numb to monetary goals. I'm not sure if I've described this well, but I think guys have struggled with this on the forum before. 

Accountability
I think I'll continue writing on the forum. I don't know if I'll gradually wind down
I'm in contact daily by email with a mentor.
I'm in contact with a guy from gye every day or 2 by message.
I spoke to a friend in person about this struggle, I might speak to him soon if I'm holding in a good place.

Re: Square one 05 Jul 2021 12:25 #370500

  • excellence
  • Current streak: 73 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 317
  • Karma: 14
Your clarity of mind is incredible. We all wish many were like you. People like you are going to be on front lines to greet Moshiach. 

Re: Square one 05 Jul 2021 14:58 #370506

  • eyes
  • Current streak: 100 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 295
  • Karma: 31
Looking_to_improve wrote on 05 Jul 2021 11:38:
Please let me know your thoughts and suggestions

Update to my current situation:

I'm holding at day 80 (for the first time BH). I'm headed home from yeshiva on day 89(next Tuesday). I want to make sure I'm prepared when I do. 

Challenges:
1) There are unfiltered devices at home, I will have a lot of free time at home
2) I'm leaving a sheltered yeshiva environment (there's no sems nearby... It's very sheltered), and I'm going back to a regular community, where I will have family friends round for lunch etc. This sort of thing made my masturbation struggle hard for a while. (I'm not so concerned that I'll be hanging out with girls, although I might have to avoid certain events)
3)(Not so much on my radar, and less of a concern, but it's coming up in a few months nonetheless) I'm going to be in a secular environment next year

My goals(short/mid term)
1) Make it to shabbos at home, clean
2) Make it to day 100 clean
3) Make it to July 31st clean
4) Make it to motsei Yom Kippur clean (might need some intermediate goals before this)

My plan (a work in progress)
1) I'm currently set a goal with a mentor for day 100, and I get a reward if I stay clean until then
2) I'm part of the challenge on the forum, I have to pay ~$70(I need to double check what I signed up for) if I act out before July 31st
3) Possibly setting a goal to not use unfiltered devices at home, and paying a knas if I do. I'm not sure how realistic this is for me, and if I'll be able to keep to it. I'm considering making it no mobile devices that I can take to the bathroom.
4) Plan out my days well. I have a lot of learning to do over the summer, but not sure how much of a break I'll need. I need to prepare for university, and also I want to catch up with the exercise I've been neglecting in yeshiva

The plans seems very monetary based. I'm not sure if this is the best idea, I don't have source of income, and also I don't know how much I'm going to change myself, if I just looking at the bottom line, I don't want to become numb to monetary goals. I'm not sure if I've described this well, but I think guys have struggled with this on the forum before. 

Accountability
I think I'll continue writing on the forum. I don't know if I'll gradually wind down
I'm in contact daily by email with a mentor.
I'm in contact with a guy from gye every day or 2 by message.
I spoke to a friend in person about this struggle, I might speak to him soon if I'm holding in a good place.

Dear LTI,
​I am totally mesmerized by your commitment and wanting to keep clean.
You mentioned that you will be going to university in a secular environment. As, I have gone to college and universities both before and after I got married I would like to suggest to you the following.
1. It is important to know where your classes are. meaning if you know where you are going the you won't have an issue looking at people or things on your way.
2. Not sure what your major is, but in many classes part of the class is group work. I always tried making groups with males if possible. Sometimes, it cant be done. 
3. try to make gedarim around yourself. Like I would do my best not sit next to girls. I also would sit in the front row. I would ask lots of questions. Because of that I would also answer lots of questions which made me look smart. Lots of students asked me questions.  Which I answered. 
4. Know what season it is. I dont know where you live, or where you are going to university, but now that it is the summer and you will be going in the fall. it will still be hot outside and many women will still be dressing in their summer attire. BTW, on university campuses people tend to dress less classy, so over the year people still might wear whatever they want.
5. Not sure which campus you are going to, but there will for sure be a Chabad or Hillel or both on your campus. Get to know the rabbi's

Being in a secular environment is tough. It could also be full of triggers, but I could tell you one thing. if you need to be there, it be very rewarding in shmiras einayim.
Just to let you in on a secret. Whenever I was careful in my shmiras eynayim/ bris I did extremely well in my courses. Whenever I wasnt, I did poorly.

You could PM me for more if you want.

Hatzalcha
Eyes

Re: Square one 05 Jul 2021 16:29 #370507

Thank you very much
I'm gonna be living from home, so I'm still going to have a lot of friends in my community to be surrounded by

Re: Square one 05 Jul 2021 17:09 #370509

Looking_to_improve wrote on 05 Jul 2021 11:38:
Please let me know your thoughts and suggestions

Update to my current situation:

I'm holding at day 80 (for the first time BH). I'm headed home from yeshiva on day 89(next Tuesday). I want to make sure I'm prepared when I do. 

Challenges:
1) There are unfiltered devices at home, I will have a lot of free time at home
2) I'm leaving a sheltered yeshiva environment (there's no sems nearby... It's very sheltered), and I'm going back to a regular community, where I will have family friends round for lunch etc. This sort of thing made my masturbation struggle hard for a while. (I'm not so concerned that I'll be hanging out with girls, although I might have to avoid certain events)
3)(Not so much on my radar, and less of a concern, but it's coming up in a few months nonetheless) I'm going to be in a secular environment next year

My goals(short/mid term)
1) Make it to shabbos at home, clean
2) Make it to day 100 clean
3) Make it to July 31st clean
4) Make it to motsei Yom Kippur clean (might need some intermediate goals before this)

My plan (a work in progress)
1) I'm currently set a goal with a mentor for day 100, and I get a reward if I stay clean until then
2) I'm part of the challenge on the forum, I have to pay ~$70(I need to double check what I signed up for) if I act out before July 31st
3) Possibly setting a goal to not use unfiltered devices at home, and paying a knas if I do. I'm not sure how realistic this is for me, and if I'll be able to keep to it. I'm considering making it no mobile devices that I can take to the bathroom.
4) Plan out my days well. I have a lot of learning to do over the summer, but not sure how much of a break I'll need. I need to prepare for university, and also I want to catch up with the exercise I've been neglecting in yeshiva

The plans seems very monetary based. I'm not sure if this is the best idea, I don't have source of income, and also I don't know how much I'm going to change myself, if I just looking at the bottom line, I don't want to become numb to monetary goals. I'm not sure if I've described this well, but I think guys have struggled with this on the forum before. 

Accountability
I think I'll continue writing on the forum. I don't know if I'll gradually wind down
I'm in contact daily by email with a mentor.
I'm in contact with a guy from gye every day or 2 by message.
I spoke to a friend in person about this struggle, I might speak to him soon if I'm holding in a good place.

It's 'easy' to write a long post like this during my break, but I don't really think I'm gonna be able to stay clean. I'm doubting myself that I'll be able to do it

Re: Square one 05 Jul 2021 21:45 #370515

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 2174 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3311
I think that was the yetzer hara speaking......
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Square one 05 Jul 2021 21:50 #370517

  • excellence
  • Current streak: 73 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 317
  • Karma: 14
Hashem Help Me wrote on 05 Jul 2021 21:45:
I think that was the yetzer hara speaking......

i KNOW it was!

Re: Square one 05 Jul 2021 22:29 #370519

  • YeshivaGuy
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1403
  • Karma: 125
My dear friend, I’m so happy for you that you’ve made it to 80 days clean. Such a tremendous accomplishment!
I would recommend celebrating day 88/89 before you return home and use it for hischazkus.
And then do smaller goals when home, like getting to day 90, then celebrating etc.

Something to consider is making a rule to not use any unfiltered device and if u need to for some reason you’ll text/WhatsApp a GYE guy first and tell him when ur finished.

Im so happy for you that you spoke with a friend in person about this.
You’re a true Ben Torah and Ben Aliya.

With much admiration and love,

 YeshivaGuy 

Re: Square one 05 Jul 2021 22:57 #370522

excellence wrote on 05 Jul 2021 21:50:

Hashem Help Me wrote on 05 Jul 2021 21:45:
I think that was the yetzer hara speaking......

i KNOW it was!

Thank you, I appreciate your positive comments
I have to disagree, I don't want to be overly optimistic, because of my ignorance of where I'm holding. I think I'm being realistic/ maybe a bit pessimistic, but not ignorant of myself.

Re: Square one 06 Jul 2021 05:32 #370526

I searched up some stuff last night, but BH didn't masturbate. I'm calling it a slip.
Time to create page: 0.66 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes