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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Square one 13340 Views

Re: Square one 23 Jun 2021 15:07 #370122

  • Ish MiGrodno
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....Don't feel particularly confident in myself, despite being clean for this long.

הלל אומר ...ואל תאמן בעצמך עד יום מותך,  ואל תדין את חברך עד שתגיע למקומו

Chazon Ish, R' Shimon Shkop, etc. are all recipients of Hillel's  mandate to remain humble and cautious. On GYE we are ALL respectful of his latter statement to maintain respect and awe of our fellows and their struggles.

Keep up the awesome work, my dear and esteemed friend.

Ish

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
jackz90dys@gmail.com

Re: Square one 23 Jun 2021 15:56 #370123

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Grant400 wrote on 23 Jun 2021 14:53:

Looking_to_improve wrote on 22 Jun 2021 21:06:
Don't feel particularly confident in myself, despite being clean for this long.

Sometimes the difference between being confident or not is simply a decision. If we can legitimately tell ourselves that we are absolutely done with this, and we aren't vacillating and trying to hang un there...this can be the final clincher.

A firm decision removes half the fight.

Can you say with complete conviction - I am ready to give up this stupidity for life?

I would love to say yes, but I know I'm not there yet. I'm going home from yeshiva in ~ 3 weeks and I know that the battle won't be the same one I've had in yeshiva. I think I'll be in different environments, amongst different people, and probably have access to different devices, so my success in a sheltered yeshiva environment, with access to only one devices which is (finally) filtered properly, won't necessarily translate over.

Re: Square one 23 Jun 2021 21:44 #370130

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Day 69
Clean bH
Into uncharted territory now...
Last Edit: 23 Jun 2021 21:46 by Looking_to_improve.

Re: Square one 24 Jun 2021 00:51 #370135

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First of all I get a lot of chizuk from you in general...
You have probably heard this a hundred times before but...
Try going back to your first posts and see how far you have come, you can probably give yourself more chizuk than anyone else here can.

That being said... and everything everyone else said here is very true...

By me personally when I feel that I am "losing confidence", for me what it really means is that I'm looking over my shoulder in fear that 'IT' will catch up to me. 'I have come so far', now the fear of failure starts coming back..
'can I really do it?'
'Am I going too fast?'
'Am I going to crash?' etc...

These thoughts are all garbage.

COMPLETE GARBAGE.

Because now you have a plan and you are NOT groping in the dark.
Because now you have support.
Because now YOU have committed yourself.

As long as you can be confident in your efforts and in your plan, you will be fine. And of course always remember the golden rule of taking every day, one day at a time (and don't get caught up in the numbers especially if the numbers are what scares you...) 
Hope for the best Prepare for the worst

Re: Square one 24 Jun 2021 21:27 #370164

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Day 70
10 weeks clean bH

Re: Square one 27 Jun 2021 20:58 #370261

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Day 73
Clean bH 

Re: Square one 28 Jun 2021 21:13 #370300

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Day 74
Clean bH 

Re: Square one 28 Jun 2021 22:38 #370304

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Truly Incredible.

Re: Square one 29 Jun 2021 20:52 #370345

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Day 75
Clean bH
Last Edit: 29 Jun 2021 21:00 by Looking_to_improve.

Re: Square one 30 Jun 2021 20:59 #370369

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Day 76
Clean bH

Re: Square one 01 Jul 2021 22:09 #370414

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Day 77
11 weeks clean bH

Re: Square one 01 Jul 2021 22:12 #370415

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Looking_to_improve wrote on 01 Jul 2021 22:09:
Day 77
11 weeks clean bH

Mazel Tov! Stay strong and bring Hashem Nachas! Be a model for us

Re: Square one 03 Jul 2021 19:59 #370443

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Day 79 
Clean bH

Re: Square one 04 Jul 2021 03:49 #370447

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Hey!
Just wanted to tell you that I've been watching your thread for a while and you are really amazing!!
Keep it up!
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Square one 04 Jul 2021 13:55 #370454

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I'm feeling some desire now to masturbate. I'm learning on my own this afternoon, but can't really focus, and these thoughts are coming into my head and distracting me 
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