Day 2

Feeling weak. Slipped a bit. Want to go all out, but I remember the empty feeling that follows. Unfortunately it is not a distant memory...

The struggle is endless. The tayva never goes away...

Maybe try GYE's flight to freedom guardyoureyes.com/news/item/best-gye-news-of-2021-flight-to-freedom

Day 1 (again...)

best of luck 

Day 2

Had a close call in the shower. Pulled through at the last minute. BH.

You really are impressive.
I know you don’t have a super “long streak.”
But your resilience and resolve in the face of adversity and such profound challenges, is truly inspiring.

You will get past this. Just be patient with yourself. You are a good person, an aspiring Eved (Oived?) Hashem (Elokim?).

Keep shteiging. Keep moving forward. Keep being Mekadeish Sheim Shamayim.
And, don’t forget to smile.

With much admiration,

 YeshivaGuy 

Day 3

Staying busy, BH

Day 5

Keep it up!!!! 

Day 7

Today was easy, BH. 

After reaching 7 days for the first time in a few weeks, I fell late last night.

Brushing myself off, lifting my head high and marching forward…

Day 5

Feeling weak now…

Can I ask you hold off for  gershon ben chaya riva (not me)? You and we all know that as impossible as it feels now, it will get better. It's like breaking a fever. It gets real bad, and once you push past, it goes down. Find any reason to go on just a little longer, however weak or selfish or whatever you think it is. It does get easier. 

OivedElokim wrote on 26 Jul 2021 06:15:

When we feel weakness, we need to acknowledge that without the help of Hashem we are powerless over lust. Once we recognize this, we have no choice but to surrender lusting altogether. And this becomes our greatest strength because the Yetzer Hara's strongest tool to getting us to stumble is to try to get us to lose our connection with Hashem.

Also, when feeling weak we can tell ourselves, “just for today, I will stay clean.” “Just for this moment, I will stay clean.” The past and the future are out of our hands and belong only to Hashem. When we feel that we are about to fall, we may even tell ourselves that we reserve the right to act out tomorrow. We are not making a decision now for life. However, just for today we will do whatever we can to stay clean.

Teshuva is only relevant inasmuch as it affects today's avodah. The Chovos Hal'vavos says (right at the start of sha'ar hateshuvah), that the definition of Teshuvah is behaving correctly right now, even though we have messed up badly in the past. It is not about fixing anything. (It’s Hashem’s business tofix us, not ours).

So remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life! So let’s do our very best to stay clean just for today.

Been falling a lot over the last two days. 

I don’t have a concrete staying clean plan for staying clean. Nonetheless I am determined to remain clean for the next 24 hours. I cannot say no today for tomorrow, but I can say no today for today. ODAAT. I don’t know if I’ll see success long term, but that’s not my concern right now.