OivedElokim wrote on 26 Jul 2021 06:15:
Day 5
Feeling weak now…
When we feel weakness, we need to acknowledge that without the help of Hashem we are powerless over lust. Once we recognize this, we have no choice but to surrender lusting altogether. And this becomes our greatest strength because the Yetzer Hara's strongest tool to getting us to stumble is to try to get us to lose our connection with Hashem.
Also, when feeling weak we can tell ourselves, “just for today, I will stay clean.” “Just for
this moment, I will stay clean.” The past and the future are out of our hands and belong
only to Hashem. When we feel that we are about to fall, we may even tell ourselves that we reserve the right to act out tomorrow. We are not making a decision now for life. However, just for today we will do whatever we can to stay clean.
Teshuva is only relevant inasmuch as it affects today's avodah. The Chovos Hal'vavos says (right at the start of sha'ar hateshuvah), that the definition of Teshuvah is behaving correctly right now, even though we have messed up badly in the past. It is not about fixing anything. (It’s Hashem’s business tofix us, not ours).
So remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life! So let’s do our very best to stay clean just for today.