Welcome, Guest

OivedElokim-I’ll never give up
(0 viewing) 
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 14141 Views

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 12 Apr 2022 13:27 #379901

  • Hakolhevel
  • Current streak: 18 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 628
  • Karma: 44
OivedElokim wrote on 12 Apr 2022 00:33:
Long story short, I fell on Thursday. I wasn't very motivated and I saw something that turned me on. Because I lost my momentum, I've masturbated every day since and am now ready to hit the reset button.

I'm very proud of my 6 and a half clean days, which in the last few months I deemed impossible. 

My plan going forward is frequent accountability (daily to my mentor, as well as here-as often as possible), and hopefully I'll find the strength within to use my plan (calling partners/distraction) when things get tough.

You said your issue was motivation, then your plan calls for more accountability and hoping you will find the strength within to follow thru. Something doesn't make sense to me.

If your issue is motivation, then start there.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 12 Apr 2022 18:09 #379923

  • OivedElokim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 542
  • Karma: 62
Thanks for pointing that out. I'm honestly not sure about my motivation. It comes and goes. I need to figure something out in that regard.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 06 May 2022 02:21 #380462

  • OivedElokim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 542
  • Karma: 62
Hey guys, it's been awhile. Just want to post a quick update:
I've been doing great avoiding porn (over two months, BH)-thanks to good filters and WebChaver, but haven't made much progress in curtailing my masturbation habits. I can't fathom the thought of giving it up. It does so much for me, soothes a lot of pain. 

That's it. No real plan going forward, just gonna keep staying away from porn and that'll be it. 
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 06 May 2022 14:42 #380483

  • connected
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 139
  • Karma: 18
OivedElokim wrote on 06 May 2022 02:21:
Hey guys, it's been awhile. Just want to post a quick update:
I've been doing great avoiding porn (over two months, BH)-thanks to good filters and WebChaver, but haven't made much progress in curtailing my masturbation habits. I can't fathom the thought of giving it up. It does so much for me, soothes a lot of pain. 

That's it. No real plan going forward, just gonna keep staying away from porn and that'll be it. 

Hey, OivedElokim,
It's incredible that even though you find it nearly impossible to give up masturbation, that doesn't keep you from fighting against porn. A true Oived Elokim!

You grab what you can!

Kol Hakavod!
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.


My journey to ninety days and beyond
Thoughts and reflections

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 13 May 2022 03:05 #380682

  • OivedElokim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 542
  • Karma: 62
Hey guys,
Today was my 70th day clean from porn, BH. Ordered sushi to celebrate.

It's also the day I'm starting to take quitting masturbation seriously.
I made up to go out to eat with a GYE friend if I make it to 10 days, hope that'll help motivate me.

Wish me luck.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 13 May 2022 03:15 #380683

  • eyes
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 265
  • Karma: 30
Mazel tov

may you see more good news

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 13 May 2022 03:19 #380684

That is awesome! Excited to hear more about the continuing journey

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 15 May 2022 05:58 #380722

  • Ish MiGrodno
  • Current streak: 622 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 446
  • Karma: 33
Wow, amazing!

​Was feeling down since Shabbos...till this news mamash lit up the Grodnian night!

(Been following your journey over the past couple years - glad to see that B"H your hard work is now being rewarded...I hereby give you reshus to add some bourbon to your sushi splurge)

Rootin' you on, bro.

img

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
jackz90dys@gmail.com

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 17 May 2022 02:59 #380799

  • OivedElokim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 542
  • Karma: 62
Thank you IMG for your kind words. I'm thrilled that you finally found it befitting to post on my humble thread. I am honored!
In other news, my quitting M efforts are going very poorly so far.  
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 17 May 2022 03:07 #380801

  • Vehkam
  • Current streak: 252 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 483
  • Karma: 120
have you tried quitting just for one day a week? e.g. just shabbos?
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 17 May 2022 06:17 #380807

  • Ish MiGrodno
  • Current streak: 622 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 446
  • Karma: 33
Rabbeinu O.E. Shlit"a,

Are you able to clearly articulate why quitting masturbation is so much more difficult than porn? As you conceptualize the differences between P&M (e.g., the differing functions that they serve in addressing your anxiety, etc.), as well as some similarities and overlapping areas, perhaps you may find the ability to apply success from one area into the other.

(My apologies if I sound overly analytical, but what I'm trying to get at is that introspection - especially through journaling - may help you take it to a whole next level)

On a personal level, I spent decades falling, while remaining pathetically clueless regarding how P&M were a cyclical tag team to dull my anxiety. After HHM taught me that yetzer has been perennially tricking me, my life very quickly changed for the better B"H!

img

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
jackz90dys@gmail.com

Last Edit: 17 May 2022 06:18 by Ish MiGrodno.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 17 May 2022 12:20 #380816

  • 5Uu80*cdwB#^
  • Current streak: 341 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 125
Ish MiGrodno wrote on 17 May 2022 06:17:
Rabbeinu O.E. Shlit"a,

Are you able to clearly articulate why quitting masturbation is so much more difficult than porn? As you conceptualize the differences between P&M (e.g., the differing functions that they serve in addressing your anxiety, etc.), as well as some similarities and overlapping areas, perhaps you may find the ability to apply success from one area into the other.

(My apologies if I sound overly analytical, but what I'm trying to get at is that introspection - especially through journaling - may help you take it to a whole next level)

On a personal level, I spent decades falling, while remaining pathetically clueless regarding how P&M were a cyclical tag team to dull my anxiety. After HHM taught me that yetzer has been perennially tricking me, my life very quickly changed for the better B"H!

img

The reason that many people are able to stop watching porn but still struggle indefinitely with masturbating is because they don't realize they are still fantasizing about what they have seen in the past, often very specific scenes or images, even though they aren't watching it anymore. Without realizing that fantasizing is at the root of every masturbation, there is, לפי עניות דעתי, no hope. So, quitting porn is step 1. Step 2 is realizing that fantasizing is the cause of the endless battle to masturbate, and that must be addressed if you will break free of masturbation. The solution to fantasizing: spend your mental energy on learning, davening, making an honest parnassah, chesed, i.e., MITZVOS! Simply MOVE ON from unwanted thoughts and do NOT attend to them! They will wane with time, b'ezras Hashem. I can attest to this.
Hatzlocha.
As long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

As
long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

As
long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 17 May 2022 17:19 #380821

  • OivedElokim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 542
  • Karma: 62
Thank you all for your words of advice and support.

In other news, on my 75th day clean from porn, I watched it again. It was preceded by an accidental slip that I foolishly decided to count as a fall. The result was the "what the heck?" effect that led to my fall today.

But I don't feel like a failure for the following reason: Going from falling multiple times a week (a half a year ago) at least twice a month (3 months ago) to once in three (this time) is a massive accomplishment. I view this not as a defining defeat but as a minor bump in the road towards complete freedom from porn. I think that is a more helpful-and correct-attitude then the typical "I am terrible and I'll never be porn free" approach.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 
Last Edit: 17 May 2022 17:21 by OivedElokim.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 17 May 2022 17:54 #380826

  • Vehkam
  • Current streak: 252 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 483
  • Karma: 120
Please remember that the greatest growth can come from how you respond to a fall. Capitalize on that!!

It goes without saying that you should be celebrating how far you have come….
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 18 May 2022 04:30 #380855

  • YeshivaGuy
  • Current streak: 8 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1338
  • Karma: 117
Ish MiGrodno wrote on 17 May 2022 06:17:
Rabbeinu O.E. Shlit"a,

Are you able to clearly articulate why quitting masturbation is so much more difficult than porn? As you conceptualize the differences between P&M (e.g., the differing functions that they serve in addressing your anxiety, etc.), as well as some similarities and overlapping areas, perhaps you may find the ability to apply success from one area into the other.

(My apologies if I sound overly analytical, but what I'm trying to get at is that introspection - especially through journaling - may help you take it to a whole next level)

On a personal level, I spent decades falling, while remaining pathetically clueless regarding how P&M were a cyclical tag team to dull my anxiety. After HHM taught me that yetzer has been perennially tricking me, my life very quickly changed for the better B"H!

img

My experience has been that Masterbating is far harder to stop than Porn.
The reason for myself and I suspect for others as well, is because I can separate from the internet but I can’t separate myself from my own self.

Additionaly, I’ve found that p’gam habris leaves me feeling fundamentally broken, whereas being nichshal in shmiras eynayim feels like an external force has been brought into me and contaminated me.
So pgam habris is a p’gam “meenay u’bay.”

Conversely, the taiva for masterbating is the taiva for Me  to do something, to send from my very guf (sorry for the graphic), it stems from within myself.
Whereas the taiva for pornography is the ratzon to be מכניס something that is b’etzem חיצוני, outside of my Self, and to bring it into my domain.

Maybe this is why it’s called Yesod, but
אין לי עסק בנסתרות.

Just some haaros on the topic.

YeahivaGuy
Last Edit: 18 May 2022 04:34 by YeshivaGuy.
Time to create page: 0.66 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes