OivedElokim wrote on 12 Apr 2022 00:33:

You said your issue was motivation, then your plan calls for more accountability and hoping you will find the strength within to follow thru. Something doesn't make sense to me.

If your issue is motivation, then start there.

Thanks for pointing that out. I'm honestly not sure about my motivation. It comes and goes. I need to figure something out in that regard.

Hey guys, it's been awhile. Just want to post a quick update:
I've been doing great avoiding porn (over two months, BH)-thanks to good filters and WebChaver, but haven't made much progress in curtailing my masturbation habits. I can't fathom the thought of giving it up. It does so much for me, soothes a lot of pain. 

That's it. No real plan going forward, just gonna keep staying away from porn and that'll be it. 

OivedElokim wrote on 06 May 2022 02:21:

Hey, OivedElokim,
It's incredible that even though you find it nearly impossible to give up masturbation, that doesn't keep you from fighting against porn. A true Oived Elokim!

You grab what you can!

Kol Hakavod!

Hey guys,
Today was my 70th day clean from porn, BH. Ordered sushi to celebrate.

It's also the day I'm starting to take quitting masturbation seriously.
I made up to go out to eat with a GYE friend if I make it to 10 days, hope that'll help motivate me.

Wish me luck.

Mazel tov

may you see more good news

That is awesome! Excited to hear more about the continuing journey

Wow, amazing!

​Was feeling down since Shabbos...till this news mamash lit up the Grodnian night!

(Been following your journey over the past couple years - glad to see that B"H your hard work is now being rewarded...I hereby give you reshus to add some bourbon to your sushi splurge)

Rootin' you on, bro.

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Thank you IMG for your kind words. I'm thrilled that you finally found it befitting to post on my humble thread. I am honored!
In other news, my quitting M efforts are going very poorly so far.  

have you tried quitting just for one day a week? e.g. just shabbos?

Rabbeinu O.E. Shlit"a,

Are you able to clearly articulate why quitting masturbation is so much more difficult than porn? As you conceptualize the differences between P&M (e.g., the differing functions that they serve in addressing your anxiety, etc.), as well as some similarities and overlapping areas, perhaps you may find the ability to apply success from one area into the other.

(My apologies if I sound overly analytical, but what I'm trying to get at is that introspection - especially through journaling - may help you take it to a whole next level)

On a personal level, I spent decades falling, while remaining pathetically clueless regarding how P&M were a cyclical tag team to dull my anxiety. After HHM taught me that yetzer has been perennially tricking me, my life very quickly changed for the better B"H!

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Ish MiGrodno wrote on 17 May 2022 06:17:

The reason that many people are able to stop watching porn but still struggle indefinitely with masturbating is because they don't realize they are still fantasizing about what they have seen in the past, often very specific scenes or images, even though they aren't watching it anymore. Without realizing that fantasizing is at the root of every masturbation, there is, לפי עניות דעתי, no hope. So, quitting porn is step 1. Step 2 is realizing that fantasizing is the cause of the endless battle to masturbate, and that must be addressed if you will break free of masturbation. The solution to fantasizing: spend your mental energy on learning, davening, making an honest parnassah, chesed, i.e., MITZVOS! Simply MOVE ON from unwanted thoughts and do NOT attend to them! They will wane with time, b'ezras Hashem. I can attest to this.
Hatzlocha.

Thank you all for your words of advice and support.

In other news, on my 75th day clean from porn, I watched it again. It was preceded by an accidental slip that I foolishly decided to count as a fall. The result was the "what the heck?" effect that led to my fall today.

But I don't feel like a failure for the following reason: Going from falling multiple times a week (a half a year ago) at least twice a month (3 months ago) to once in three (this time) is a massive accomplishment. I view this not as a defining defeat but as a minor bump in the road towards complete freedom from porn. I think that is a more helpful-and correct-attitude then the typical "I am terrible and I'll never be porn free" approach.

Please remember that the greatest growth can come from how you respond to a fall. Capitalize on that!!

It goes without saying that you should be celebrating how far you have come….

Ish MiGrodno wrote on 17 May 2022 06:17:

My experience has been that Masterbating is far harder to stop than Porn.
The reason for myself and I suspect for others as well, is because I can separate from the internet but I can’t separate myself from my own self.

Additionaly, I’ve found that p’gam habris leaves me feeling fundamentally broken, whereas being nichshal in shmiras eynayim feels like an external force has been brought into me and contaminated me.
So pgam habris is a p’gam “meenay u’bay.”

Conversely, the taiva for masterbating is the taiva for Me  to do something, to send from my very guf (sorry for the graphic), it stems from within myself.
Whereas the taiva for pornography is the ratzon to be מכניס something that is b’etzem חיצוני, outside of my Self, and to bring it into my domain.

Maybe this is why it’s called Yesod, but
אין לי עסק בנסתרות.

Just some haaros on the topic.

YeahivaGuy