Welcome, Guest

OivedElokim-I’ll never give up
(0 viewing) 
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 14096 Views

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 28 Feb 2022 15:02 #377948

Do you know if you can use the covenanteyes browser app with the gentech filter installed? Do you also know if you can use apple screentime features in conjunction with gentech? 

I'm just curious because I'm interested in finding out whether or not you can use apple screentime to block safari and to have the covenanteyes browser as the only browser you have. It sounds like you had your issue fixed already (and for the record I don't use gentech) but I'm just curious in knowing because it's an extra layer of protection that those with gentech can get for themselves if it works. And if you're interested in trying this look below in my signature to see how you can get webchaver for free thorugh venishmartem and let me know how it goes.
FOR FREE FILTERS AND ACCOUNTABILITY SOLUTIONS CLICK HERE
(Includes WebChaver/CovenantEyes, Microsoft Family Safety, and Apple
Screentime
and a how-to guide to set them up without loopholes)  

Even if you already have a filter, these are necessary additions because
they fix many loopholes that exist with paid filters (speaking from firsthand
experience) and because they add priceless accountability features.

If you have trouble filtering a shared device, then see the post for how
to get these filters discreetly, without any other users' knowledge whatsoever
and without the filters affecting the other users of the device at all.
Last Edit: 28 Feb 2022 19:27 by ליוסף הצדיק.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 01 Mar 2022 23:07 #378016

  • OivedElokim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 542
  • Karma: 62
Day 1

Having a mediocre day. Woke up in time for my job, learned with some chavrusa's, and now I'm procrastinating. According to my schedule I'm supposed to be learning bekius now by myself, but I've been slacking off a bit lately as I'm not really accountable to anybody.

Last night I was really regretting blocking and deleting the photos of voluptuous women from my devices. I didn't have my usual, nightly release that I'm used to getting from masturbation. But life is about choices, and I chose the path of staying clean. Or did I? Apparently I'm in the contemplation stage...

@BHTYH
I do use Apple screentime in conjunction with GenTech. I didn't block Safari as the GenTech browser is really slow. I don't even know why I need Webchaver at this point as my filter is very good. I occasionally use the CE browser but usually not.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 
Last Edit: 01 Mar 2022 23:07 by OivedElokim.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 01 Mar 2022 23:36 #378018

I see, I didn't know they had their own browser. I'm not familiar with gentech at all but thanks for letting me know. And you're right, you don't need to get it all, the skin filtering sounds more than good enough. 
FOR FREE FILTERS AND ACCOUNTABILITY SOLUTIONS CLICK HERE
(Includes WebChaver/CovenantEyes, Microsoft Family Safety, and Apple
Screentime
and a how-to guide to set them up without loopholes)  

Even if you already have a filter, these are necessary additions because
they fix many loopholes that exist with paid filters (speaking from firsthand
experience) and because they add priceless accountability features.

If you have trouble filtering a shared device, then see the post for how
to get these filters discreetly, without any other users' knowledge whatsoever
and without the filters affecting the other users of the device at all.
Last Edit: 01 Mar 2022 23:39 by ליוסף הצדיק.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 02 Mar 2022 01:20 #378021

  • Hakolhevel
  • Current streak: 18 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 628
  • Karma: 44
wilnevergiveup wrote on 28 Feb 2022 07:41:
Wow, that is a great question! I ask myself that all the time. When I first came here I hit in the 30's then 60's then 100 and 200. Why cant I scrape together more than a week without masturbating? 

Have you taken a look at the flight2freedom program? In there it discusses the "stages of change" model (it's very famous, GYE didn't make it up). I found it helpful to try to figure out which stage I am really in. Because we cycle through the stages, meaning that we can go through them multiple times, often the reason why what worked in the past is not working now is because we are recycling through the stages. 

For example, when I first came to GYE, I was already in the third stage, the planning stage. I knew I wanted to change and I was motivated. I made a plan and then I was in the fourth stage, action. I was clean for most of a year which some would say put me in the last stage, maintenance. 

For a long time, I have been "doing what I know works for me" but wonder of wonders, it stopped working. It took a while to realize that I was not in the maintenance stage anymore. after making a proper cheshbon, I realized that I was really back in contemplation. This means that it wasn't the plan that was failing, it was my motivation. For one reason or another, it just wasn't as clear to me that I wanted to change as it was when I first started.

Since then, I've recycled a few more times. I've had moments of motivation and in those moments, recreated my plan using the F2F program. My plan works well when I am actually in the action stage but it doesn't work when I am really in contemplation.

In summary, if you are anything like me, my plan is a working one, it's the desire to change that I struggle with. For you it might be something else, maybe your plan needs tweaking, maybe you are putting yourself at risk too often, I don't really know your situation but I think it's worthwhile to figure out exactly where you are going wrong. 

Motivation is the foundation that this whole house is built on. The tools are just like the bricks, but first we need to work on the foundation. 

Afterwards, we can work on using the tools so that we are building smartly and not wasting our energy. Fighting hard and not using the right tools might be another cause for burning out. 

As always, I am just sharing what I found on my journey, take it or leave it. 

Great Great post.  Maybe the greatest post ever (sorry to get political)

No really awesome post. Thanks!
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 03 Mar 2022 01:25 #378078

  • OivedElokim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 542
  • Karma: 62
Watched quite a bit of porn today on an unfiltered device I had access to. I'm so frustrated with myself. I don't have enough motivation to actually stop, but I know that it can destroy my life if I don't get it under control soon. I don't currently have a contract to not use unfiltered devices as per HHM's advice above and due to my fear that I'll just break it anyway due to lack of motivation, but that's the only way I can think of to cut this out.

I know that there are no magic solutions and that the only way to stop is with hard work and sacrifice, but I'm not up for it. Maybe I just need to wait till I hit rock bottom...
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 03 Mar 2022 01:39 #378080

  • OivedElokim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 542
  • Karma: 62
One of my main struggles in life is my relentless self-criticism and perfectionism. I need to consciously fight it and question that voice of judgement, or else it will consume me and I will sink deeper and deeper into the pit of self-loathing, depression and inertia. To that end, let me enumerate the things I am doing right, and the steps I did take:
  1. Bought myself a laptop that I can filter so I don't have an excuse to use unfiltered devices.
    :pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
  2. Got my phone and laptop filtered with the best filter I know of (GenTech).
  3. Got WebChaver on the aforementioned devices.
  4. I'm in regular contact with many chevreh from this wonderful site, by chat, email, phone, text, WhatsApp, and even in person. (I feel like I have a support system to help me stop, if only I wanted to...)
  5. I opened up to a relative about my struggle.

Here are the things that remain to be done:
  1. Get motivated.
  2. Open up to a Rebbi, someone who I know and respect in real life.
  3. Quit using unfiltered/unmonitored devices. Forever.
  4. Quit fantasizing.
  5. Quit masturbating.
  6. Quit ogling at women.

​That's it. End of rant. Any constructive criticism or advice is welcome. Thank you.

OivedElokim 
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 
Last Edit: 03 Mar 2022 01:40 by OivedElokim.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 03 Mar 2022 03:09 #378082

  • Sapy
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 417
  • Karma: 38
I'll just add to the top of the list of things remaining to be done:

1) stop the relentless self criticism and perfectionism..... 
2) stop the relentless self criticism and perfectionism..... 
3) stop the relentless self criticism and perfectionism..... 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 03 Mar 2022 03:33 #378083

  • Vehkam
  • Current streak: 250 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 476
  • Karma: 119
Perhaps you were already doing it but if not I would add one thing to the list.

that would be try to commit to doing something proactive consistently every day.
such as listening to the daily boost every day or reading a chapter of one of the books available.

That way you have something positive to point to every single day and every day is a win even if you happen to have a fall In some area.

If you see that it is working you can always add another small thing on top of the first…,

Slowly but surely these little things add up and will help you become more motivated and they will also start filling up your thoughts
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 03 Mar 2022 04:07 #378087

  • Hakolhevel
  • Current streak: 18 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 628
  • Karma: 44
OivedElokim wrote on 03 Mar 2022 01:39:
One of my main struggles in life is my relentless self-criticism and perfectionism. I need to consciously fight it and question that voice of judgement, or else it will consume me and I will sink deeper and deeper into the pit of self-loathing, depression and inertia. To that end, let me enumerate the things I am doing right, and the steps I did take:
  1. Bought myself a laptop that I can filter so I don't have an excuse to use unfiltered devices.
    :pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
  2. Got my phone and laptop filtered with the best filter I know of (GenTech).
  3. Got WebChaver on the aforementioned devices.
  4. I'm in regular contact with many chevreh from this wonderful site, by chat, email, phone, text, WhatsApp, and even in person. (I feel like I have a support system to help me stop, if only I wanted to...)
  5. I opened up to a relative about my struggle.

Here are the things that remain to be done:
  1. Get motivated.
  2. Open up to a Rebbi, someone who I know and respect in real life.
  3. Quit using unfiltered/unmonitored devices. Forever.
  4. Quit fantasizing.
  5. Quit masturbating.
  6. Quit ogling at women.

​That's it. End of rant. Any constructive criticism or advice is welcome. Thank you.

OivedElokim 

You definitely  criticize yourself a lot. Try some acceptance?

MMotivation for me has been the biggest change in the 2 months where I have had better success than. The last two years. Even then I'm just treading water, and that's with being g married.

Good luck and there, and keep working on it. You are worth it.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 07 Mar 2022 02:10 #378224

  • OivedElokim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 542
  • Karma: 62
For the first time in weeks, I'm 4 days clean, BH! 
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 09 Mar 2022 22:09 #378360

  • OivedElokim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 542
  • Karma: 62
Got to 6 days and then fell. 
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 10 Mar 2022 18:58 #378415

I saw your post about not taking vows/contracts because you're afraid to break them and I just wanted to say that I personally felt the same way before starting to take them but I eventually started taking them I didn't break them. When I did start to take them (and I still do it like this now) I took the vows only by the day and only for that day, so in the back of my mind if I did really want to go and watch, I can at least wait until the next day and not break the vow. And I didn't do this everyday, I took the vows only when I felt the desire and/or came across a loophole or an unfiltered device. 

There's also ways to allow yourself to go look (despite taking the vow) if you agree to do certain things as a part of the vow before or after you go and look as a knas or distraction if you remember the vow at the time of the urge. But I assume you already checked out the Taphsic method and are still shaky about it. Try taking it one day at a time (even an hour at a time) in conjunction with the knas or distractions so even if the urge is "irresistible" you won't break the vow because if you go ahead and do them you would be able to watch without breaking the vow. I hope this can help and I do encourage you to at least try this on a day where you feel no urges at all to start to get used to it.
FOR FREE FILTERS AND ACCOUNTABILITY SOLUTIONS CLICK HERE
(Includes WebChaver/CovenantEyes, Microsoft Family Safety, and Apple
Screentime
and a how-to guide to set them up without loopholes)  

Even if you already have a filter, these are necessary additions because
they fix many loopholes that exist with paid filters (speaking from firsthand
experience) and because they add priceless accountability features.

If you have trouble filtering a shared device, then see the post for how
to get these filters discreetly, without any other users' knowledge whatsoever
and without the filters affecting the other users of the device at all.
Last Edit: 10 Mar 2022 19:03 by ליוסף הצדיק.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 10 Mar 2022 22:31 #378428

Try out the easy way to break free from lust using the Self-Talk method! (See my signature for thread) It helps change our core and our view of lust! Which will allow us to feel less lustful and to become stronger people with a proper mindset! We’ll finally feel one with ourselves! And the wanting and idea of falling will be out the window! You may be just a 5 minute recording away from experiencing freedom and real happiness! Hatzlacha!  
“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 11 Mar 2022 00:38 #378437

  • OivedElokim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 542
  • Karma: 62
Bilaam Harasha to Yosef Hatzaddik wrote on 10 Mar 2022 18:58:
I saw your post about not taking vows/contracts because you're afraid to break them and I just wanted to say that I personally felt the same way before starting to take them but I eventually started taking them I didn't break them. When I did start to take them (and I still do it like this now) I took the vows only by the day and only for that day, so in the back of my mind if I did really want to go and watch, I can at least wait until the next day and not break the vow. And I didn't do this everyday, I took the vows only when I felt the desire and/or came across a loophole or an unfiltered device. 

There's also ways to allow yourself to go look (despite taking the vow) if you agree to do certain things as a part of the vow before or after you go and look as a knas or distraction if you remember the vow at the time of the urge. But I assume you already checked out the Taphsic method and are still shaky about it. Try taking it one day at a time (even an hour at a time) in conjunction with the knas or distractions so even if the urge is "irresistible" you won't break the vow because if you go ahead and do them you would be able to watch without breaking the vow. I hope this can help and I do encourage you to at least try this on a day where you feel no urges at all to start to get used to it.

I've tried month-long knas contracts before and have broken them. I doubt that shortening the length of the contract will make much of a difference. Never did an actual shvua but I don't think that would be wise given my situation.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 11 Mar 2022 04:19 #378455

I read your post about waiting to hit rock bottom to improver. I once read a book called Beautiful Boy. It's a father's account of his son's tragic struggle with drugs. In the book he mentions that "rock bottom" is really a fallacy. There is no objective state that can be identified as such. There is always more room to descend. Whenever someone recovers it is easy to say retroactively that they hit rock bottom. But it's not really true. Don't wait for that to happen, you might have to go very far down, in which case you will have made it that much harder to recover. 
Time to create page: 0.85 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes