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OivedElokim-I’ll never give up
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 12062 Views

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 27 Jan 2022 06:00 #376549

  • OivedElokim
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Just started flight to freedom tonight. 
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
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Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 07 Feb 2022 04:36 #376943

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Completed lesson 1 of Flight to Freedom (besides for the last assignment). It's a really solid program and I feel like it might help me find the resolve to take quitting seriously.

I got myself a laptop so I can filter it and never need to use an unprotected device. I'll let you guys guess the first thing I used it for...

But by now BH I've installed GenTech and I'm very happy with it. Tried downloading WebChaver as well but there was some glitch in the installation. I contacted them and am waiting to hear back.

In my regular life I'm hovering between OK and moderately depressed. Been having a fair amount of Hatzlacha in learning the mesechta that i chose to do for bekius. Spending a nice amount of time on it and finished 20 blatt in about a week and a half. Other then that my learning isn't going particularly great. My morning routine is still not good and I'm looking into a part-time job just to get me up in the morning.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
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Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 07 Feb 2022 05:30 #376946

OivedElokim wrote on 07 Feb 2022 04:36:
Completed lesson 1 of Flight to Freedom (besides for the last assignment). It's a really solid program and I feel like it might help me find the resolve to take quitting seriously.

I got myself a laptop so I can filter it and never need to use an unprotected device. I'll let you guys guess the first thing I used it for...

But by now BH I've installed GenTech and I'm very happy with it. Tried downloading WebChaver as well but there was some glitch in the installation. I contacted them and am waiting to hear back.

In my regular life I'm hovering between OK and moderately depressed. Been having a fair amount of Hatzlacha in learning the mesechta that i chose to do for bekius. Spending a nice amount of time on it and finished 20 blatt in about a week and a half. Other then that my learning isn't going particularly great. My morning routine is still not good and I'm looking into a part-time job just to get me up in the morning.

I see this pattern a lot.. there’s a certain consistency once one breaks free if we’re using the same device ongoing.. there’s less of a trigger of “maybe let’s fall”because we developed a certain consistency of not falling with my device. etc. however , whenever we get a new device or we use a new device.. our brains right away shift to the idea of falling. Even if our previous device had been unfiltered.. it’s important to look out for this and prepare before buying new devices.

“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 08 Feb 2022 05:07 #377019

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Day 1
Gonna try to start posting (daily?) more often. Fell last night, clean today. Completed the cost-benefit analysis at the end of lesson 1 of F2F. It moderately strengthened my resolve to kick these habits for good. 
Woke up super late today, hope to wake up at a normal time tomorrow and have a (somewhat) productive day.
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Over and out, OE
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
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Last Edit: 08 Feb 2022 05:53 by OivedElokim.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 10 Feb 2022 00:01 #377144

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Had a good day today. I'm particularly excited as I finished the first Perek of the Masechta that I'm learning for bekius today. I consider it a major milestone in my learning, as I started just two weeks ago (in an inspired moment, with the goal of making a siyum Erev Pesach-we'll see how that goes...), and I generally struggle with Gemara (for several reasons which are beyond the scope of this post). I'm very proud of my consistency as I don't have a chavrusa for this. There is nothing like the joy of accomplishment in Limud haTorah. I'm posting this here because I have nowhere else to shamelessly toot my own horn  ...

But as an aside I found that in moments of satisfaction and accomplishment such as these, there is little  no urge to act out sexually. I know this will not last, but it's a lesson that I'll remember-stay busy with good things, and the bad things will have less of an appeal...
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
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Last Edit: 11 Feb 2022 04:17 by OivedElokim. Reason: identifying details

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 10 Feb 2022 00:29 #377145

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Mazel tov! 

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 10 Feb 2022 00:41 #377146

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Hey buddy, As you say a Double Mazel Tov!! 

Good for you!! Thanks for sharing! 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 10 Feb 2022 04:43 #377163

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Just installed WebChaver on my phone. Now I have it both on my laptop and my iPhone. Still need to plug up some holes in my iPhone's filter but generally I'm feeling pretty secure. It's amazing the feeling of relief and freedom that washes over you when you realize you don't have to be stuck anymore in these old patterns...

Also, under no circumstances will I masturbate tonight. Just putting out it there...
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
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Last Edit: 10 Feb 2022 04:48 by OivedElokim.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 10 Feb 2022 12:19 #377179

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OivedElokim wrote on 10 Feb 2022 00:01:


But as an aside I found that in moments of satisfaction and accomplishment such as these, there is little  no urge to act out sexually. I know this will not last, but it's a lesson that I'll remember-stay busy with good things, and the bad things will have less of an appeal...



There is a strong connection between being mechazek one's learning and staying clean. There is ruchniyus effect - kedushas haTorah and our connection with Hashem through limud haTorah, as well as a psychological one - feeling good productive and accomplished with one's self, and lastly a practical consideration - less empty time with nothing to occupy one's self with. Of course it is not foolproof, nor is it a guarantee, but it is a great move in the right direction. Mazel Tov on the siyum and iyh many more.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 11 Feb 2022 00:42 #377230

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Just fixed up my filter on both of my devices. That's the easy part...

Now I have to start working on my mindset and rewiring my brain. 
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
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Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 11 Feb 2022 03:16 #377246

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Just fell 
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
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Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 11 Feb 2022 03:28 #377247

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OivedElokim wrote on 11 Feb 2022 03:16:
Just fell 

Falling sucks.
Chazak chazak bro
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 13 Feb 2022 19:16 #377345

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Masturbated Friday night and last. Don't really have a plan in place for quitting. Have done contracts with knosim in the past, but it doesn't always help. I've torn up several 10 and 20 dollar bills already... I don't know what to do.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
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My current thread 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 13 Feb 2022 19:54 #377347

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Just finished lesson 2 of Flight2Freedom. I really liked it.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
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Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 14 Feb 2022 04:04 #377366

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Had a pretty good day in terms of work and learning, BH. I fell twice though, once with watching. I really want to stop but I'm not willing to make a new contract that involves ripping money. I wonder if donating to GYE (larger sums-like $50, $100) will do it for me...
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 
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