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I Cant Imagine Not Making It
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TOPIC: I Cant Imagine Not Making It 187 Views

I Cant Imagine Not Making It 01 Feb 2021 00:31 #362412

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Hi I'm a bochur who started struggling around 5 years ago. It was pretty bad for the first few years but Bh stopped being a problem the past few years. For some reason ive started struggling again a little bit this year. It weird because in yeshiva i have zero struggle but somehow ive slipped badly for a few off shabbosim. I made the name of the forum something that i hope will help me remember how badly i want this and i plan bli neder in stopping in to update at the begining of the off shabbos (not just when i fall like just now), in between ill be silent. Thanks for reading! Hatzlocha! 

Re: I Cant Imagine Not Making It 01 Feb 2021 01:24 #362420

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Welcome. What you describe is very common. During the zman one is productive, has a pretty structured schedule, and is surrounded by Torah and Tefillah. Once home, there is a lot of down time - unstructured and unproductive. Instead of learning how to relax in a healthy way, it is common to get down on one's self, leading to......... Be proud of your accomplishments in stopping bad habits and reigning in the yetzer hara. Keep it up b'ezras Hashem
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Re: I Cant Imagine Not Making It 01 Feb 2021 01:58 #362422

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Welcome! You should have hatzlacha here!

Can you describe in a less vague way what you struggle with?

Re: I Cant Imagine Not Making It 01 Feb 2021 04:22 #362432

Best of luck on your journey! For me as well the downtime at home or on a family vacation is the hardest - I need a constant schedule filled with Torah to keep me going. Regardless though obviously it's still important to keep moving forward (not just standing still) especially in the places where it's most difficult 
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!

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Aiming to be better

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Re: I Cant Imagine Not Making It 01 Feb 2021 04:38 #362438

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I can relate very well to this. Although internet was not the issue when I was a Bachur,the Yeridos of Kedusha during Bain Hazmanim were always an issue for me. It is great that you are working on this now. One Mashgiach is quoted to have said the way you are bain Hazmanim is the way you will be when you leave Yeshiva. Very true words.
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