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My filter failed & so did I
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: My filter failed & so did I 1575 Views

Re: My filter failed & so did I 12 Jan 2021 21:09 #361171

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Dear David,
I know how you feel. about 2 months ago, I found out that youtube and other things were open on my computer. 
Thank G-D i didn't fall but i was so close.
Aron Frand from techloq  BH saved the day.
I remember my YH was so strong, it was unbearable.

David you are an inspiration to us all.
it should be a yerida for a huge aliyah in every aspect of your life.

Thanks

Eyes 

Re: My filter failed & so did I 13 Jan 2021 13:50 #361234

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Lou wrote on 12 Jan 2021 20:37:
Thank you so very much for this thread. I will admit that when I first saw it I was filled with Yiush. Is there really no end point? Do you really never "graduate"? Then I realized that the answer to my question is yes,there is no end to the Nisyonos until after 120. That is what we are here to deal with. That is not a sad thought,but rather an invigorating thought.It is really not a chiddush to have a fall. It is just like any other area in life.The chidush is the way you got right back up and are here and ready to help just as before.
Thank you very much!

My doctor once told me that if he get's up in the morning and feels no pain, he knows that he's dead 

A person one told the Chafetz Chaim hat he has no peace from the Yetzer Harah, the Chafetz Chaim responded, that's exactly the purpose of life, if there is no challenge there's no life.  
A human being is fallible by definition, what defines greatness is how fast you stand up again and try your best going forward. 
We have no idea how much nachas ruach we are giving to Hashem each time we try to be strong and do his will!

Let's remember to always keep Hashem in front of our eyes an do our best to do HIS will!
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: My filter failed & so did I 14 Jan 2021 00:25 #361278

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I have a question. If a person has the ability to go clean without filtering his devices (true it will be much harder, but lets say he has the strength) is that in any sense better than fighting a "weaker battle" of not having any open internet around? Since if a person manages to go clean and win his battle only with filtered devices around, if (obviously hopefully not) an opportunity will chance upon him I believe he might fall easier than a person who fought the battle in the hardest way (AKA around unfiltered devices) since he is ready and prepared for anything the yetzer hara throws at him?

Re: My filter failed & so did I 14 Jan 2021 00:39 #361280

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Allday wrote on 14 Jan 2021 00:25:
I have a question. If a person has the ability to go clean without filtering his devices (true it will be much harder, but lets say he has the strength) is that in any sense better than fighting a "weaker battle" of not having any open internet around? Since if a person manages to go clean and win his battle only with filtered devices around, if (obviously hopefully not) an opportunity will chance upon him I believe he might fall easier than a person who fought the battle in the hardest way (AKA around unfiltered devices) since he is ready and prepared for anything the yetzer hara throws at him?

Welcome,

You are asking a good question which I don't think I'm qualified to answer.

I feel it is better for a person to not have unfiltered internet around, but not rely on the filter, so if it fails he wouldn't have the overpowering urge to act out.

Why don't you get yourself comfortable here and open up your own thread? I heard there is a sale going on, limited time offer, unlimited posting power. Share what's on your mind and what your challenges are.

Hatzlacha
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: My filter failed & so did I 14 Jan 2021 00:58 #361282

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Allday wrote on 14 Jan 2021 00:25:
I have a question. If a person has the ability to go clean without filtering his devices (true it will be much harder, but lets say he has the strength) is that in any sense better than fighting a "weaker battle" of not having any open internet around? Since if a person manages to go clean and win his battle only with filtered devices around, if (obviously hopefully not) an opportunity will chance upon him I believe he might fall easier than a person who fought the battle in the hardest way (AKA around unfiltered devices) since he is ready and prepared for anything the yetzer hara throws at him?

Thought provoking question. But.

On the contrary. The exact opposite. The whole concept of gezeiros and derabanans is based on distancing ones self from sin. We aren't put on this world to prevent sinning in the hardest places,  it rather we are required not to sin. Period. The way to do that successfuly, is to use all our resources to prevent being in situations where we are likely to fall. We all understand the gezeira of yichud. It's the medieval equivalent to filters on devices.

So no, there is no level in serving God, by putting ourselves in a place where the temptation is great and nevertheless overwhelming it. (That's too risky.) The way to serve God is by heeding his mitzvos, and taking all precautions possible to make certain we withstand his tests.

                                    Grant

Re: My filter failed & so did I 14 Jan 2021 01:08 #361285

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One of my favor gibbor quotes...
gibbor120 wrote on 03 Nov 2016 20:30:
Welcome!  A filter is kind of like a heker.  It won't stop you, it may make you think twice.  You cannot rely on that as your main "recovery" method since it is not a method at all.  Read the handbook.  Keep posting.  The main change must come from within.  

But on the other hand he writes...

I am considering removing the railing by my staircase. It should be my responsibility not to walk too close to the edge of the stairs, and I can always jump over the railing anyways if I really want to. Just sayin  .

Last Edit: 14 Jan 2021 01:08 by Sapy.

Re: My filter failed & so did I 14 Jan 2021 01:17 #361286

Allday wrote on 14 Jan 2021 00:25:
I have a question. If a person has the ability to go clean without filtering his devices (true it will be much harder, but lets say he has the strength) is that in any sense better than fighting a "weaker battle" of not having any open internet around? Since if a person manages to go clean and win his battle only with filtered devices around, if (obviously hopefully not) an opportunity will chance upon him I believe he might fall easier than a person who fought the battle in the hardest way (AKA around unfiltered devices) since he is ready and prepared for anything the yetzer hara throws at him?

I strongly disagree with your phrase "weaker battle." Having a filter is a choice that I made out of a place of strength and control. Also, it isn't always easy. First, I pay an annual fee. Second, my filter may block content that I have reason to view. Then I have to contact technical support and get it unblocked. That can sometimes be burdensome.

If filters that block access to pornographic content are available, then, on the contrary, what is the justification not to have one? Would you readily bring pornographic magazines into your home, but not look at them to show the yezter horo that you are ready for anything? Would you drive to the red light district, bring a zonoh home, have her sit on your couch and ignore her? When you buy a computer, laptop, tablet or smartphone that has Internet capabilities, you are doing just that unless you have a filter. The yetzer horo is with us for life. We don't kill the yetzer horo by dealing with this struggle. "Don't believe in yourself until the day of your death."

DavidT, the ba'al hathread, is a shining example to all of us of how to deal with this struggle. By equipping his devices with filters, he is fighting the battle from a place of strength. Suggesting that he would've succeeded in his recent test had he never relied on filters is a faulty conjecture.

Re: My filter failed & so did I 15 Jan 2021 02:09 #361342

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Allday wrote on 14 Jan 2021 00:25:
I have a question. If a person has the ability to go clean without filtering his devices (true it will be much harder, but lets say he has the strength) is that in any sense better than fighting a "weaker battle" of not having any open internet around? Since if a person manages to go clean and win his battle only with filtered devices around, if (obviously hopefully not) an opportunity will chance upon him I believe he might fall easier than a person who fought the battle in the hardest way (AKA around unfiltered devices) since he is ready and prepared for anything the yetzer hara throws at him?

Hey buddy, welcome to the family!

You ask a logical question.
Heres my take, apologies if it comes off sharp, it’s definitely not my intention.

A person makes a machine and you have a question how to operate it. Who should I ask? Who would u trust? 
The one who made the machine. And even if you thought you knew better you wouldn’t mess around cuz this guys MADE the machine and knows what’s best for it.

God made Man. HE made us with an Evil Inclination.
God told us what to do and what not to do.
One thing God tells us is to put up “gedarim”- fences, and try steering away from the Yetzer Hara.
Now, can one argue that hypotheticaly they’d end up stronger if only...

Ya one can argue that. But God made us, the machine and knows best how to operate it.

Lets not play games man, you’ll become a very strong, disciplined, and elevated person if u follow the steps.
Get filters and stick around here. Learn to change the way you view sexuality, and together we will grow into true servants of God.

With love,

YeshivaGuy

Re: My filter failed & so did I 15 Jan 2021 02:15 #361343

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And @AllDay, why not open ur own thread? Talk to us let’s get to know each other 

Re: My filter failed & so did I 15 Jan 2021 11:31 #361385

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This thread has gone from a powerful chizzuk thread to an absolute must read!

Thank you @DavidT and @Allday
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: My filter failed & so did I 15 Jan 2021 15:20 #361389

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שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 14 Jan 2021 01:17:




DavidT, the ba'al hathread, is a shining example to all of us of how to deal with this struggle. By equipping his devices with filters, he is fighting the battle from a place of strength. Suggesting that he would've succeeded in his recent test had he never relied on filters is a faulty conjecture.

I once read that when it comes to nisyonos in kedusha, our bechira (free will) is to choose good fences and create strong safeguards. If we fail at that we have very limited (if any) Bechira to fight lust head-on.  
See the Ohr Hachayim (Acharei Mos, 18:2)   guardyoureyes.com/articles/torah/item/the-ohr-hachayim-on-acharei-mos 
Here is a quote for there: "one cannot win over this desire unless he distances his mind and thoughts from these things and does not look upon these things"

Another good VORT on  "משלי ג ז  "אל תהי חכם בעיניך 
when it comes to one's eyes, we should act as wise-guys... 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: My filter failed & so did I 19 Jan 2021 05:27 #361551

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Just saying your are a gibor for coming back on here with the same resolve as before you fell...Keep on inspiring Klal Yisroel!

Re: My filter failed & so did I 25 Jan 2021 18:05 #361909

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So lmaaseh, hows it going?

Re: My filter failed & so did I 25 Jan 2021 18:15 #361913

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A boy was selling vegetables in the market. A thief came and started grabbing vegetables from his basket. Startled, the boy stood there frozen. A wise man standing in the distance screamed to him, “Don’t just stand there! Grab some vegetables too! Whatever you grab will be yours. Don’t let the thief take them all!”

By default, some of us approach life with the perspective that our goal is to not mess up, as if we were created perfect and have to stay that way. We think, “If I ever mess up, especially with sins of desire, it will show that I am a failure who will always bear the scars of what I have done. A person who ever slips up in this area is not a successful Jew, and probably cannot even be considered religious.” Of course, at some point most people mess up in some way, and if that happens to us and we conclude that we are inferior and flawed forever, we know what happens next...
Life becomes miserable, and we fall deeper into sin. This is the trap of the yetzer hara!
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
Last Edit: 25 Jan 2021 18:19 by DavidT.

Re: My filter failed & so did I 25 Jan 2021 18:17 #361914

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Great point.
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