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Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn!
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 854 Views

Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 13 Dec 2020 04:13 #358574

Heya it’s shtarkandemotional back here:)! I’m hoping to reach my goal of no touching my girlfriend for 90 days no m”zl for 90 days and no porn for 90 days... this will be my chart and I will talk about day to day how my life is and the challenges that come up bezH... for anyone who saw my other thread ... I’m gonna be taking a “break” in my relationship ... so I’m adding no touching my girl for the next 90 days since even though I’m taking a break the yetzer hara always finds himself back in my life and she also lives in the neighborhood so things can come up and it can be challenging and my porn struggle I’ve had a few year history with it... I’ve made nedarim and had long stretches clean for many months I’ve recently had a fall which led to fall(s) for a couple weeks now and I want to get back on my feet again... This stuff means a lot to me I paid close to 2 thousand dollars paying off kenasim that I made against porn and mz”L but besides that... I was very matzliach Bh!!!!!! Those clean months are worth way way more then 2 thousand dollars!  (Anyone who wants tips I have a lot of good strategies that help) so I’m starting again aiming for 90 days of these 3 inyanim.... hoping everyone can be the support in the time of need Thanku all!!!!!!! 
“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 13 Dec 2020 04:58 #358578

  • Zedj
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Hi S.A.E!

Welcome back!
These are all great things to work on.
It is a big step and i am sure all on GYE have your back through the ups and downs.

So the plan is to take a 3 month break from your girlfriend? What is your plan after 3 months? Wouldn't you just be back to square one?
Am I understanding this right?

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 13 Dec 2020 05:00 #358579

Zedj wrote on 13 Dec 2020 04:58:
Hi S.A.E!

Welcome back!
These are all great things to work on.
It is a big step and i am sure all on GYE have your back through the ups and downs.

So the plan is to take a 3 month break from your girlfriend? What is your plan after 3 months? Wouldn't you just be back to square one?
Am I understanding this right?

Hey, I’m thinking that to think about the first 90 days for now then to move up and up from there bezH... I’m just thinking now like a goal to make then to move to the next goal bezH... 
“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 13 Dec 2020 05:03 #358580

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 13 Dec 2020 05:00:

Zedj wrote on 13 Dec 2020 04:58:
Hi S.A.E!

Welcome back!
These are all great things to work on.
It is a big step and i am sure all on GYE have your back through the ups and downs.

So the plan is to take a 3 month break from your girlfriend? What is your plan after 3 months? Wouldn't you just be back to square one?
Am I understanding this right?

Hey, I’m thinking that to think about the first 90 days for now then to move up and up from there bezH... I’m just thinking now like a goal to make then to move to the next goal bezH... 

like to now think of 90 days and then another and another... bezH and then I’ll have the motivation that even through the times that an unfiltered computer pops up and I meet my girlfriend it will happen within the next 2 years I’m human.. after all I am keeping this relationship in mind for the near future bezH... it will happen but at least I’ll have the motivation not to touch etc and not to fall with porn etc... if I have that motivation of days clean already etc... 
“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 13 Dec 2020 13:28 #358598

  • eyes
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dear Shtarkandemotional
If I may give a bit of advise from a nobody.
Please get a good filter.
I have techloq. If you call the monsey office speak to aron frand. He is a tzaddik and he will help you install the best filter for your computer and smartphone. If you could get rid of your smartphone that would be even better. You are in Yeshiva, you really dont need the distraction.
When you say modeh ani in the morning ask Hashem for today to be clean. Dont ask for tomorrow or yesterday ask for today.

Hatzlacha.
Eyes

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 13 Dec 2020 17:52 #358607

  • Captain
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Welcome! Why don't you check out these great free resources?

Great book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation.

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Also, check out the daily GYE Boost emails at www.gyeboost.org.

A little inspiration every day can go a long way.

Wishing you much hatzlocha!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 13 Dec 2020 19:44 #358614

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 13 Dec 2020 04:13:
Those clean months are worth way way more then 2 thousand dollars! 

Great line! Hatzlachah!

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 14 Dec 2020 23:41 #358709

I’m about to fall!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 14 Dec 2020 23:43 #358710

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 14 Dec 2020 23:41:
I’m about to fall!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanna watch porn so badly!!! Feeling such a desire plus tons of sadness!!!!
“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 14 Dec 2020 23:49 #358711

  • YeshivaGuy
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Go dump a cup of cold water on ur head. It helps.
We’ll talk more after

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 15 Dec 2020 00:00 #358713

YeshivaGuy wrote on 14 Dec 2020 23:49:
Go dump a cup of cold water on ur head. It helps.
We’ll talk more after

I did that just now!!!! Still with my desires and so much sadness !!! maybe I’m gonna try to run outta my house to yeshiva!!!!! So painful:(
“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 15 Dec 2020 00:26 #358714

  • YeshivaGuy
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We’ll need to discuss the sadness, but for the moment the only eitza is distraction. So ya, running to Yeshiva should help

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 15 Dec 2020 00:37 #358715

  • Markz
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Shtarkandemotional wrote on 15 Dec 2020 00:00:

YeshivaGuy wrote on 14 Dec 2020 23:49:
Go dump a cup of cold water on ur head. It helps.
We’ll talk more after

I did that just now!!!! Still with my desires and so much sadness !!! maybe I’m gonna try to run outta my house to yeshiva!!!!! So painful:(

Sorry to hear. 
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Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 15 Dec 2020 03:43 #358731

  • Ish MiGrodno
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S.A.E.

You are literally Yosef Hatzadik - in the plainest sense of the word.

This will sound bad and hashkafically corrupt, but (I am married now, so my nisyonos pale compared to yours, and so) I truly envy your nisayon!!

​Your schar is incomprehensible, brother.

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
jackz90dys@gmail.com

Re: Reaching 90 days of no touch,mz”L,& porn! 15 Dec 2020 03:49 #358732

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 14 Dec 2020 23:49:
Go dump a cup of cold water on ur head. It helps.
We’ll talk more after

GYE Ice Bucket Challenge!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends
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