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Overcoming challenges
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Overcoming challenges 8965 Views

Re: Overcoming challenges 13 May 2021 11:26 #368507

  • Hashem Help Me
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Zedj wrote on 13 May 2021 05:08:
170 days clean
Thank you Hashem for giving me the strength to come so far!

There are times that I do get overwhelmed and feel that I need to work harder on myself to make sure I never ever fall again.


We need to "work harder" to plan properly to only access safe devices. We need to plan for when we will be traveling to triggering destinations, or will have that rare situation that one must use an unsafe device. If beneficial we spend some time on GYE, or speak with a mentor, or do other sorts of chizuk in a non obsessive or desperate fashion. 

Nobody can "make sure" they "never ever fall again". That mindset creates obsessive pressure. We daven and ask Hashem to protect us from nisyonos and to give us the seichel to make the proper choices. Other than that we are mei'siach da'as and live our lives to the fullest with simcha and menuchas hanefesh.

You are a true hero and have BH helped many as you yourself got out of this mess. Iyh you will have a very fortunate wife when the time comes. And you will be a fortunate chassan - going to the chupa with your head screwed on straight, lacking the confusion and turmoil (and predatory bedroom behaviors) many guys experience these days.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Overcoming challenges 23 May 2021 05:21 #368841

  • Zedj
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180 days clean

I can happily say I am 6 months clean!

After reaching 180 clean I got an automatic email from GYE with some tips going forward
Here is a quote:

"Don’t let your defenses down. Until you feel that your level of temptation of going back to your old behavior has reached zero , and you are fully confident about the future, it's too early to let our guard down. If you’ve taken additional precautions in order stay clean so far - keep them in place for now. Even people who are clean for a long time sometimes end up relapsing if they engage in SIDs (Seemingly Irrelevant Decisions) that become a slippery slope. "

Am I supposed to be confident? Or better yet is it even possible to have confidence in myself so much so to let my guard down at all in the future? 

it's a rhetorical question but comments are always welcome

Thank you to all the chevra here that helped me get to where I am now. 
This journey could not have been possible if not for all the constant chizuk and eitzos by you'all.

I cant thank you people anough.

Thank you GYE for giving me the opportunity to reclaim...me.

Thank you

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Overcoming challenges 23 May 2021 19:25 #368876

  • Wannabepure2
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Zedj wrote on 23 May 2021 05:21:
180 days clean

I can happily say I am 6 months clean!

After reaching 180 clean I got an automatic email from GYE with some tips going forward
Here is a quote:

"Don’t let your defenses down. Until you feel that your level of temptation of going back to your old behavior has reached zero , and you are fully confident about the future, it's too early to let our guard down. If you’ve taken additional precautions in order stay clean so far - keep them in place for now. Even people who are clean for a long time sometimes end up relapsing if they engage in SIDs (Seemingly Irrelevant Decisions) that become a slippery slope. "

Am I supposed to be confident? Or better yet is it even possible to have confidence in myself so much so to let my guard down at all in the future? 

it's a rhetorical question but comments are always welcome

Thank you to all the chevra here that helped me get to where I am now. 
This journey could not have been possible if not for all the constant chizuk and eitzos by you'all.

I cant thank you people anough.

Thank you GYE for giving me the opportunity to reclaim...me.

Thank you

Mazel Tuv Zedj to your huge accomplishment 180 days clean.

from my personal experience I’m 338 days clean it’s important to ALWAYS keep your guard especially on the little stuff that seems so insignificant.

Re: Overcoming challenges 06 Jun 2021 05:07 #369498

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194 days clean

With Hashems help I'm doing well.

I know I'm not posting as much but i still come on GYE often to get my very much needed dose of chizuk from the chevra.

Recently I found a loophole where I can watch YouTube.
I have not exploited it to watch anything inappropriate....a few documentaries and maybe a video here or there nevertheless bli neder tomorrow, I will have closed.
wishing you all the best,Gut voch!

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Overcoming challenges 06 Jun 2021 07:00 #369501

  • wilnevergiveup
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Zedj wrote on 06 Jun 2021 05:07:
194 days clean

With Hashems help I'm doing well.

I know I'm not posting as much but i still come on GYE often to get my very much needed dose of chizuk from the chevra.

Recently I found a loophole where I can watch YouTube.
I have not exploited it to watch anything inappropriate....a few documentaries and maybe a video here or there nevertheless bli neder tomorrow, I will have closed.
wishing you all the best,Gut voch!

Been there (the loophole part, not the 194 part) it took me a couple of days to get it fixed. I thought I would just watch some clean stuff but I didn't. 

Takes some courage to fix something like this but you have loads so I am not worried. I think it took me three decent videos until I was in the funnel of a flushing toilet bowl. 

Let us know when it's fixed.
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Overcoming challenges 07 Jun 2021 05:24 #369557

  • Zedj
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195 days clean

BH today was great.


Thank you @WNGU!

The known loopholes are closed but there is a chance in the future I may stumble on a similar loophole.
Until then, BH I'm in the safe zone.

Im happy to say I finally had the chance to speak to a rabbi about my porn use and masterbating struggles ect ect. 
it was nice to speak about it face to face with someone that can answer or be there when in comes to the halacha aspect. 

not gonna lie, it was not easy but I feel just a tad bit liberated.

I Hope that by me sharing someone here will have the courage to open up to their rav or mentor about this. 

Wishing you all well.

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Overcoming challenges 07 Jun 2021 06:23 #369561

  • wilnevergiveup
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Zedj wrote on 07 Jun 2021 05:24:
195 days clean

BH today was great.


Thank you @WNGU!

The known loopholes are closed but there is a chance in the future I may stumble on a similar loophole.
Until then, BH I'm in the safe zone.

Im happy to say I finally had the chance to speak to a rabbi about my porn use and masterbating struggles ect ect. 
it was nice to speak about it face to face with someone that can answer or be there when in comes to the halacha aspect. 

not gonna lie, it was not easy but I feel just a tad bit liberated.

I Hope that by me sharing someone here will have the courage to open up to their rav or mentor about this. 

Wishing you all well.

Courage, that's the word. You have loads of it, me has very little. I am working in building it, you are an inspiration. 

I went to my Rosh Yeshiva no less than three times to speak about this and each time I managed to speak about something else entirely and "forget" about why I went. The next try is hopefully going to be today, please daven that I can get the right words out.

Keep inspiring us.

P.S. I think what you are doing, speaking to a Rebbi and continuing to grow even after you hit 190+ is what separates the guys who stay clean and the guys who end up falling. It's never over, but if you keep on upping your game, the battle takes place on a different playing field. You can keep it out of the ring and even out of the stadium by continuing to grow and probably the most powerful is connecting and opening up to real people. like what you did.

So, hatzlacha and keep on shteiging! 
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Overcoming challenges 11 Jun 2021 22:26 #369776

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200 days clean

BH things are going well and happy to celebrate 200 days clean!

Its amazing looking back how far I've come, so far as to start opening up and speaking to others face to face.

​With Hashems help I will keep up what has been working for me and keep daily accountability. 

Thank you to all the chevra here for all the chizuk and thank you Hashem for giving me the power to keep going

Wishing you'all a great shabbos!

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Overcoming challenges 29 Jun 2021 07:03 #370324

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217 days clean
Update time:

With Hashems help (really, not possible otherwise) I'm doing well BH.

They say "numbers don't lie", I say "don't be fooled by  numbers".

the regular urges and fantasies come by and say hello. Usually not very intense but here and there a craving for "that thrill" or "that fantasy". 
(I think that's normal... right)

At the end of the day I (we all) know the thoughts/fantasies/urges it's all bluff... watching porn or masterbating is not something I "need". It's absolutely harmful to me.

working on redirecting the thought as soon as it comes up helps me move on.

otherwise I'm being kept busy and living a porn free life....
one day at a time.

Wishing you all well.

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Overcoming challenges 29 Jun 2021 16:49 #370337

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Amazing! Keep it up!
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Overcoming challenges 16 Aug 2021 03:57 #371640

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Hows it going Reb Yid?

Re: Overcoming challenges 16 Aug 2021 05:00 #371641

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Thank you for checking in.
It means a lot.

I've been meaning to update just have been kept busy and preoccupied.

BH I'm doin well and still come on often to check up on the chevra.

I'm currently home....being home has it's challenges but so far I've been holding up.
At times the urge to use pops up and gets hard or as of recent I have been getting cought up In images that are unfortunately seared into my memory

But overall I'm proud of myself and where I am holding and only wish to keep growing stronger.

Wishing you all well!

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Last Edit: 16 Aug 2021 05:01 by Zedj.

Re: Overcoming challenges 01 Sep 2021 09:03 #372090

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Rabbeinu, hows it going?

Re: Overcoming challenges 12 Sep 2021 05:55 #372363

  • Zedj
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I really gotta post here more often.

I'm going to bli neder post here at least once a week even if it's just something small

BH Yom tov was fabulous. 

Sometime it gets hard 
The usual fantasies and what not just  pop up during davening or just when I'm simply trying to relax.

This quote has been helpful for me as of late.
"Thoughts and feelings are not your friend'

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Overcoming challenges 12 Sep 2021 07:57 #372365

  • wilnevergiveup
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Zedj wrote on 12 Sep 2021 05:55:
I really gotta post here more often.

I'm going to bli neder post here at least once a week even if it's just something small

BH Yom tov was fabulous. 

Sometime it gets hard 
The usual fantasies and what not just  pop up during davening or just when I'm simply trying to relax.

This quote has been helpful for me as of late.
"Thoughts and feelings are not your friend'

I don't know who came up with that line but you are your thoughts and your feelings (my friend).
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com
Last Edit: 12 Sep 2021 12:40 by wilnevergiveup.
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