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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Hayom Yom 10477 Views

Re: Hayom Yom 06 Apr 2021 18:02 #366423

  • DavidT
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BHYY wrote on 06 Apr 2021 17:26:
Had some falls over Motzei YT and yesterday
Woke up with some sort of bug this morning and not feeling well at all. Just trying to get through the day clean.

"Just trying to get through the day clean" ??
That is no small thing... In fact that's what we try and need to do every day... ONE DAY AT A TIME!
Keep Strong, we need you.
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Hayom Yom 06 Apr 2021 18:57 #366426

  • BHYY
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eyes wrote on 01 Apr 2021 01:37:
Hi Getting married is not going to help the fight.
Today I actually spoke with Dov, and he told me that for some it could make it harder.
It all depends who you are.
If someone is addicted then when they are two weeks off it could be torture. 
If your wife sees that you are into sex, she will back off and you will get no sex at all.
I've been there. 
Its in the mind

Did I ever say it was?
I can tell you are very passionate about this and have posted similar things are on other peoples' threads but if you read my thread you will see that my frustration is because I want to go into marriage REWIRED. Hence:

I am b'chasdei Hashem working on this now before marriage but every time I fall I feel this intense fear that I'll mess up marriage by not getting over this.


Forgive me for jumping on you but you really need to read a thread before making a comment like that because it can come across as insulting. I've been fighting this fight for my marriage, whenever it happens.

נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 06 Apr 2021 19:04 #366428

  • BHYY
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I love you just the same R' eyes.
Just needed to defend myself
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 06 Apr 2021 20:15 #366431

  • HappyYid
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R' Eyes I just t want to summarize what people are saying (on other threads too),
We all agree to you that marriage isn't the answer (usually, sometimes it is- let's not fight about that), I'm married, I can attest to that as well, but sometimes when saying that to an unmarried guy, who never said it will help, can be pretty insulting.
We know what you are trying to say pretty strongly (I'm assuming you felt otherwise before you were married and got messed up somewhat, so you feel the need to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else), but please only say it when you are sure the person said otherwise, and even then you could write that for most it doesn't help...

I don't think you have to delete your post like last time lol, but just be more sensitive.

We still love you 
HappyYid
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread
Last Edit: 06 Apr 2021 20:43 by HappyYid.

Re: Hayom Yom 08 Apr 2021 02:35 #366503

  • BHYY
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The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and BHYY had a great day.
Seriously, it was beautiful outside.
I took HHM's advice to actually move and went on a brisk walk after Shacharis. Then I learned with my chavrusa did some errands and some more exercise and then had class. I feel so much better than I did yesterday. Exercise puts me in a much better mood and helps me deal with urges.
Yes, HHM is always right.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 09 Apr 2021 17:54 #366593

  • BHYY
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I'm having very strong urges to act out now. Oh well. 
In my head I'm (Y"H?) is saying you barely have any time clean what's another fall? I know better than that. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step...
This is why I don't count days. I'll have a rough idea of how long I've been clean but otherwise I obsess over it, hello perfectionism. And if I fall, oh boy, gotta reset the counter so may as well go to town so long as on day 0. Yes, not counting is the only way I can focus on ODAAT.
I look forward to posting again before Shabbos that I'm still clean!
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 09 Apr 2021 19:42 #366598

  • BHYY
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Wish I had better news but I fell
​I had some victories earlier today over urges but not all the way. I found myself home alone with all open access. B"H the zman starts next week so I'll be back in Yeshiva and not constantly exposed to unfiltered access.
I tried hard (not really my best) today. I exercised, I practiced mindfulness, I posted on GYE. The last thing I should have done was called someone on the phone. Then I probably wouldn't be posting about a fall now.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 11 Apr 2021 13:34 #366644

  • BHYY
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Shabbos was enjoyable, restful, and clean B"H.
After an enjoyable 2 week hiatus I am back in my Sunday class .
I promised myself a nice afternoon if I stay clean through class. Here we go!
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 11 Apr 2021 15:33 #366651

  • Yehuda B
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In regards to what people wrote about whether or not marriage helps, all I can add is my personal experience...and that is, yes it helped me. I used to masturbate and watch porn, plenty of it. But haven't done either of those not even once since I got married, over ten years ago. So what am I doing on this app?? Well I've posted some things on the baal habatim forum and the responses have been extremely helpful to whatever I'm dealing with. So will marriage change how you think? No, and that's something that will need to be rewired and marriage will not help that. But the fact that I have not watched porn or masturbated once since I got married is not a coincidence. The last time I did that was about a week before my wedding. 

Re: Hayom Yom 12 Apr 2021 01:21 #366692

  • Sapy
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How was? You got your nice afternoon??

Re: Hayom Yom 15 Apr 2021 01:30 #366845

  • BHYY
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Hi Chevra,
I am so happy to be back in Yeshiva! B"H I've been clean and enjoying the structure and social aspects. I haven't been on the site much as I'm focusing more on the physical people in my recovery (Phone calls, therapist, SMART meetings), I find they help me a lot more. Don't get me wrong, this site helps me a ton but nothing is like a real person (or people!).
Hope everyone is well, B"H I'm doing amazing!
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 15 Apr 2021 01:43 #366846

  • Zedj
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Good to see you doing well!
Please come back to update us every once in awhile!

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Last Edit: 15 Apr 2021 01:44 by Zedj.

Re: Hayom Yom 15 Apr 2021 01:51 #366847

  • Sapy
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Happy to hear! Keep going!

Re: Hayom Yom 19 May 2021 23:48 #368707

  • BHYY
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Testing, testing. Is this thing on?
Oh, hello.
I missed everyone (not that I really left, just wasn't posting much). B"H doing well, progressing. No massive streaks but so long as it's 2 steps forward 1 step back I'll get to my destination. It's a journey, takes some people longer and some people shorter.
SMART, therapy, phone calls and, of course, GYE, I've got plenty of resources. Just have to keep going.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 20 May 2021 13:22 #368735

  • Snowflake
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Great to see you fighting.
Keep going and the rewiring will occur.
About the whole marriage helps or not, my 2 cents:
Having been married before, not being married now and looking forward to getting married Ym"H soon, I don't think men really crave sex. (what? lol)
Looking at myself, I'm a very needy guy, i.e. I need my future wife to give me a lot of attention in any form. Sex is the ultimate "attention giving", "token of acceptance", you name it. But if she doesn't give me that all the time but at least give me her love, smile, talk to me, ask me how my day went, I think I can withstand the 14 day period (sometimes 60 if she gives birth), as I think anyone here can. I know in my past marriage, I think the main issue was not getting enough attention, despite the other part not being great either. I'm not sure this should be in the baalei batims section, but if she does "it" solely for you (and you know when such a thing happens), it is not satisfying at all. On the contrary, it's very depressing.
Dov talks a lot about that. Being single now, I'd say I don't really crave sex. I crave closeness. A female heart. A partner. You name it. Unfortunately, I look for the wrong means to solve the issue, hence my problem.
Be kitzur, IMHO, find someone who will give you plenty of support and love. Although unrelated to GYE, common values is a must too. That should be of great help.
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