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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Hayom Yom 10478 Views

Re: Hayom Yom 30 Mar 2021 23:43 #366199

Grant400 wrote on 25 Mar 2021 21:48:

BHYY wrote on 25 Mar 2021 21:30:
First day out and about doing Pesach prep...oish. Temperature jumped up and it appears everyone outside decided to take their clothes off .
Staying strong...although it is very hard...

Oh darn! I forgot the summer is coming...

#MAKECOATSGREATAGAIN!!!

Approved by me

Re: Hayom Yom 30 Mar 2021 23:49 #366200

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Sounds great!
When talking to my therapist about similar things where it is essential to my sobriety and normalcy, the perspective he put it in was that if it's gonna help my sobriety than it's more important than a filter.

Re: Hayom Yom 30 Mar 2021 23:49 #366201

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One of my problems is being absolutely obsessed with the streaks and still not completely getting over my fall after 43 days clean. Really have to let it go. I keep toying with the idea of not counting days but as soon as I have a day or too clean I go back to counting. I really think I should just stop. This is a journey. A long streak won't help me, rewiring will.
One thing that really gets me down when I fall is that I'm in the parsha of Shidduchim. I am b'chasdei Hashem working on this now before marriage but every time I fall I feel this intense fear that I'll mess up marriage by not getting over this. There are tons of stories on GYE and more that I've heard personally. I want to have a healthy marriage with my head on straight.
The married folks here can fact check me on this but I guess what I need to come to terms with is that a long streak does not guarantee me a happy, healthy marriage in this inyan. Only Hashem can do that. I just need to keep fighting. Of course doing the same thing over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity but I think I have been making healthy changes. Hard changes but healthy.
Another is just plain impatience. This is a journey. It won't happen overnight. But I have tasted the sweet taste of freedom! The clarity I had after several weeks clean was unparalleled. I want back! And I'm not patient enough to take it one day at a time.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 31 Mar 2021 00:07 #366202

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Thanks for the honesty and transparency!
BHYY wrote on 30 Mar 2021 23:49:
One of my problems is being absolutely obsessed with the streaks and still not completely getting over my fall after 43 days clean. Really have to let it go. I keep toying with the idea of not counting days but as soon as I have a day or too clean I go back to counting. I really think I should just stop. This is a journey. A long streak won't help me, rewiring will.
One thing that really gets me down when I fall is that I'm in the parsha of Shidduchim. I am b'chasdei Hashem working on this now before marriage but every time I fall I feel this intense fear that I'll mess up marriage by not getting over this. There are tons of stories on GYE and more that I've heard personally. I want to have a healthy marriage with my head on straight.
The married folks here can fact check me on this but I guess what I need to come to terms with is that a long streak does not guarantee me a happy, healthy marriage in this inyan. Only Hashem can do that. I just need to keep fighting. Of course doing the same thing over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity but I think I have been making healthy changes. Hard changes but healthy.


What changes, if I may ask?


Another is just plain impatience. This is a journey. It won't happen overnight. But I have tasted the sweet taste of freedom! The clarity I had after several weeks clean was unparalleled. I want back! And I'm not patient enough to take it one day at a time.

If ODAAT is as necessary as you say it is, its a need and must be internalized right away! No time to wait and be patient about internalizing it!

Re: Hayom Yom 31 Mar 2021 17:27 #366213

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Striving Avreich wrote on 31 Mar 2021 00:07:
What changes, if I may ask?

  1. Giving up my smartphone and going to a basic phone
  2. Giving up secular books
  3. Giving up reading secular news
  4. Attending live SMART meetings
  5. Meeting with several choshuv GYE members in person
  6. Not using my computer after 10pm
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 31 Mar 2021 17:34 #366214

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I really commend you for those. I was only able to give up my smartphone when Hashem made it that the screen broke and we didn't replace it.

Re: Hayom Yom 31 Mar 2021 17:34 #366215

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BHYY wrote on 31 Mar 2021 17:27:

Striving Avreich wrote on 31 Mar 2021 00:07:
What changes, if I may ask?

  1. Giving up my smartphone and going to a basic phone
  2. Giving up secular books
  3. Giving up reading secular news
  4. Attending live SMART meetings
  5. Meeting with several choshuv GYE members in person
  6. Not using my computer after 10pm


U rock man, u really rock

Re: Hayom Yom 31 Mar 2021 18:07 #366216

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BHYY wrote on 31 Mar 2021 17:27:

Striving Avreich wrote on 31 Mar 2021 00:07:
What changes, if I may ask?

  1. Giving up my smartphone and going to a basic phone
  2. Giving up secular books
  3. Giving up reading secular news
  4. Attending live SMART meetings
  5. Meeting with several choshuv GYE members in person
  6. Not using my computer after 10pm


Proven results
1, 2 & 3 I did all those things almost 5 years ago really helped

Re: Hayom Yom 31 Mar 2021 18:29 #366219

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BHYY wrote on 31 Mar 2021 17:27:

Striving Avreich wrote on 31 Mar 2021 00:07:
What changes, if I may ask?

  1. Giving up my smartphone and going to a basic phone
  2. Giving up secular books
  3. Giving up reading secular news
  4. Attending live SMART meetings
  5. Meeting with several choshuv GYE members in person
  6. Not using my computer after 10pm


I also, as per HHM's advice, gave my expensive new smartphone as a Korban Olah by tossing it in the nearest dumpster and never looking back.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 31 Mar 2021 19:36 #366220

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BHYY wrote on 31 Mar 2021 18:29:

BHYY wrote on 31 Mar 2021 17:27:

Striving Avreich wrote on 31 Mar 2021 00:07:
What changes, if I may ask?

  1. Giving up my smartphone and going to a basic phone
  2. Giving up secular books
  3. Giving up reading secular news
  4. Attending live SMART meetings
  5. Meeting with several choshuv GYE members in person
  6. Not using my computer after 10pm


I also, as per HHM's advice, gave my expensive new smartphone as a Korban Olah by tossing it in the nearest dumpster and never looking back.

Wow amazing!
Seriously, I'm sure it wasn't easy.
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Hayom Yom 31 Mar 2021 20:37 #366221

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BHYY wrote on 31 Mar 2021 18:29:

BHYY wrote on 31 Mar 2021 17:27:

Striving Avreich wrote on 31 Mar 2021 00:07:
What changes, if I may ask?

  1. Giving up my smartphone and going to a basic phone
  2. Giving up secular books
  3. Giving up reading secular news
  4. Attending live SMART meetings
  5. Meeting with several choshuv GYE members in person
  6. Not using my computer after 10pm


I also, as per HHM's advice, gave my expensive new smartphone as a Korban Olah by tossing it in the nearest dumpster and never looking back.

ריח ניחוח לה׳

Re: Hayom Yom 31 Mar 2021 22:34 #366224

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Mazal Tov!

I wish I had as much courage
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Hayom Yom 01 Apr 2021 01:22 #366228

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EvedHashem1836 wrote on 31 Mar 2021 22:34:
Mazal Tov!

I wish I had as much courage

You could do it too.

​My wife had so much respect for me when I did it.

Re: Hayom Yom 01 Apr 2021 01:37 #366229

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One thing that really gets me down when I fall is that I'm in the parsha of Shidduchim. I am b'chasdei Hashem working on this now before marriage but every time I fall I feel this intense fear that I'll mess up marriage by not getting over this. There are tons of stories on GYE and more that I've heard personally. I want to have a healthy marriage with my head on straight.
The married folks here can fact check me on this but I guess what I need to come to terms with is that a long streak does not guarantee me a happy, healthy marriage in this inyan. Only Hashem can do that. I just need to keep fighting. Of course doing the same thing over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity but I think I have been making healthy changes. Hard changes but healthy.



Hi Getting married is not going to help the fight.
Today I actually spoke with Dov, and he told me that for some it could make it harder.
It all depends who you are.
If someone is addicted then when they are two weeks off it could be torture. 
If your wife sees that you are into sex, she will back off and you will get no sex at all.
I've been there. 
Its in the mind

Re: Hayom Yom 06 Apr 2021 17:26 #366420

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Had some falls over Motzei YT and yesterday
Woke up with some sort of bug this morning and not feeling well at all. Just trying to get through the day clean.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom
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