Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest

My Clean Days Log
(0 viewing) 
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: My Clean Days Log 12358 Views

Re: My Clean Days Log 13 Apr 2020 07:00 #348386

  • lionking
  • Current streak: 8 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 872
  • Karma: 97
Hi Tzadik,
Thanks for the post. I understand the struggle, I've had that alot in the past.
MMay you be matzliach malleh malleh.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: My Clean Days Log 21 Apr 2020 21:30 #348597

Our dear שבע יפול צדיק וקם!

I just came in to check on your progress and was so inspired reading this thread. The last few updates are full of amazing thoughts! Thank you for keeping us in the loop and providing me with such Chizuk! Keep on going!!

Last Edit: 21 Apr 2020 21:31 by Fightingaddictionnow.

Re: My Clean Days Log 22 Apr 2020 14:15 #348620

Day 87.

Thank you for all of the encouragement. I admit that it has been a bit more challenging the last couple days. As I have written about in previous posts, my struggle with pornography and masturbation almost always starts in front of a screen. While I haven't "fallen," I have come close. To address this, I have resolved to cut out a lot of time in front of my computer. To cease or at least greatly limit certain online activity. Not letting the Internet be a place to reside, but only a tool when I have a very specific need. I created my own log to chart my progress.

Re: My Clean Days Log 23 Apr 2020 03:35 #348674

  • Realestatemogul
  • Current streak: 433 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 388
  • Karma: 29
We are all rooting for you!!! It's incredible how determined you are, and Hashem should give you the strength to go all the way!!

Re: My Clean Days Log 24 Apr 2020 01:26 #348719

Day 1.

Please don't post any words of consolation. I really don't feel that bad at all. I haven't given up in twelve years, I have no reason to give up now.

I would, however, appreciate support for my integrity. I was thinking about how the way in which I broke my streak was minor compared to what I used to do before starting GYE just over three months ago. I thought about continuing to report "still clean." "It was just this one time." I stopped myself and said that this "clean streak" has to be glatt kosher. No nonsense. No excuses and explanations.

As I have written about in past posts, screen time is really a big trigger. I know what I need to cut and I know what I can do to make it more difficult for me to "fall."

I am looking forward to passing my 88 day record and I am happy to report that over the last 96 days, my record is 94/96. Not too shabby.

Keep reading and keep supporting!

Re: My Clean Days Log 24 Apr 2020 03:42 #348722

  • marco93
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 1
  • Karma: 0
That was Sheva Yipul Tzaddik. Now time for the Vikom!!

Re: My Clean Days Log 24 Apr 2020 05:53 #348724

  • Jj123
  • Current streak: 6 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 104
  • Karma: 9
Can I just say that I'm jealous of how you reboot from a place of strength?
It's amazing how level headed and to the point your reaction to a slip/fall is.

Re: My Clean Days Log 24 Apr 2020 06:16 #348726

  • Singularity
  • Current streak: 72 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • To write, or not to write?
  • Posts: 1507
  • Karma: 79
I'd like to say even if a tzadik fell an eighth time it would still be fine :O
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
My Thread

Re: My Clean Days Log 26 Apr 2020 03:48 #348752

  • Realestatemogul
  • Current streak: 433 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 388
  • Karma: 29
Love the attitude!! Keep up the great work!

Also, you mentioned about integrity. It is truly incredible how GYE is anonymous yet we are all so honest with ourselves and where we are up to. 

Hatzlacha!

Re: My Clean Days Log 17 May 2020 02:32 #349809

Day #10.

Took a bit longer than I'd like to get here, but I'm here. For no real good excuse, I had access for a short period of time and that was it. Now that the access is out of my home, I was able to start over.

I just wanted to say to the readers of this thread that "giving up" has never been an option for me. My pattern usually is "falling" at night. I have never once woken up the next morning and made peace with my "falling." It has always been the attitude of okay let's try again. I think that this attitude is something to be tremendously proud of in and of itself. To not make peace with the situation. To at least hold these things at bay.

So, I had a short period of "falling" and not giving up and now I am here to report ten days.

Re: My Clean Days Log 17 May 2020 03:57 #349812

  • Singularity
  • Current streak: 72 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • To write, or not to write?
  • Posts: 1507
  • Karma: 79
Double Digit Dynamite!

What does make peace with your falling mean?
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
My Thread

Re: My Clean Days Log 17 May 2020 04:10 #349816

To give up. This is part of me. I'm not going to change. I am always going to watch pornography and masturbate. That would be making peace with it.

As opposed to, really wish I didn't do that last night. Oh man. Not okay. Got to figure out how to not do that anymore.

Re: My Clean Days Log 17 May 2020 04:30 #349821

  • Singularity
  • Current streak: 72 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • To write, or not to write?
  • Posts: 1507
  • Karma: 79
Interesting.

Is there possibly a middle road of:

This is who I am and what I do, and I accept that. That doesn't mean I approve of it, but I can't keep fighting that I should be someone different. I acknowledge this of myself and hope to be reprieved of it today, so where do I go from here?

Can't you feel the serenity seep through?
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
My Thread

Re: My Clean Days Log 17 May 2020 05:20 #349824

I agree with your middle of the road and I like the way you said it better than the way I said it. I am me and perhaps in my younger years I didn't want to appreciate that, but today I appreciate being me. One of my parts is the part that likes to engage in the naughty stuff. That being said, I don't want to do it for religious and other reasons. When I say, "I never give up," it means I have never approved of the behavior or turned the other way. I have always believed in myself that I can continue to disapprove and continue to try to avoid it.

Re: My Clean Days Log 17 May 2020 16:46 #349850

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 1985 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3172
If you truly accept yourself and have a healthy self esteem you probably have what it takes b'ezras Hashem to get out of this mess. Do you have any connection with guys from GYE or SMART or SA or other successful program?
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
Time to create page: 0.52 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes