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My Clean Days Log
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: My Clean Days Log 13126 Views

Re: My Clean Days Log 06 Jun 2021 15:50 #369514

I totally agree with this. 

i also am part of a family that let's non Jewish stuff into our home. It's not a bad thing, it's just something we do. But for people like us,  that's why having a filter is so important. There's a lot of good stuff online but we have to be extra careful to make sure the stuff we're looking at is only the good stuff, and not the bad. The filter does a great job of making sure of that. Mazal tov on 30 days!! 

Re: My Clean Days Log 10 Jun 2021 23:15 #369745

Day #34.

Re: My Clean Days Log 13 Jun 2021 03:22 #369785

Day #37.

Re: My Clean Days Log 18 Jun 2021 13:33 #370000

Day #42.

Internet filtering software and staying busy!

Re: My Clean Days Log 18 Jun 2021 13:56 #370002

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שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 18 Jun 2021 13:33:
Day #42.

Internet filtering software and staying busy!

AAAND......"וקם"!

Re: My Clean Days Log 24 Jun 2021 02:12 #370139

Day #48.

I have been very busy the last few days and that has basically meant a היסח הדעת from this whole topic. My hope is that I will experience this further when I start my new job in less than two weeks.

When I started GYE, I made a clear distinction between "checking out" women or anything that's not pornography, not a fall, and viewing pornography or masturbating, a fall. I did this because, knowing myself, if I would fall upon "checking out" a woman and then restart my streak, I would feel little to no incentive to then later hold back from looking at pornography and/or masturbating. I have had great success, as I have written about in this thread, with almost zero pornography since I started GYE and much, much less masturbation. Problem is, I have basically forgotten the parsha of "thou shalt not stray after your eyes." It is beyond habit that I "check out" women in public spaces. Meaning, women who I have no reason to be looking at them. Removing my glasses isn't an option, but I am curious as to how you approach the subject. How can I make this part of shemiras haeinyaim a thing for me again?

Thank you all!

Re: My Clean Days Log 24 Jun 2021 14:27 #370148

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Rav Avigdor Miller Z"L said the following:
“Barasi yetzer ha’rah, barasi Torah tavlin lo.”
  You learn Torah because only the Torah teaches you how to deal with the Yetzer Ha’rah.

Now there are two ways that this works. One way is bi’derech segulah. Merely learning – learning alone – is vitamins against the Yetzer Ha’rah. Hakodosh Boruch Hu sees that you’re learning and He says, “I’m going to protect you from the Yetzer Ha’rah.” Without any other logical explanation – it’s called “segulah.

And the second way is “sechel.” Because the Torah is full of ideas and ideals that give you the right kinds of thoughts. When a person has no good thoughts in his mind – when his mind is vacant – a vacuum will not remain a vacuum forever and wrong ideas and bad thoughts will come into his head from the outside world. If you fill your mind with good ideas – with Torah ideas – and you’re thinking all the time about these right ideas – in the street, at home – then you won’t have time for or interest in the Yetzer Ha’rah. You walk in the street and think about Ma’amad Har Sinai. You sit at the bus stop waiting and you’re thinking about Yetzias Mitzraim. It takes work to learn how to do that but there is no option. You must fill your mind with good ideas. And then when the Yetzer Ha’rah comes knocking on your door, you’ll tell him, “No, I’m sorry. This place is occupied already.”

------------------------

Any manner of Torah study provides us with spiritual fuel to fight the yetzer hara. Studying Torah automatically strengthens us and makes us want to serve Hashem properly. But there are also specific benefits that come from certain kinds of Torah study.

When we study halachos in depth, Hashem minimizes the yetzer hara in that area. Thus, learning the halachos of Shmirat Einayim is quite helpful. Studying the halachos of a sin also impresses upon us that it really is forbidden, and creates a commitment not to do it. It no longer feels like theoretical knowledge that this is something we shouldn’t do. It feels real. This gives us the strength to stand up to our yetzer hara and confidently tell him no.

When we learn the laws of Shmirat Einayim we may think, "This is impossible! There's no way I can be this careful." But as we study, we understand the wisdom of these laws and the more motivated we become.

The Four Primary Laws of Looking at and Thinking about Women

Below is a summary of relevant rulings. Familiarize yourself with these laws, and you will have a ready and practical guide to live by: (Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer, Chapter 21, Law 1)

(1) It is forbidden to look at a woman if she is dressed immodestly. (There are different laws regarding one's wife.)

(2) a. If you know of an area where immodestly dressed women are present, it is forbidden to enter this area. An alternative route must be taken.

b. If there is no alternative route, or the alternative route is impractical or costly, you are permitted to pass through the area providing you make every reasonable effort to avoid seeing the immodest sights.

(3) It is forbidden to have thoughts of desire for any woman. (There are different laws regarding one's wife.)

(4) It is forbidden to derive pleasure from looking at the beauty of a woman, even if she is modestly dressed. (There are different laws regarding one's wife.)

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: My Clean Days Log 24 Jun 2021 16:25 #370150

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In today's Daf the Gemara brings Reish Lakish says that looking at a women is more pleasurable then actually doing something with her. The Tosafas Yeshanim adds "therefore one has to be very careful about [looking]"
Aka -  Mischadeish075
Last Edit: 24 Jun 2021 16:25 by mggsbms.

Re: My Clean Days Log 24 Jun 2021 16:49 #370151

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mggsbms wrote on 24 Jun 2021 16:25:
In today's Daf the Gemara brings Reish Lakish says that looking at a women is more pleasurable then actually doing something with her. The Tosafas Yeshanim adds "therefore one has to be very careful about [looking]"

הסמ''ק (במצוה ל) מנה אותו במנין תרי''ג מצוות. (וכתב שם בסופו) וזה לשונו: וכתיב (''קהלת'' ו): ''טוב מראה עינים מהלך-נפש''. ודרשו רבותינו (''יומא'' עד:) טוב מראה עינים באשה יותר מגופן של מעשה, ואפילו באשתו היה נזהר אברהם אבינו עליו השלום ומשה רבנו, עד כאן לשונו
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: My Clean Days Log 25 Jun 2021 07:54 #370187

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שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 24 Jun 2021 02:12:
Day #48.

I have been very busy the last few days and that has basically meant a היסח הדעת from this whole topic. My hope is that I will experience this further when I start my new job in less than two weeks.

When I started GYE, I made a clear distinction between "checking out" women or anything that's not pornography, not a fall, and viewing pornography or masturbating, a fall. I did this because, knowing myself, if I would fall upon "checking out" a woman and then restart my streak, I would feel little to no incentive to then later hold back from looking at pornography and/or masturbating. I have had great success, as I have written about in this thread, with almost zero pornography since I started GYE and much, much less masturbation. Problem is, I have basically forgotten the parsha of "thou shalt not stray after your eyes." It is beyond habit that I "check out" women in public spaces. Meaning, women who I have no reason to be looking at them. Removing my glasses isn't an option, but I am curious as to how you approach the subject. How can I make this part of shemiras haeinyaim a thing for me again?

Thank you all!

i personally find that  learning sefarim that discuss the halachos , a little bit each day makes me  aware again that besides porn , just looking at women,even modestly dressed , is wrong. hope it helps, hatzlacha!

another advantage of learning shmiras eynayim halachos every day is:
when an aveira is HEFKER-i just give up on it.thats terrible , but when you fight you show that true, im nichshal but at least its not HEFKER , thats tremendously better for him regarding heavenly punishment,besides the fact the the fighting arouses siyata dishmaya and rachamey shamayim,
so too, i feel ,that if i learn the halachas about guarding my eyes, im showing Hashem that looking at women, "vlo sauru" is not HEFKER, im fighting the battle and that is going to help me alot as far my relationship with Hashem
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: My Clean Days Log 25 Jun 2021 14:24 #370203

Anyone know where all of the halachos can be found?
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Feel free to contact me at evedhashem1836@gmail.com

Re: My Clean Days Log 25 Jun 2021 14:40 #370207

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EvedHashem1836 wrote on 25 Jun 2021 14:24:
Anyone know where all of the halachos can be found?

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"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: My Clean Days Log 27 Jun 2021 02:41 #370225

Day #51.

In my experience, the mere exercise of setting a goal is already the first step towards achieving the goal. I found that just posting my issue on this thread, in my last post, was a helpful intervention. Thank you to those who responded as well.

Re: My Clean Days Log 02 Jul 2021 15:43 #370436

Day #56.

Re: My Clean Days Log 06 Jul 2021 01:14 #370525

Day #60.
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