Welcome, Guest

Become Holy's Journey
(0 viewing) 
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Become Holy's Journey 15922 Views

Re: Become Holy's Journey 28 Jul 2010 07:26 #75574

  • Holy Yid
  • Current streak: 92 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Keep the mind engaged and the soul content
  • Posts: 894
  • Karma: 1
BecomeHoly wrote on 26 Jul 2010 09:32:

Lesson learned: if by some hook or crook you fall, you need to reach out right away!!! even AFTER the fall, so you don' t continue falling but get the help you need to get back into recovery mode. Otherwise, a few days of suffering ensue...


I will tell you from experince that it can be weeks or months not days till I get back up. I had a lot of chizuk from this post. I broke a streak of 88 days last week and am about 1 day clean now and before I read your post I did not care to not fall again. I had very little motivation not to. I am really living lost in the moment, not focused on living a vibrant life, sleeping while awake. Not intune to long term wants or trying to be my best. Just rolling from one moment to the next. Living without passion and not really caring if i fall or not.

You post helped me remember I don't want to continue like this. Thanks
זכרני נא, זכרני נא, וחזקני נא אך הפעם הזה, הפעם הזה, האלקים, ואנקמה נקם אחת משתי עיני, מפלשתים
Last Edit: by .

Re: Become Holy's Journey 28 Sep 2010 23:15 #79286

  • BecomeHoly
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 262
  • Karma: 0
Ok so heres the story.

No RID. Nothing wrong. JUST HORNY!

I'm approaching day 40. (if not at it already). I've been crazy sensitive the past week. The Y"H is using all kind of tricks. The dreams i'm having. The most RANDOM lust hits. Like "hey why don't you just go right now and find some porn and just enjoy it." Whats the big deal? It'll only take five minutes.... OR "common, don't u feel that tension. Just masturbate and relieve the pressure. Its ok. you've been doing so well. Just let yourself feel this natural function." You're only relievign pressure. It will help you succeed. ..........

LIES! ALL OF THEM!

But seriously... I'm so sensitive that there isn't even a buffer zone. I am almost always on super sensitive mode these days and the tiniest little thing could trip me up.  I feel no different then when I was 14. Life is going great and so on and so forth, all this seems to be is the basic y"h.

I've been very good w/ avoiding triggers, yet still he's pusshing it my way.

I've been trying hard to just picture the "after effect" of after I act out. Its been a quick deterrent. But I'm getting worn down. Its been every 10 minutes i'm being nagged by the y"h for the past 3 hours. Just going to pee is a challenge, forget about requiring any trigger..

Any suggestions?
Last Edit: by .

Re: Become Holy's Journey 29 Sep 2010 05:15 #79310

  • desperate_teddybear
have you tried exercising?
it might sound stupid but sometimes when pressure is really up on me to fall, i go pound out on the treadmill and do weights, row a bissle- until im almost too exhausted to move. then i quickly jump in shower and go to sleep.
when i wake up, it's morning and i've got yet another special day dedicated to Hashem notched in my belt
Last Edit: by .

Re: Become Holy's Journey 04 Oct 2010 08:01 #79445

  • BecomeHoly
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 262
  • Karma: 0
i had just spent 2 days working out a lot when I wrote this... so yes..i've tried.. thx tho
Last Edit: by .

Re: Become Holy's Journey 24 Oct 2010 16:55 #81135

  • BecomeHoly
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 262
  • Karma: 0
ברוך ה!
Last Edit: by .
Time to create page: 0.33 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes