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SUDDEN URGES!!! please help
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TOPIC: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 4336 Views

SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 05 Dec 2009 23:46 #32468

i REALLY need help ! im baruch hashem clean in my 6th day thanx to gye. Now im really afraid to get 1 of these sudden urges where im not thinking properly, and i just act out without thinking. i need advice on what to do exactly when i get this sudden urge. please help i really would appreciate it.
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 05 Dec 2009 23:50 #32469

  • habib613
i would suggest that when that happens, call a friend, preferable someone on GYE, a partner or sponsor. Talking through it with someone else helps a lot.
if you can't do that, read through some of the threads here, or post and ask for help.
hatzlocho
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 05 Dec 2009 23:57 #32470

How do i get friends here on gye? im new this whole thing
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 06 Dec 2009 00:02 #32474

  • habib613
post here for an accountability partner:
rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=101.0

[Moderator's note: and/or send an e-mail to partner.gye@gmail.com].


Last Edit: 06 Dec 2009 21:36 by .

Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 06 Dec 2009 00:03 #32475

  • Tomim2B
Avi6000 wrote on 05 Dec 2009 23:57:

How do i get friends here on gye? im new this whole thing


"Will you be my friend?" - just like you did in preschool.  :D

Catch me on Gchat: Tomim2B@gmail.com.

2B
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 06 Dec 2009 02:21 #32486

  • bardichev
SHAVUA TOV

WELCOME ABOARD

POST AWAY!!

FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLES POSTS

YOU WILL BE ADDICTED TO THIS SOON

BARDS
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 06 Dec 2009 06:47 #32525

  • jerusalemsexaddict
where u at?
america or israel?or england?or africa?
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 06 Dec 2009 08:16 #32531

  • silentbattle
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Obviously, feel free to contact me, and if I'm around, I'll gladly respond (my email address is in my profile, I believe).

Whatever it is that you decide to do, though, I'd recommend planning it out beforehand. I mean, picture yourself being faced with a challenge, and in your mind, picture yourself, instead of acting out, doing something specific instead - getting up and going to a different room, going for a jog, calling a friend, emailing someone. Picture this scenario again and again, so that when the time comes, that will almost be your natural reaction to the situation.
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 06 Dec 2009 09:11 #32534

  • Eye.nonymous
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Hello, welcome to the forum!

I have found it to be helpful to change your place... go for a walk.

And if you can't do that, at least try to change your mood... listen to some music or something.

You can also post a emergency message here:  HELP, I'M ABOUT TO FALL!!!

But on the other hand, next to the computer may not be the best place to be when you feel like you're going to fall. 

Good luck.
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 06 Dec 2009 11:44 #32569

  • the.guard
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Dear Avi,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

6 days is a great start. Keep up the good work!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 06 Dec 2009 12:33 #32591

  • imtrying25
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Welcome Avi. Jump on board. You can pm me anytime you feel or send me a message at imtrying25@gmail.com. Chat doesnt work cuz of the k9. Sorry. Hatzlacha.
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 06 Dec 2009 21:08 #32723

Uri wrote on 06 Dec 2009 06:47:

where u at?
america or israel?or england?or africa?


Ameica
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 10 Dec 2009 21:28 #33966

  • BecomeHoly
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silentbattle wrote on 06 Dec 2009 08:16:

Obviously, feel free to contact me, and if I'm around, I'll gladly respond (my email address is in my profile, I believe).

Whatever it is that you decide to do, though, I'd recommend planning it out beforehand. I mean, picture yourself being faced with a challenge, and in your mind, picture yourself, instead of acting out, doing something specific instead - getting up and going to a different room, going for a jog, calling a friend, emailing someone. Picture this scenario again and again, so that when the time comes, that will almost be your natural reaction to the situation.


Excellent advice - basically what you're doing is re-training your subconscious to do something other than act out when you're challenged. Since addiction is a disease, you're NOT in control when it happens. "Practicing" a different course of action helps retrain yourself to act different when your subconscious is in charge and not you.
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 16 Dec 2009 15:53 #35252

  • sci1977
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welcome, you can contact me anytime.  we are all here to help each other.  Just keep thinking positve and about life. 
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Re: SUDDEN URGES!!! please help 17 Dec 2009 00:01 #35330

hey
thanx for offering your help... im bh clean in my 17th day but i have a little problem with shmirat enayim i need help in how to deal with that and what exactly to do in a situation like that  id really appreciate if u can give me some chizuk on that
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