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I will make it b'e"h
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TOPIC: I will make it b'e"h 216320 Views

Re: I will make it b"h 11 Nov 2017 17:33 #322257

  • MayanHamisgaber
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Tzomah
It took me a while to understand your post but I got it 
Thanks
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: I will make it b"h 11 Nov 2017 17:48 #322258

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 10 Nov 2017 12:18:
Mayan, someone who has been with us long enough to post over 1000 comments, opinions, chizuk, questions, and the like is far from being silly or stu... Many of us here suffer from low self esteem because of our struggle, but let's face the truth. There are many many people struggling with these issues, and some special individuals, like yourself, are doing something about it. Your journey with all its highs and lows has been shared for all to see. Do you think Hashem doesnt have tremendous nachas from the inspiration you have been to so many newcomers (and oldtimers)? Your honesty, courage, openness, and resolve have encouraged me and so many others that "it can be done". Thank you and G-d bless you.

I will write the  following knowing that eyes will roll and minds will think "come on already grow up shut up" but I will write it anyway and hope the feedback won't be to harsh

Yes I have been here long enough to have over 1000  posts yet still I have barely begun to make any progress guess I have been wasting a lot of time, mine and others.

Is this a low self esteem talking, probably, and while it is talking I'll let say a few more things like,many many people struggle true but if I were to  live my life by looking at others I would be a druggy and a few worse things by now as many of my classmates from school ended up that dark road

And quite frankly I am very embarrassed with my journey  so far and really do not see where there is any inspiration to be gotten especially from the old timers who are probably ready to kill me by now and for me to think about what Hashem gets from me would be suicide as whatever nachas he gets is dwarfed by sadness and pain that I am such a mess.

Thanks for being patient with me HHM TZOMAH MARKZ CORDNOY and all the rest of you (sorry if I have not mentioned others that I have had interaction with) may you all remain healthy and clean the rest of your lives
(and try not to leave me in the dust)
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!
Last Edit: 12 Nov 2017 04:01 by MayanHamisgaber.

Re: I will make it b"h 11 Nov 2017 19:41 #322259

  • mikestrucking
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Gevalt!!!! I used to think exactly like you. To the point that I had a dangerous episode. My therapist after talking to me for about 15 mins (if I remember correctly- definitely the first session with this guy) says SA. The real fellowship of seeing and connecting to other people not just user names really makes a difference. If you are an addict (try the SA 20 questions or speak to someone who knows) they teach and show you how you can not control yourself and you can not blame yourself.
Regardless if you are or are not an addict Hashem loves you more than you can imagine. The 13 Middos start with Hashem Hashem the first one is the love He has for you before you did an aveira the second one is the love He has for you afterwards- I think even if it was done l'ha'achis (just to rebel against Hashem c"v). You can rest assured Hashem loves you and does not nor will He ever give up on you.
I don't think the oilem here will give up on you either. Look at R' HHM's post this is where people like us turn this is what this website is made for. Not for people who can stop for people who need help. There's nothing wrong with that. I probably need more help than you do. I happened to Baruch Hashem have found a path which seems to work for now. You will B'ezras Hashem find yours too just keep your eyes open.
Keep on trucking.
Best of luck.
Please keep posting.
Formerly mikestruggling I just bought a truck. l hang out in the trailer and G-d drives. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: I will make it b"h 11 Nov 2017 20:40 #322261

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look at the baal shem tov on ois ches by חטא he says to reasons why the א is there 
hashem is always with u you can't let him down as he aint human 
you don't need to look at others the point is to see whats possible 
anyways dust where?
i don't see any 
you will make it or else you wouldn't be here 

like a bridge over troubled waters


my stuff

Re: I will make it b"h 12 Nov 2017 04:00 #322269

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Mayan, no one is giving up on you. We are here with you wherever this journey takes you. Even if you try to scare us away, our hands will be outstretched waiting for your grip.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: I will make it b'e"h 12 Nov 2017 20:47 #322297

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Hey 
Getting rather stressed out right now 
Why? because I potentially have 3-4 thousand dollars worth of dental work to be done between me and my wife and only $1700 in the bank
but I'll just give it all over to Hashem and let him take care of it for me/us 
So: Hashem I cannot deal with this please help me take a back seat and do your will and please take the stress/want to act out away as I will fall soon if I try to fight it.

Thanks for listening.....
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: I will make it b'e"h 12 Nov 2017 21:12 #322298

  • Markz
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Oh no

Refua shleima!
MayanHamisgaber wrote on 05 Nov 2017 20:48:
So I got thru to a fellow trucker and we came up with a plan 

I will bl"n write down 3 things to do before I act out and if i do not do one of them then there will be a small "knas"

Wishing myself much Hatzlacha
(And thank you)


This Taphsic road seems to be a backdoor or reverse lane - not sure you'll get far with that...

I believe cutting down on virtual connectivity and upping the real / live gye regular connection is likely to help you find some sort of sanity in life. You took baby steps in that direction... I think you can grow out of the infant seat - only if you wish
Thats my unsolicited take for a fellow brother. Take it or leave it

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Last Edit: 12 Nov 2017 22:18 by Markz.

Re: I will make it b'e"h 13 Nov 2017 05:34 #322315

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Markz

Amen
Thank you for your advice and that is exactly the plan to up the real live connection 
I a not doing a taphsic just a small incentive program

What does UCTACTTW mean?
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: I will make it b'e"h 13 Nov 2017 20:50 #322357

  • MayanHamisgaber
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Just need to vent 
Why the hell can she argue on every damn thing I say and way I live life and I cannot even say a stinking thing about any of the stupid things she does to waste money let alone try to explain things that I do.
And how the Hell did she decide to marry me if she is so indecisive about any g-d damn thing in life
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: I will make it b'e"h 13 Nov 2017 21:46 #322362

  • MayanHamisgaber
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Oh and 3 min. later all is well as if I didn't just get the sh-t shot of me what the f--k do my feelings mean anyway


I think Markz's list needs more than 9 entries
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!
Last Edit: 13 Nov 2017 21:48 by MayanHamisgaber.

Re: I will make it b'e"h 13 Nov 2017 22:54 #322370

  • Hashem Help Me
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Sorry you are having a rough day
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: I will make it b'e"h 15 Nov 2017 17:07 #322452

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She married you because even though she can’t decide about anything and is so indecisive, when it came to YOU it was very clear to her. It says a lot about how she likely feels about you.

(Some) Women have a tendency to connect through venting and criticizing. I have the distinct feeling of listening to my wife complain about all the things I do wrong sometimes, and if I can grit my teeth and actually LISTEN and be empathic, after she’s done she’s full of love.

Me-inside I’m hurt and seething and wondering “If you really feel all the things that you just said, how can you be so loving now?”

The answer- she doesn’t really feel that way. She felt that way twenty minutes ago at that moment. If I was able to take it, her feeling is gone.

Impossible for me to understand as a supposedly logical guy. But seemingly a not unusual female style.

So what do you do? Learn to try to see it only for what it is. It’s very hard.

On her part in regard to your feelings, as our therapist told my wife, “Your delivery can use a little work.”

Welcome to marriage!

Re: I will make it b'e"h 15 Nov 2017 18:29 #322459

  • MayanHamisgaber
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Thanks Workingguy
Yes what you say is the basics of understanding your wife this is not something new but I was hoping someone would spell it out.

And thank you for waiting a day or two in responding if this was posted right away I would have responded with stupid excuses why this does not apply to me (your beautiful way of explaining how she decided to marry me) and I would eventually be embarrassed with my behavior (at least more than I am already)

Thank you 
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: I will make it b'e"h 15 Nov 2017 18:48 #322463

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Oh and by the way I am honored to be the recipient of your 1000th post 
Mazal tov
( I see that Markz beat me to it and with 1000 !'s)

very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: I will make it b'e"h 29 Nov 2017 18:56 #323087

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Not feeling so well lots of stress won't bore anyone with the details
called a friend to vent I think it helped a little
really want to cut back on how active I am here but do not think it would be good for me right now

Markz please answer me what does UCTACTTW mean?
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!
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