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How do I know if I'm really an addict?
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: How do I know if I'm really an addict? 3997 Views

Re: How do I know if I'm really an addict? 09 Nov 2009 15:31 #27371

  • the.guard
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In other words, just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, we need to avoid that first slip!


Good line, Kedusha. I'll use that from now on!  :D
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Raytshill870.

Re: How do I know if I'm really an addict? 09 Nov 2009 15:42 #27372

  • Kedusha
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guardureyes wrote on 09 Nov 2009 15:31:


In other words, just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, we need to avoid that first slip!


Good line, Kedusha. I'll use that from now on!  :D


I'm only quoting myself! 

rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=1184.0
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by princesswarrior.

Re: How do I know if I'm really an addict? 09 Nov 2009 19:14 #27396

I actually have walked away from a "video session" without falling more than a few times.  Still - if I keep watching on a regular basis, eventually I fall.

So - no more playing Russian Roulette with my soul.  It's just not worth it.

I still don't feel like an "addict" - addicts in denial say "I can stop whenever I want to" and keep drinking, stealing, or gambling their life away.

I said I can stop - and I stopped.

Anyway, as others have said here before, it doesn't really matter if one is an addict or just an plain old chozer b'tshuvah.

We're all on a spiritual quest to serve Hashem properly with Shmirat HaBrit.  I'm so glad that this forum is here, so that we all have a place to speak honestly about our past mistakes, our current accomplishments, and our future resolutions.

Last Edit: by HelpUsHashem.

Re: How do I know if I'm really an addict? 09 Nov 2009 20:08 #27406

  • kanesher
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Kedusha wrote on 09 Nov 2009 13:49:

The intent of these Rabbis may have been as follows: Of course Zera Levatalah is a sin both Al Pi Niglah and Al Pi Kabbalah.  But, only Al Pi Kabbalah is it consided the worst Aveirah possible (although, this may not be literal - see Beis Shmuel to Even HaEzer 23).  Al Pi Nigleh, we know with certainty that that's not the case.  Avodah Zara is far worse.  Ditto for Chillul Shabbos, Gilui Arayos, eating Chametz on Pesach, murder, etc.  But, regardless, it is Assur.  According to most Poskim it is an Issur d'Oraysah.  I recall that the Teshuvas Pnei Yehoshua (written by the Maginei Shlomo, grandfather of the Pnei Yehoshua al HaShas) holds that it's an Issur d'Rabbanan.  Regardless, looking at pornography is a clear Torah violation ("Lo Sasuru . . . acharei eineichem").

As has been said, for GYE purposes, the Issur is almost besides the point.  Women have no Issur of Zera Levatalah, but if it becomes an addiction, it needs to be dealt with.


Thanks for the Mareh Makom, Kedusha. Interesting...
Last Edit: by Sch.

Re: How do I know if I'm really an addict? 09 Nov 2009 22:34 #27452

  • bochur28
withg-d'shelp - you reminded me of something I heard in shiur yesterday - the chazon ish asks why a person is blamed for doing averos if the gemora says 'ain odom choteh ele im kein nicnas bo ruach shtus'(a man does not do an averah unless a spirit of foolishness enters him) - we know that a shoteh(insane person) is patur on mitzvos, so why is the person who does an averah chayav?

Answers the chazon ish, the main chiyuv is on doing the things that lead up to the averah - putting yourself in a bad environment, bad friends, or first steps, gateways to doing averos and so on - even if the videos are pareve, you need to be mecahzek with them too, even if you fell just once.

Sorry if I seemed harsh before - I didn't notice that you were the one who wrote the second message - im sorry.

Anyway, I saw those shitos in a likut sefer called 'taher lebainu' on guarding one's thoughts(it also includes these inyonim of hotza'ah) - I'll try to find it next time I come across it.
Last Edit: by leah451.

Baruch Hashem, I fell! An opportunity to convert sins to mitzvas 12 Nov 2009 11:49 #27912

I'm so happy that I fell today!

I didn't feel the slightest bit guilty or angry at all!

Also, I was clean for a day longer this time than I was the last time!

PLUS - this gives me an opportunity to stop watching all video media (except for Torah and mitzvah related videos) - no more TV, no more movies, nothing.

I got so accustomed to watching regular TV shows and movies, that it was less of a shock to watch the stuff that gets me going.

Baruch Hashem - the yetzer hara got his sin outta me, but it didn't get any anger, depression or guilt!

I love mein tattale in himmel and I'm so excited to have the opportunity to realign my priorities and emerge from this fall even stronger!
Last Edit: by BT2001.

Re: How do I know if I'm really an addict? 12 Nov 2009 16:09 #27975

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I'm so happy that I fell today!


I think that's the first time anyone ever posted that on this forum.

I agree you shouldn't feel shame (I am a mistake), but we need to feel some sort of guilt (I made a mistake) and see how we can make better fences for next time.

Keep the great attitude!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Atat112.

Re: How do I know if I'm really an addict? 12 Nov 2009 19:09 #28012

I've been learning a lot of Breslov (can you tell?)  :

I admitted, regretted, and resolved to do better shortly after my fall.

Then I immersed in the mikvah, said tikkun haklali, and kept learning Torah all day.

I don't think I've ever been this happy before in my life!

It was one line in a Breslov pamphlet that really struck me - "You can't be happy and angry at the same time"  You also can't be happy and depressed.  You also can't be happy and worried.

By living life with pure joy, no negative emotions have any room to enter.  No negative emotions, no feelings of deep lacking, no pathetic attempts at illegal stimulation to fill the void - because there is no void!

For the sake of shalom bayis, I'm not gonna grow payos and a long beard while dancing in the streets... ...but Rebbe Nachman was a genius and a True Tzaddik!
Last Edit: by chayimlt.

Re: How do I know if I'm really an addict? 15 Nov 2009 01:45 #28360

  • bochur28
Ok, this week in yeshiva I saw that sefer again and this time I couldn't find it - I know a certain talmid chacham with an encyclopedic knowledge of mekoros in halacha - i think ill ask him bli neder this week.
Last Edit: by heythere.
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