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TOPIC: Lomed's Thread 68328 Views

Re: Lomed's Thread 10 Nov 2015 17:56 #268304

  • lomed
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after meeting again with the therapist, he asked me so what are my concerns and questions for him. I posed two questions. 1 if what i am doing for my addiction till now is enough, or i would need much more, such as therapy and/or live SA fellowship? 2 i had other issues that i felt were affecting my performance in other areas in life. i asked can i deal with it separately or i have to tie it to the sex addiction issue?

1 he said he would not push me to live SA meetings. although he felt I can benefit from it, he felt that he would not push me, as long as keep on doing what i did till now, such as going on GYE forum, connecting with others, and phone conference.

He explained that there is in alcohol two kind (or many more) of people. there is DEPENDENT and there is ABUSER. A dependent cannot keep off of the substance even when he is in trouble, such as his wife is on top of him. an abuser can be clean for significant periods when he is need to be off the substance. An abuser is very close to become dependent. a person that can demonstrate a longer streak of being clean, would rather be defined as an abuser, and not dependent.

If I would come to him 10 month ago, he would definitely define me as a dependent. Since I came to him after demonstrating 250 clean days, he felt that I am rather an abuser. if i have a way to stay clean then I should keep doing what helps me stay clean, and not push myself to live SA meetings.

Here is a link more about this issue.

For the second issue that I brought up, and was discussed in length, he felt i would need therapy. But not necessarily an addiction therapist. He (which is an addiction therapist) said that the therapist needs to be aware of the sex issue I have. Then he should tackle the other issues. He actually felt that perhaps tackling the other issues may have a positive effect on the lust issue.

thanks for reading.
I currently attend live SA meetings. Feel free to reach out to me.

Re: Lomed's Thread 10 Nov 2015 18:47 #268313

  • Shlomo24
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WOW! i went to an addiction therapist who said the same thing. so what are you going to do with that knowledge?
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

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Re: Lomed's Thread 10 Nov 2015 19:28 #268326

  • lomed
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Shlomo24 wrote:
WOW! i went to an addiction therapist who said the same thing. so what are you going to do with that knowledge?


Well as he said, I will keep doing what I did untill now. I am now searching for a therapist, and maybe I will go for therapy to this therapist.

will see be"h
I currently attend live SA meetings. Feel free to reach out to me.

Re: Lomed's Thread 20 Dec 2015 20:29 #271890

  • Markz
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lomed wrote:
Hi and welcome.

I relate to you what you wrote about going to sleep with masturbation. I have been going to sleep with it almost every day. As a matter of fact, even when was really tired,i used to force myself to stay up and masturbate. I am not sure about your anxiety issue that you mentioned. However keep it here. you are in a place where many of us here the same or similar struggles. We help ourselves and others.

Hatzlacha
My friend
Do you mean this is what you used to do? Or is this your current situation that M is still a regular tradition?
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Re: Lomed's Thread 21 Dec 2015 21:34 #271982

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markz wrote:
lomed wrote:
Hi and welcome.

I relate to you what you wrote about going to sleep with masturbation. I have been going to sleep with it almost every day. As a matter of fact, even when was really tired,i used to force myself to stay up and masturbate. I am not sure about your anxiety issue that you mentioned. However keep it here. you are in a place where many of us here the same or similar struggles. We help ourselves and others.

Hatzlacha
My friend
Do you mean this is what you used to do? Or is this your current situation that M is still a regular tradition?


i used to do it, And can do it at any given day. Hoping to stay sober today.
I currently attend live SA meetings. Feel free to reach out to me.
Last Edit: 21 Dec 2015 21:34 by lomed.

Re: Lomed's Thread 21 Dec 2015 21:42 #271983

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You wrote "I have been..."
Which in simple English means I have recently been

So thanks for clarifying

KOT!!
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Re: Lomed's Thread 27 Jan 2016 22:31 #275712

  • lomed
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hi all chevra,

I have not updated my thread for a long time. BH i am clean for 336 days, and counting one day at a time. there is a big turn in terms of my recovery that I would like to share with you. I started going to SA meetings this week Sunday.

What Happened?
Well, as I wrote I am seeing a therapist. I will try to make it short. Till a year ago I was the happiest person in the world. just one little problem of sex issues, and thats it. At least that is what i thought. However that was not the true facts. I have many issues that i buried with porn and masturbation. once the drug was taken away, i cannot go on with life. life is tough the last year, although I am gratefull to be clean for so long.

After going for therapy a few times, my therapist told me, that if I really want to get helped I need to go to SA meetings. To be honest I felt the same before that, but was confirmed by my therapist. This week is tough on me, as starting to face real people is not an easy thing. However I got to meet many real nice and supportive people. The pain of opening up to others is very tough, and even more my wife is taking it very hard, which is making things tough at home.

I thank Hashem for bringing me to GYE and getting me clean, I thank him for giving me the courage to walk in to a meeting in my own town, where i got to meet people that i know. i pray for his help to get me to recovery from this mess.
I currently attend live SA meetings. Feel free to reach out to me.

Re: Lomed's Thread 27 Jan 2016 23:00 #275715

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You're a great truck to follow, and another major badge on your success story in the making, and I added you a Karma (why can't I give 10 in 1 shot ????????????)

Now, Lomed
I don't know you AT ALL, but I have a great imagination and since I think it may help others I take leisure to write as follows

According to what I gathered from reading your posts, you're a chassidishe yid, so

In other words - you're joining a SA Group in Williamsburg / Bnei Brak / Monroe or somewhere in between.

Now here's someone interested in real trucking upgrades!!!

Lomed - Whenever you need an avatar Trucking image I'll be glad to offer one for you


:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
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Last Edit: 28 Jan 2016 02:06 by Markz.

Re: Lomed's Thread 27 Jan 2016 23:14 #275718

  • lomed
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markz wrote:
You're a great truck to follow, and another major badge on your success story in the making, and I added you a Karma (why can't I give 10 in 1 shot ????????????)

Now, Lomed
I don't know you AT ALL, but I have a great imagination and since I think it may help others I take leisure to write as follows

According to what I gathered from reading your posts, you're a chassidishe yid, so

In other words - you're joining a SA Group in Williamsburg / Bnei Brak / Monroe or somewhere in between.

Now here's someone interested in real trucking upgrades!!!

Whenever you need an avatar Trucking image I'll be glad to offer one for you


:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!


non of the above. but Yes i am Chasidish and attended 2 painful meetings in my city where i met 7 people that i know from before! OUCH. But the group as a whole was very welcoming including those that i know from before..
I currently attend live SA meetings. Feel free to reach out to me.

Re: Lomed's Thread 28 Jan 2016 01:12 #275736

  • Shlomo24
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Welcome to the dark side
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Lomed's Thread 28 Jan 2016 01:13 #275738

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Shlomo24 wrote:
Welcome to the dark side
Did you have to
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
?
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Last Edit: 28 Jan 2016 01:13 by Markz.

Re: Lomed's Thread 28 Jan 2016 01:22 #275742

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Lomed

Sorry to hear
Great to hear

Iyh it should help you deal with all the stuff.

B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

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Re: Lomed's Thread 25 Feb 2016 18:52 #279260

  • lomed
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אודה ה' מאד בפי ובתוך רבים אהללנו

I would like to take a moment and share the gratitude that I have today, reaching A full year of sobriety. I thank Hashem that after 17 years of acting out, He took me and gracefully brought to this point. This accomplishment is a thing that I would swear you a year ago that it will never happen. However Hashem has had רחמנות on me and helped get here.

עד הנה עזרוני רחמיך ולא עזבוני חסדיך, you have helped me so much to get here, I ask from you please, if I may, ואל תטשינו לנצח, please dont leave me alone. i cant do this in my own, hashem help me stay sober one day at a time, and help me heal from all my difficulties ad to be able to accept what I cannot change ant to live the life the way you hashem wants for me.

At this time it is understanded to thank a few friends especially Dov and Belmont. Without you I would never have succeeded, you were a Shaliach from Hashem to be at my side. The same goes to all members that I have had contact here. May Hashem grant us all true sobriety and recovery, may we all heal from this and live up to what hashem wants for us.

Last but not least I want to extend my thanks to the Guard your eyes organization. Yes I owe you my life.

Thank you
I currently attend live SA meetings. Feel free to reach out to me.
Last Edit: 25 Feb 2016 18:52 by lomed.

Re: Lomed's Thread 25 Feb 2016 19:05 #279261

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 

KUTGW!!!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



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Last Edit: 25 Feb 2016 19:07 by Gevura Shebyesod.

Re: Lomed's Thread 03 May 2016 22:49 #286547

  • stillgoing
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Hi Lomed, its been a while. Are you still goin to meetings? 
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Last Edit: 03 May 2016 22:53 by stillgoing.
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