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Bigmoish's path to tahara
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Bigmoish's path to tahara 69581 Views

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 21 Aug 2014 02:10 #237697

  • lavi
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hi big em
i think you have raised a point, that all of us struggle with.
in my opinion one has to find a reason or reasons why this struggle is a must.
and what is for one isn't neccessarily for the other.
it takes some really deep digging inside though.
and it hurts too.
i found that all my anger about my situation was really bothering me, and maybe if i could a little bit accept the present, then it was easier to face my life like a man.
either way, keep on posting, great to hear from you,
i love you all

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 22 Aug 2014 20:56 #237762

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I heard a vort last night regarding the parsha of עיר הנדחת that I relate to.
The 'אור החיים הק explains that Hashem gives an extra measure of רחמנות to those who wipe out the city, because a person is נגרר אחר מעשיו, so if he murders, even for a mitzvah, his natural מדת הרחמנות is diminished. The speaker then told of a פסק regarding wearing רבינו תם תפלין. Even though it is brought down in some places that one must be holding on a high מדריגה in order to wear them, one פוסק (I don't remember who) said that even if a person is not there yet, he should still wear them, as the action has the capability to lift him up. If an act of murder, even for a mitzvah, can negatively affect someone, certainly any positive action has a positive effect on a person's ruchniyus.

I was thinking about how many times I got up from acting out and felt ridiculous trying to guard my eyes in the street. But I guess the truth is that every time we do an action like not taking another look, it still makes an impact.
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 24 Aug 2014 10:07 #237805

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Hey Bigmoish, just read about your fall last week.

It's awesome to see that you're back with gusto, that itself should show you that you've improved, you're not back at step one, not all that effort was for waste (actually none of it went to waste, but that's more difficult to see when I'm just after giving in)

KUTCaH!!! KOMT!!!!!!! and please KOP!!!!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 24 Aug 2014 18:07 #237820

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Pidaini wrote:
KUTCaH!!!


if i may ask.....
????????

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 24 Aug 2014 18:26 #237824

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dd wrote:
Pidaini wrote:
KUTCaH!!!


if i may ask.....
????????


Gevurah? Zemmy? can you guys help this poor fellow out?
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 24 Aug 2014 22:29 #237849

  • dd
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Pidaini wrote:
dd wrote:
Pidaini wrote:
KUTCaH!!!


if i may ask.....
????????


Gevurah? Zemmy? can you guys help this poor fellow out?


ok and know......

??????????????

poor and (but) fellow you couldn't have said it better!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 26 Aug 2014 05:57 #237926

  • ZemirosShabbos
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Keep up the kalman and hersheling
I mean calvin and hobbesing
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 27 Aug 2014 22:47 #238104

  • Bigmoish
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The responsible way to live.
calvin-prettyafternoon.gif
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 03 Sep 2014 07:36 #238566

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Whoa. I just logged on and saw that my current streak (or lack thereof) is on display like dirty laundry. I was going to hide it again, but I guess once it's up there, might as well use it as a little motivation.

I just heard in a shiur that the משנה ברורה says ('קכב:ס"ק ח) in the name of the חיי אדם:
נכון וראוי לכל אדם להתפלל בכל יום ביחוד על צרכיו ופרנסתו, ושלא ימוש התורה מפיו וזרעו וזרע זרעו, וכו
The speaker was surprised that the חיי אדם first mentioned physical needs, but, although it may sound different than what you would expect the פסק to be, I don't think this is a חידוש.
You cannot focus on your true avoda without being physically, emotionally, and mentally מיושב. That is not to say that everything needs to be perfect, but it is definitely something appropriate to daven for first.

Similarly, the first step to teshuva is a physical healing of the illness that is our addiction, whichever path we decide works for us.
(Another parnassa comparison:)
Attempting to heal ourselves only by doing spiritual teshuva seems to me like the parnassa method of ר' שמעון בר יוחאי:
הרבה עשו כמותו, ולא עלתו בידן
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!
Last Edit: 03 Sep 2014 07:38 by Bigmoish.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 03 Sep 2014 09:02 #238577

  • lavi
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maybe even r.shimons approach in parnassa is more likely!
i love you all

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 03 Sep 2014 09:05 #238578

  • skeptical
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Bigmoish
Whoa. I just logged on and saw that my current streak (or lack thereof) is on display like dirty laundry.


Everyone's gotta start somewhere!
Last Edit: 03 Sep 2014 09:07 by skeptical.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 03 Sep 2014 09:47 #238579

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skeptical wrote:
Bigmoish
Whoa. I just logged on and saw that my current streak (or lack thereof) is on display like dirty laundry.


Everyone's gotta start somewhere!

Yeah, but since a lot of people don't seem to believe in updating their streaks, it compromises the motivational value in way. I don't mean to pry,but is your streak really at zero,or do you simply not do the 90 day chart?

Lavi - I don't fully comprehend your comment
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 03 Sep 2014 10:11 #238580

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there is a vort from the holy mezritcher magid zy"a א קליינע לאך אין דער גוף איז א גרויסע לאך אין די נשמה, meaning a small hole in the guf is a big hole in the neshamah, so to be able to focus on ruchnios we need the complete guf so we need to daven first for gashmios,


i once heard a הוספה to the vort that if a small hole in the guf is a problem then a small hole in the נפש meaning emotionally is for sure a bigger problem,

KOL TUV!!!
Last Edit: 03 Sep 2014 10:14 by dd.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 03 Sep 2014 17:14 #238602

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Hey there Big guy!!

Have a look here, might clear some things up for you.

Dov is always writing how derech eretz kadma latorah, bringing out this exact point, if "I" am not here, then there can't be anything real. period.

KOMT!!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 03 Sep 2014 18:11 #238612

  • skeptical
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Bigmoish wrote:
skeptical wrote:
Bigmoish
Whoa. I just logged on and saw that my current streak (or lack thereof) is on display like dirty laundry.


Everyone's gotta start somewhere!

Yeah, but since a lot of people don't seem to believe in updating their streaks, it compromises the motivational value in way. I don't mean to pry,but is your streak really at zero,or do you simply not do the 90 day chart?


I'm not on the 90 day chart.
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