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Bigmoish's path to tahara
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Bigmoish's path to tahara 72301 Views

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 29 Jun 2015 17:41 #258067

  • shlomo613
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Private any day for me. Who needs the hassle of having to commandeer other people.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 29 Jun 2015 17:47 #258068

  • cordnoy
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Such great comments. ...all from one joke.

Now if we can only figure out how to get mr psm to smile. ...
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 29 Jun 2015 17:49 #258070

  • shlomo613
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Tried and proven: tell him to hold a pencil above his upper lip

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 29 Jun 2015 17:50 #258071

  • serenity
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I tried it and it falls when I smile :0
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 29 Jun 2015 19:25 #258077

  • shlomo613
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Aha! You smiled!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 19 Jul 2015 02:26 #259765

  • Bigmoish
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I am feeling down. I know that all that really matters is that I do my best, but it still bothers me that I have a strong attraction to my sister in law. I can't constanty share these feelings with my wife (although she knows about them) because they make her feel inadequate or at fault in some way, which is far from the truth. I feel bad that she suffers even though she does everything she can to try to help me.
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 19 Jul 2015 02:56 #259767

  • serenity
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I'm far from an expert, but I can't see any time that you should ever share that feeling with your wife. I'm pretty sure that your attraction to your sister-in-law is pretty normal. The fact that you let that attraction consume you, may not be. What does your therapist say about it?
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 19 Jul 2015 02:57 #259768

  • Bigmoish
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He (or she) doesn't exist
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!
Last Edit: 19 Jul 2015 02:59 by Bigmoish.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 19 Jul 2015 03:43 #259773

  • serenity
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Wow, that can't be easy.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 19 Jul 2015 06:02 #259782

  • cordnoy
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serenity wrote:
I'm far from an expert, but I can't see any time that you should ever share that feeling with your wife. I'm pretty sure that your attraction to your sister-in-law is pretty normal. The fact that you let that attraction consume you, may not be. What does your therapist say about it?

Not that i wanna get into a discussion, but "attraction" - yes; "consume" - no? I don't really get it.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 19 Jul 2015 06:13 #259783

  • serenity
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That's a good sign.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 19 Jul 2015 12:25 #259790

  • neshamaincharge
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I feel for you moish. Daven. We'll daven for you too. Many of us have a similar issue.
Wishing you much hatzlacha!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 19 Jul 2015 12:25 #259791

  • unanumun
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Perhaps maybe set aside ten minutes a day (or less) where you write down reasons why you shouldn't be attracted to her.
Try to get to a point at least once every few days where for at least a few seconds you feel absolutely no attraction for her. And if she would walk into the room during those seconds, you still would feel no attraction.
Start small and eventually you might be able to internalize it for longer periods of time.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 19 Jul 2015 13:41 #259797

  • Bigmoish
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I'm well aware of all the reasons I shouldn't be attracted to her. Thinking about her at all is usually a bad idea.
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 19 Jul 2015 13:44 #259798

  • newaction
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Your sil was not meant for you.
- she will not help you come to your shleimus, your wife will.
- you dont really know her deep inside , appearances deceive.
- she doesnt love your kids like your wife loves them
- she doesnt really appreciates you like your wife does , again dont deceive yourself
- deep inside your wife , you are the one and only man.
- your wife has molded herself to fit your likes and dislikes , not necessarily your sil.
- There are so many things i cant think about that G.od knows why he chose your wife for you.
- you want your wife to feel she is the one and only for you and in your heart
- your wife feels 100 % safe knowing you are there for her - in life
- it is in your capabilities to think big about your wife and small about sil
- Let's see a list of good (special) things your wife has that you like and
- everyday add something new to your list
- what makes your wife so special
- i am stopping here because i feel i want to meet your wife , not your sil.

I think your wife makes you a rich man , just by having her , the millions will come later.
Hatzlacha.
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