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Bigmoish's path to tahara
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Bigmoish's path to tahara 70230 Views

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 03 Dec 2014 04:55 #244494

  • dd
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  • כל זמן שהנשמה בקרבי מודה אני לפניך
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Moish I was gone for a while so I just read the update while catching up on the site.

Like cordnoy said we all really feel with you and I hope your adjusting to the concept of you wife knowing.

You do seem to be dealing with it pretty well so KOMT!!!!

We're all with you so KUTGW!!!!

Unanumun I was really laughing hard when I saw the post about chutz l'aretz being metamtem (actually tried to keep it low so my wife doesn't hear me laughing while i'm on the computer she doesn't know yet because I cant decide if I should send a women or tell her myself).

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 15 Dec 2014 22:01 #245179

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I had a stressful day at home yesterday (whether the stress was real or perceived, yesh ladun), and I really wanted to act out. Maybe it's just been a while since I fed the beast, I don't know. Thanks to all those who respond to my desperate pleas for help at midnight or later and calmly walk me back from the edge. (Even if it may not be midnight where y'all are.)
I am far from out of the woods, though, and bracing for another day of "battle."
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 15 Dec 2014 22:15 #245180

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I know like this.
My lustful slips/falls have lasted a week or two, and I was in it constantly (seemingly different than others).
If, however, your thought process is: "I was lustful yesterday, but never satisfied myself, so tonight's gonna be a whopper of a struggle," may I suggest the simple thought process of: Not every lustful thought needs a conclusion; they can remain just as they are/were....a lustful thought.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 20:34 #245233

  • Shmeichel
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Bigmoish wrote:
I had a stressful day at home yesterday (whether the stress was real or perceived, yesh ladun), and I really wanted to act out. Maybe it's just been a while since I fed the beast, I don't know. Thanks to all those who respond to my desperate pleas for help at midnight or later and calmly walk me back from the edge. (Even if it may not be midnight where y'all are.)
I am far from out of the woods, though, and bracing for another day of "battle."

maybe she lost a glove?
when going forward gets tough, its merely a sign that you are going uphill, just give more gas
put your sobriety first; before your wife, before your kids, before your avodas HaTorah (except for the 3 that are יעבור ואל יהרג) Without sobriety you won't have any of those things!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 20:47 #245234

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Extra credit for paying attention
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 20:51 #245235

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I try to pay attention to details (especially yours), but I missed the reference to 'gloves.'
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 20:53 #245236

  • Bigmoish
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Last post on page 12
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 21:27 #245241

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That was on beginnin' of travel....

I actually now remember it.

what did she mean with the competition line?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Dec 2014 21:42 #245242

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It was a half-joking (at most) reference to her sister.
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 17 Dec 2014 01:52 #245254

  • neshamaincharge
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Just letting you know that I get excited when I log on to the and see that you posted.
Keep it coming!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 17 Dec 2014 02:41 #245256

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Talk about pressure!
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 17 Dec 2014 04:34 #245263

  • cordnoy
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neshamaincharge wrote:
Just letting you know that I get excited when I log on to the and see that you posted.
Keep it coming!


This entire post was triggerin'
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 01 Jan 2015 06:23 #246373

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A couple of weeks ago, I had been thinking about the concept of transferring our lust of women to "lust" for Hashem, so to speak. I think it was the subject of a chizuk email and perhaps was subsequently debated on the forum. I was a little bothered about whether or not it was actually possible at the time.
Then on Thursday night, I was at a shiur, and I had a hard time staying awake. I thought to myself that if there was a certain woman standing in front of me, I probably would not be sleeping. I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but I attempted to equate knowing the information being given over at that shiur with getting close to the object of my lust. It did help me stay awake, and I came to a certain understanding in the aforementioned concept. It cannot help me "redirect" my lust away from women. However, perhaps I can use it to help me focus on my learning at times that I don't feel in the mood.
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 02 Jan 2015 00:07 #246424

  • inastruggle
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I think you have a good point. If we had a strong enough lust to attain closeness to Hashem, then we wouldn't be busy with our lust for women. The pleasure we can get our of a closeness to Hashem is infinite, and the pleasure out of women, is quite finite.
A member of oink once said that he asked a certain gadol if he has the same lust to Hashem as he has to women, and the gadol answered that he has way more lust toward Hashem.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 02 Jan 2015 12:52 #246480

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The point I was making was actually contrary to yours, I think.
I was saying that although I found that it's possible for me to use lust as a tool to come to a closer relationship with Hashem, I can't use that as a mechanism to fight my inappropriate lusting. Maybe if I keep using the positive "lust" the other one will diminish. But I'm not banking on it.
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!
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