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GYE

Forum for Jewish Men

On the Way to 90-Days

Bigmoish's path to tahara

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Bigmoish's path to tahara 69821 Views

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 14 Nov 2014 23:58 #243470

dms1234 Current streak: 767 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1106 Karma: 49	I am not crazy! I am not crazy! i think if i say it more, i will start believing it.....
	I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 15 Nov 2014 01:46 #243474

Gevura Shebyesod
Current streak: 160 days
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 4008
Karma: 460

If you walk down the street screaming it at the top of your lungs, everyone else will start believing it too!

!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...

"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Nov 2014 04:55 #243485

inastruggle Current streak: 25 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary.... Posts: 1263 Karma: 35	Ven ich vult gehat koiach....

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Nov 2014 05:32 #243488

Metal King Current streak: 1099 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 87 Karma: 8	Gevura Shebyesod wrote: If you walk down the street screaming it at the top of your lungs, everyone else will start believing it too! I walked down the street screaming, "DMS1234 isn't crazy! DMS1234 isn't crazy!" I'm not sure they believed me.
	My two favorite Rebbe Nachman quotes: The whole world is a narrow bridge; the main thing is to not be afraid. If you won't be better tomorrow than you were today, then what do you need tomorrow for?

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Nov 2014 11:25 #243518

lavi
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Platinum Boarder
Posts: 584
Karma: 22

cordnoy wrote:

I understand what the oilam is sayin', but I'd like to put this in perspective, and I'd like us to back off from Big Moish.
I know many stories from fellows on this site, and I certainly know my own.
Which one of us is not crazy?
The extent we would go for our personal desire, obsession and fetish!
Now, there are professionals who state the claim that most of these passions are well within the realm of men expressin' their sexuality, but I will not go there.
Let us even say that we are wrong (as frum Jews) or extreme (on the planet), but ultimately, that is our obsession; that is our nisayon; this is our sickness!

Now, I am not pickin' on Inna for the term 'meshuga,' for that is really what it is...meshuga l'oso davar....but it is not so simple for Big Moish to remove his s.i.l. from his mind; it is not so simple for others to remove their fixation; and yes, it ain't so easy for me either! I have said goodbye several times already in the past three years, only to say hello once again. What's up with that? My fixation will be the in-depth topic of discussion by my next appointment with specialist, so perhaps that will become clearer.

In any event....fixation, obsession, fetish, etc. whatever da Hell it is...it is much easier to ignore when the battle cry simply is: Today! Damn it! Today!

b'hatzlachah

a tool that has somtimes worked for me:

try to get crazy about a good thing, and pour everything into it. even if it is a bit extreme, crazyness needs outlets.

i love you all

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 16 Nov 2014 13:15 #243522

pischoshelmachat OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 492 Karma: 42	Moish You are gevaldig. I would love to shmooze with you. Can you please email me pischoshelmachat@gmail.com?

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 21 Nov 2014 02:26 #243835

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 70	the path is quiet lately
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 24 Nov 2014 07:14 #243954

Metal King Current streak: 1099 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 87 Karma: 8	There once was a poster named BigMoish, Whom everyone liked without choice, We miss his red wagon, His update's a laggin', His return will make us all rejoice!
	My two favorite Rebbe Nachman quotes: The whole world is a narrow bridge; the main thing is to not be afraid. If you won't be better tomorrow than you were today, then what do you need tomorrow for?

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 25 Nov 2014 02:24 #244040

Bigmoish
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1152
Karma: 167

REJOICE!

(Though I really wasn't gone, as many who have emailed, chatted, and spoken with me can attest.)

Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 26 Nov 2014 02:21 #244114

Bigmoish
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1152
Karma: 167

I guess I'm long overdue for an update.
Last motzaei Shabbos, my wife told me that she "knew about her sister."
She didn't elaborate at the time, but she later told me that she noticed my GYE account about a month ago and saw that it said something about me being attracted to her sister. She didn't read any more, partly because she realized it was private, and respected that, and partly because she preferred to be in denial.
I didn't know exactly what she did and didn't know, but the secrecy had been bothering me more than anything else, so I manned up and admitted to everything.
I told her that even though it makes no sense, and I know that she is the perfect and only woman for me (I do believe that), I struggle with an attractionto her sister.
I admitted to watching porn and masturbating (though I don't think she understands the severity of masturbation).
She was, as expected, scared, nervous, afraid, distraught, worried, etc.
After several days of intense conversations about it, I think she understands me a little bit better. I feel that although it's still my issue and not hers (which I will need to continue reinforcing), I can now be more open with her.
Every situation is unique, and I know I am very lucky that my wife is so understanding. Anyone who is considering spilling everything to their wives should probably speak to a professional first.
Additionally:
I still feel like lusting at times.
I still feel attracted to my SIL.
But I do feel like I'm starting a new chapter in some ways.

Thanks to everyone who has shown their support and concern for me over the last few weeks.

Kol Tuv,
Moish

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 26 Nov 2014 03:39 #244120

dms1234 Current streak: 767 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1106 Karma: 49	BIG step by Bigmoish! KOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
	I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor. Last Edit: 26 Nov 2014 03:42 by dms1234.

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 26 Nov 2014 03:44 #244121

Metal King Current streak: 1099 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 87 Karma: 8	Dont those shoulders feel so much better without all that weight on them? :-)
	My two favorite Rebbe Nachman quotes: The whole world is a narrow bridge; the main thing is to not be afraid. If you won't be better tomorrow than you were today, then what do you need tomorrow for?

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 26 Nov 2014 04:30 #244124

Watson OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1280 Karma: 85	Thank you Moish. My experience was similar, Hashem made it clear to me when the time to tell had arrived. My wife was angry for a few days, then she calmed down, then she was happy and proud that I was working on it. Now she is very helpful and supportive. KOT.
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Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 26 Nov 2014 04:31 #244125

cordnoy
OFFLINE
Moderator
I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
Posts: 11442
Karma: 567

It really was/is a great post!
Someone recently posted about GYE losin' its luster (at least for him).
It is posts like this one which demonstrate how close we really are to each other.
Who didn't shed a tear upon readin' Big Moish's update?
who didn't breathe a sigh of relief upon readin' that his wife is kinda understandin' about the issue?
Who didn't get up and high-five his secre....oops! sorry!

Bottom line is that we are thrilled for you; we couldn't be happier.

Keep up the great work, the positive attitude and continue buildin' on that relationship!

b'hatzlachah

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."

Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Last Edit: 26 Nov 2014 04:32 by cordnoy. Reason: grammar

Re: Bigmoish's path to tahara 26 Nov 2014 07:31 #244128

dms1234 Current streak: 767 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1106 Karma: 49	Cordnoy Who didn't get up and high-five his secre....oops! sorry! I wish i had a secretary to high-five........ Warning: Spoiler! MY LIFE IS CRAZY!!!!!!!!
	I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor.