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laughingman tries to count to 90........
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TOPIC: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 116227 Views

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 29 Apr 2021 23:47 #367685

  • OivedElokim
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Now everyone knows OTR’s deepest darkest secrets.

Its a shame we don’t know anybody named OTR...
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
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Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 29 Apr 2021 23:54 #367687

  • OTR
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OivedElokim wrote on 29 Apr 2021 23:47:
Now everyone knows OTR’s deepest darkest secrets.

Its a shame we don’t know anybody named OTR...
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Lol.. we interrupt the normally scheduled in sanity to bring you some great spontaneous insanity.... 
  • I've never been one for signatures.. but sometimes people change
  • I'm seeking the life that I find manageable which may not be the life you find manageable. But let's make a deal. I want you to find yours and you want me to find mine even if they are different.

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 06 Aug 2021 05:29 #371475

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I haven't been here in a while .....ages ......for a while now I have been steadily whittling down my various problems but more arrive 

Me and my wife are in totally different places in belief 

I do and she doesnt 

Our marriage is based on mutual concern for each other and caring for the kids and the fact that separation is not really possible and is further complicated by her illness as she is disabled but not receiving any benefits 

Another issue is the car 

As of this writing I have to return the car on יום ראשון 

And have no way of getting another that fits my actual needs 

I am still in bankruptcy 

i am at a phase where i mostly only literally have guarding my eyes issues i.e. i frequently turn to p*** as an outlet for frustration 

When I do I immediately go to the mikveh and several other things ......to note I dont ma******te and I literally just look ......still horrible 

Also my wife will be niddah for the foreseeable future with no mikveh or alternative available or that she is willing to deal with or able to 

As far as the ma*********ion there was yesterday after a actually decent and fun day at a water park ........I was sooo frustrated at night that again I turned to po** and then ma********d till the end .......I feel devastated and disgusting......

I have more support but for various reasons I have to wait now 2 weeks to see my therapist ......oh well .....

I feel like i just cant get up the levels I want to 

I have been trying here since 2013 ....and made EVERY error imaginable 

Time is running out for me .........I cannot beat this ......there is a sa group in Haifa i never checked on......wonder if thats a way to go 

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 17 Aug 2021 20:36 #371700

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First thing is to learn how to write out the words masturbation and pornography. They are not monsters. They are exactly what they are and nothing more. Don't be afraid of them. Take them out of the closet and disect them....
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 21 Sep 2021 21:43 #372608

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I actually thought I was doing that for others as I try not to trigger others .....I have no problem spelling it out 

And they are monsters 

Me and my wife are at or near a junction in life 

We are different people than we were when we started out and we have alot of real issues 

Many of which i created but i am not my problems......and i need a partner in life one way or another 

Everyone deserves as many chances as they need 

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 17 Jul 2022 16:31 #383461

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I haven't been here in a looong while 

Soo me andand my wife are sorta seperatd

I am living in fear of everything 

I dont masTecate but i watch ridiculous amounts of porn sometimes 

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 19 Jul 2022 04:29 #383554

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laughingman wrote on 17 Jul 2022 16:31:
I haven't been here in a looong while 

Soo me andand my wife are sorta seperatd

I am living in fear of everything 

I dont masTecate but i watch ridiculous amounts of porn sometimes 

welcome back ,i hope everything will work out with your wife,hatzlacha raba! 
since you havent been here in a while just letting you know that there is a great program here called flight2freedom, its great ,check it out!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 19 Jul 2022 04:31 by sleepy.

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 19 Jul 2022 12:56 #383557

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Welcome back. Dont be a stranger 
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection
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