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On the way to 90 (and Beyond)
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: On the way to 90 (and Beyond) 19263 Views

Re: On the way to 90 16 Mar 2009 23:33 #3809

  • the.guard
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I always thought, you know, people who are religious from birth, or even Balei Teshuvah or converts, who knows if their intentions are truly for the sake of heaven? Maybe that's just how they were brought up, or maybe there are all types of ulterior motives involved? But one thing is for certain, if you are on this forum, if you are fighting this battle against the Yetzer Hara - which is a battle no one knows about and no one sees... a battle that takes so much effort and yet is hidden from the eyes - then you can be sure that your motives are pure!!

Happy is your lot Ben, and happy are all those who follow your example!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: On the way to 90 18 Mar 2009 20:14 #3850

  • Binyomin5766
Either tonight or tomorrow night I am planning on going out and buying a bottle of Scotch and some herring.  If all goes well, I will be drinking a L'Chaim at Shabbos day kiddush.  Life is busy, and that is good.  A busy life leaves little time for the mind to go where it doesn't belong.  Oh yeah, I have to make sure I have some pareve crackers to go with the herring...
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Re: On the way to 90 19 Mar 2009 00:48 #3859

  • the.guard
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Lichayim Ben!  ;D We will all have you in mind at our kiddush. We will be with you in "spirit" (no-pun intended :-)
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: On the way to 90 19 Mar 2009 12:12 #3865

  • Binyomin5766
Actually you would have to be with me in "spirits." (pun intended and enjoyed way too much).

Day 88 clean completed yesterday.  I am continuing to spiritually and psychologically prepare myself for a new phase of the fight.  With the milestone about to be fewer and further between, I have to take a different approach.  No more "Just x more days until...."  Now the war will become about taking new ground in my life and committing it to Hashem.  I can't allow myself to get into a trench mentality, for that leads only to stalemate.  Instead, I must work day by day to advance, even if it is only just a fraction of an inch.  The object is to keep moving forward in kedusha.  While I must keep a focus on being shmiras habris, the field of battle must also be expanded.  There are many areas of my spiritual life that must be strengthened.  It is so easy to get tunnel vision, to get overly focused on just one thing.  In a lot of ways, I believe the addiction is actually a symptom.  We try to fill ourselves with pleasures and, as has been so well demonstrated in the story in the chizuk email, we find that the quick and easy pleasure only leaves us empty.  Day by day, I must work harder to fill myself with Hashem and Torah.
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Re: On the way to 90 19 Mar 2009 12:44 #3867

  • battleworn
Still think everyone should learn from me, Battleworn? 


I'm absolutely positively 100% certain that everyone should learn from you!!! But by now, nobody needs me to tell them that; it's abundantly obvious!
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Re: On the way to 90 19 Mar 2009 13:44 #3872

  • the.guard
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Powerful stuff, Ben. Thanks for the inspiration!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: On the way to 90 19 Mar 2009 19:56 #3895

  • ano nymous
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Amazing Ben!! You should continue to see much success in everything you do (for the right reasons). :D
Congrats!!
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Re: On the way to 90 20 Mar 2009 14:41 #3911

  • Binyomin5766
All that praise is a bit embarrassing!  At any rate if all goes well I will complete my 90th day tonight!  My wife bought the herring yesterday and I'm buying the scotch on the way home this afternoon.  G-d willing, I will be drinking a L'Chaim at my Shabbos day meal.  I almost wish I had a partner in town to celebrate with.  My wife knows and she will be with me to drink the L'Chaim, but in some respects I don't think she really understands what I've been struggling with or how difficult making this change has been.

Have a wonderful Shabbos everyone!
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Re: On the way to 90 20 Mar 2009 18:51 #3916

  • StrivingJew2
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You inspire me to carry on fighting, today is B''H my 63rd day clean. Reading your battle helps me follow in your footsteps.
Enjoy the herring.
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Re: On the way to 90 21 Mar 2009 19:40 #3917

  • Ykv_schwartz
Mazel Tov Ben.  Your accomplishments give us all great chizzuk.
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Re: On the way to 90 21 Mar 2009 21:41 #3924

  • the.guard
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Ben, I'm sorry I had to remove you from the 90 day chart....

BUT I PUT YOU UP ON THE "WALL-OF-HASHEM'S-HONOR" CHART INSTEAD!!!

MAZAL TOV. MAZAL TOV! I had a lechayim with some herring this Shabbos morning, especially in your honor!

May this be the start of a new phase in your progress. May you go Me'Chayil el Choyil -- Strength to Strength!

In honor of your reaching 90 days, I want to share with you a beautiful excerpt from an eye-opening article that Boruch shared with me recently.

For the full article, see here.

What the original AAs were shooting for - and what they aimed their program at - was not mere sobriety. That
would have been the "common-sense" approach, the way of worldly wisdom, the reasonable-level-of-aspiration
gambit. But the founders of AA were men moved by inspiration. They were coming at the problem with the
uncommon sense of men under guidance.

The common-sense approach had already been tried and it had failed. If you set a drunk's level of aspiration at
mere abstinence - "'Why don't you be a good fellow, use your will power; and give the stuff up” - it did not work.
The poor candidate for reform was back drinking again in short order. The discovery that launched AA in the first
place was that if an alcoholic were somehow to be rocketed into a state way beyond abstinence, if he were to
achieve a real spiritual conversion, an utterly new relationship with God, then permanent abstinence would
automatically occur as a blessed and life-saving by-product. That was how it happened with Bill. That was how it
happened with Dr. Bob. That was how it happened with most of the first hundred members.


And I bless you, that THAT is how it should happen with you, BEN!

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: On the way to 90 22 Mar 2009 01:19 #3941

  • Binyomin5766
Thank you, everyone!  I had my L'Chaim today.  My son enjoyed it, but my wife took a sip and that was it.  (BTW, my son has no idea that I have this addiction that I'm fighting.)

This is indeed a new phase, like I posted before.  I now need to transition out of the milestone mentality.  G-d willing, I will expand this journey into a complete spiritual overhaul.  At any rate, a gitte woch to everyone!
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Re: On the way to 90 28 Mar 2009 23:33 #4220

  • the.guard
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So we don't get to hear from you any more Ben, now that you hit 90? It should be the opposite. Now you are promoted to give OTHERS Chizuk as well!  ;D
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: On the way to 90 29 Mar 2009 01:31 #4221

  • Binyomin5766
I'm hurt.

I have actually replied here and there on other threads, just not very often.  Life is a little hectic at the moment.  Work, especially, has been busy.  Out of three programmers in the company, I've been the only one in office most days.  And to make life interesting, I've had to pinch hit for my manager in a few situations.  I really don't use the computer at home, so there you go, my time is pretty much gone.  Things are still going well on my end, but you're right, GUE, I should be moving up to giving others chizuk in my own little way.  I may not have the yeshiva education, but at least I have lots of life experience to draw on....
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Re: On the way to 90 31 Mar 2009 10:55 #4277

  • battleworn
In addition to experience, you also have a very special Neshomoh, that produces great chizuk. You have a whole lot to offer to all the holy warriors on this forum. So keep the tips and chizuk coming as much as you can!
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