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On the way to 90 (and Beyond)
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: On the way to 90 (and Beyond) 19354 Views

On the way to 90 (and Beyond) 31 Dec 2008 13:57 #1752

  • Binyomin5766
Well, I've been clean for 10 days now.  Getting through the nights is the most difficult because that is when I've been most likely to fall.  On the other hand, my state of mind and the content of my thoughts during the day are the fuel for the fire.  If I can control my mind during the day, controlling my body at night is that much easier.  Some days have been more difficult, and my coworkers aren't exactly concerned about purity or modesty or any other such thing.  G-d willing, I'll make it through today and then get a bit of a break.  I have company paid holidays tomorrow and Friday (and at least some of my family will be with me each day).  Shabbos has always been easier for me, so it's possible that things will be smoother for four days.  I just have to get through today!
Last Edit: 13 May 2009 11:52 by Gokaiger.

Re: On the way to 90 31 Dec 2008 17:24 #1757

  • PostalServicio
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we all believe you can do it...keep fighting!
Last Edit: by isaac.

Re: On the way to 90 31 Dec 2008 22:33 #1762

  • the.guard
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Ah, the sweet sounds of a Jew struggling with his yetzer Hara! How this gives pleasure to Hashem above!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Snuck.

Re: On the way to 90 01 Jan 2009 21:25 #1774

  • the.guard
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Binyomin, you're doing great.

I want to put you up on the chart of the journey to 90 days. See this page and send me your info.

Keep battling. You are destroying missles and tunnles in Gaza every time you say no to the Yetzer Hara!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by gysponsor.

Re: On the way to 90 01 Jan 2009 22:09 #1776

  • Binyomin5766
Well, last night turned out OK.  I had to struggle to get to sleep without giving in to the Yetzer Hara.

To explain a little: I am a morning person and my wife is a serious night owl, so we rarely go to sleep at the same time.  Thus left alone in the bedroom, I often gave in to my Yetzer Hara over the years.  The fall is always set up during the day though: whether I see an impure sight and dwell on it or I allow my mind to linger over impure thoughts, the pattern always holds the same.  By the time I am going to bed at night my mind is frequently already decided on whether I will remain pure or not.  The fact is though, when I go to bed I still have that one last chance to fight the Y"H and over come.

Guardureyes, I understand what you're saying in my mind.  Now if I can just really believe it, it will be even more chizuk for me the next time I have to fight the battle.  A sense of being side by side with our soldiers in Gaza might be quite a help to me.

Yesterday makes 11 days.  More progress, one day at a time.
Last Edit: by Amber.

Re: On the way to 90 01 Jan 2009 22:18 #1777

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The spiritual war is more powerful than the physical. Did you see the chizuk e-mails on the last two days of chanukah?

You should try to go to sleep the same time as your wife. Not only will this protect you from the yetzer Hara, it will improve your shalom bayis. See if you can convince her to go to sleep earlier.

Do you think the chart might help give you an extra push?

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by roga.

Re: On the way to 90 01 Jan 2009 22:38 #1781

  • Binyomin5766
I saw them and found them very powerful, but I probably could stand to reread them.  Getting my wife to go to bed at the same time I do will be difficult; but I'll try.  I don't know if she really understands yet how much of a challenge this is for me.

I just signed up for the chart; I don't know if it will help but I am going to try it and see.  Every little encouragement I can get I will seek; who knows what will be enough to push me over the top in this battle.
Last Edit: by bestj526.

Re: On the way to 90 02 Jan 2009 17:42 #1802

  • Binyomin5766
Day 12 has passed and I'm still on the wagon.  Had some surprising struggles this morning during davening.  I really had to focus to overcome some images I was generating in my mind.  Old bits of memory of porn usage were cropping up.  The Y"H really takes cheap shots sometimes, bringing up things like this during davening.  At least tonight is Shabbos, and that is almost always a chizuk to me.
Last Edit: by .

Re: On the way to 90 04 Jan 2009 13:24 #1814

  • battleworn
Holy tzadik, when the despicable menuval fights dirty like that, that's the time to really get angry at him and to get get even more in to battle mode!
It's the time to take up all the weapons that are available to you. Like strengthening your ruchnius, working on simcha, your shmiras einayim and all the tips you can find on this forum and on the site.

It's also the time to cry out to Hashem from the bottom of your heart! Tell Him "re'ei b'anyeinu" - look what this filthy rasha is doing to me, "Hagam lichbsh es hamalka imi babayis?" Can't this dirt bag leave me be, at least while I'm having my private time with You - Hashem?

BTW Ben is a great name, if we would remember that we are a "ben" of Hashem the menuval would have no chance at all!
Last Edit: by A_new_begining.

Re: On the way to 90 04 Jan 2009 16:22 #1822

  • Binyomin5766
First, thank you battleworn, for the chizuk.  It's a great way to start the morning.  Hopefully, I will be able to continue ramping up the offensive against the Y"H.  Now I know shmiras einayim is the guarding of the eyes and simcha is joy.  I can't remember ruchnius, though.

Guarding my eyes is a challenge.  Just walking to the checkout line at the grocery... well, need I say more about that?  Beating the years old habit of doing the opposite of guarding my eyes may well be the biggest battle of this whole war.  I've already stopped going to the Fox news website; I like their reporting of national and international events, but the pictures are simply awful.  I've substituted a lot of the Jewish sites recommended on this board, but I have yet to find something with comprehensive coverage that I like (of course Fox wasn't so comprehensive either, BBC is far more comprehensive but I can't stomach their antisemitism).

I made it through last night.  Moetzei Shabbos often presents its own unique challenges.  My wife and I have a date night every Moetzei Shabbos, and we both love books.  Our most frequent destination is a local Barnes and Noble (no Judaica shops here are open Moetzei Shabbos).  I was keenly aware last night of just how many impure images are on display at that store.  It seems browsing a bookstore is a dangerous pasttime for me.  I can probably find something else that my wife will enjoy; I'll just have to work at it.

Davening this morning was more focused for me.  The Gaza situation was weighing heavily on me, so I was able to let my tefilos focus on the IDF and the difficult time they are in right now.

I have now completed 14 days through last night...  Two weeks!  I have had some really difficult battles, but I've made it thus far.  It makes so much of a difference to me to have this board.  Fighting the battles alone was so much more difficult.  Knowing that I'm going to come back to this board to "file my reports" with my fellow soldiers is making a lot of difference.  I guess it has to do with a sense that I'm not alone, that I'm strange for having this problem.  Seeing here and on the GUE site that there are people here who have struggle as long and even longer with this addiction to masturbation and other such things is reassuring.  Seeing that these same people are now fighting and beating the Y"H is empowering.
Last Edit: by a simple jew.

Re: On the way to 90 04 Jan 2009 16:55 #1824

  • battleworn
You are really headed in the right direction! Just keep going and never ever give up!!! Ruchnius is translated as spirituality. In practice it means different things to different people. But the bottom line is concentrating on improving yourself and your relationship with Hashem.
Last Edit: 04 Jan 2009 17:58 by 14abie.

Re: On the way to 90 04 Jan 2009 17:15 #1825

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Ben, you're a Tzadik!

See this page for many great Frum news outlets.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .

Re: On the way to 90 06 Jan 2009 13:16 #1844

  • Binyomin5766
Well, I'm now up to 16 days, but last night was a real struggle.  I just stood in my bedroom for a while (on my way to sleep for the night) and struggled with the Y"H.  I could feel the urge to impurity as a physical thing.  Thankfully, I overcame, but it was a challenge.
Last Edit: by .

Re: On the way to 90 06 Jan 2009 14:03 #1845

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Wow. Knock out!! Those struggles are the stuff of real heroes, not the Hollywood Super hero ideas. These struggles may be very difficult now, but each time you overcome like this it is added to your bank of accomplishments, and when the bank reaches a certain amount - suddenly you will feel free and it will get much easier. Keep up the great work!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Boardingdo.

Re: On the way to 90 06 Jan 2009 14:09 #1846

  • Binyomin5766
Thanks for the chizuk!  I'll need to bank these accomplishments against the future.  I just learned that my company is about to have some layoffs.  My department supposedly won't be touched, but you never know.  I think we all know what a challenge depression can be.  I already went through one short period of unemployment last summer; I really don't need another one (of course, who does?)
Last Edit: by davidk.
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