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Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :)
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Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 3977 Views

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 16 May 2021 02:52 #368617

  • EvedHashem1836
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Its not just photos it can be text as well and very easy to get 

Im in a much better place now motzei shabbos than I was on friday and gonna use this clear headedness to make some changes:

- will update the challenge with new terms (see that thread)

yeah thats pretty much it. trying to fill my time with more Torah and other stuff to leave myself less time for shmutz
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 25 May 2021 17:43 #368991

  • HappyYid
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EvedHashem, did you get lost?
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 27 May 2021 19:12 #369104

  • EvedHashem1836
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I'm back!

For reasons I won't get into I haven't been on GYE for the last few days but now I'm here again!

Holding at 115 days BH
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 06 Jun 2021 04:08 #369492

  • EvedHashem1836
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Update: Been doing exceptionally well and holding at 125 days!

Has been incredible - no major urges at all since my little fiasco right after 90 (so about a month ago). I still get the occasional thought while I'm in bed either going to sleep or waking up but have been pretty good at changing thought topics pretty quickly if that makes sense

If anything have been becoming more vigilant as opposed to more lax. Every night I do a little 10 min "night seder" going through a day of living emunah (rabbi ashear), a day of battle of the generation, and a day of shmiras halashon (newly added yesterday) and this is prob one of the biggest reasons I think I have been really smooth its such constant chizzuk its incredible. I use a hard copy of battle of generation for this easily worth the investment (10 bucks)

My goal was 90 days by elul but bezH I'll have 180 days by then! 

Keeping going strong,

Eved Hashem
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 06 Jun 2021 04:48 #369495

  • HappyYid
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You're awesome!
Keep it up!
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 17 Jun 2021 03:47 #369960

  • EvedHashem1836
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136! more than halfway from 90 to 180

trucking
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 17 Jun 2021 03:57 #369961

  • בינוני
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Wow way to go bro!
Keep up the good work and being an inspiration
My thread: Let's get this party started

Who the heck is Benoni?

Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow. -Gerald Vaughan

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 30 Jun 2021 01:20 #370348

  • EvedHashem1836
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If you asked me in february if I thought I would be where I am today...

Life is so much better this way


I feel kind of guilty because I might be able to help other people more but kind of just don't - part of that is probably due to the weird nature of mentoring 40 year olds as a 18 year old but still feel like I should be doing more.

I think the responsibility would help me too, but don't want anything influencing me to go back to my old ways. Even reading some content here gets me triggered (which is ok, thats the nature of this website), but I wouldn't want that to be something I have the responsibility to deal with.

Thoughts?
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 30 Jun 2021 14:08 #370360

EvedHashem1836 wrote on 30 Jun 2021 01:20:
If you asked me in february if I thought I would be where I am today...

Life is so much better this way


I feel kind of guilty because I might be able to help other people more but kind of just don't - part of that is probably due to the weird nature of mentoring 40 year olds as a 18 year old but still feel like I should be doing more.

I think the responsibility would help me too, but don't want anything influencing me to go back to my old ways. Even reading some content here gets me triggered (which is ok, thats the nature of this website), but I wouldn't want that to be something I have the responsibility to deal with.

Thoughts?

I wouldn't worry about the age gap. If you have something to offer, offer it! In terms of the triggers, if you find yourself in a mentoring role, you can make rules about how many and what kind of details the mentee shares.

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 30 Jun 2021 20:22 #370367

  • Hashem Help Me
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Mentoring married guys may be very triggering. There are enough bochurim out there that can use your chizuk and advice.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 01 Jul 2021 05:08 #370386

Hashem Help Me wrote on 30 Jun 2021 20:22:
Mentoring married guys may be very triggering. There are enough bochurim out there that can use your chizuk and advice.

Probably wouldn't work either, you need to understand someone in order to mentor them and I find it hard to believe that a bachur could understand a married guy.
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 04 Jul 2021 14:39 #370456

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I think you would probably be the most effective with younger students in your school.
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 22 Jul 2021 03:02 #371116

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Hey EvedHashem1836, how's it going?
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 01 Aug 2021 15:17 #371338

  • EvedHashem1836
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180. Big number.

My goal was to get to 90 by elul and now I got to 180 BH.

Recently I've found it more helpful to not be on GYE personally because I often find myself getting triggered here. Which is ok - GYE is not meant to be a trigger free zone, people post about their problems which inevitably will trigger other people. For me the biggest issue though is when people get too specific. They say, last night I struggled with xxxx or xxxxx and I would think to myself what is that so I would head over to google and boom I'd get triggered. Or it would be something I know but I pushed to the back of my head and I'd be reminded again. So for that reason mostly I'd say I haven't been here for a while and not sure if I'm going to return to my active posting ways.

That being said I owe an incredible debt to GYE for bringing me to where I am today - without GYE and the incredible chevra here I doubt i'd have gotten past 14 days over the entire year.

To clarify - I'm not advising dropping GYE I'm just saying what was helpful for me. Also keep in mind that I am not the traditional addict I always had a lot of motivation and drive and never even saw real hardcore porn (although I've seen plenty of really bad stuff that might qualify) so for most people its probably helpful to talk about these things but for me its almost better if I don't talk about it because talking about it almost gives it validity and at this point the less I think about it the less its an issue.
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 01 Aug 2021 15:19 #371339

  • EvedHashem1836
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Shoutout to my buddy HappyYid for being in this journey with me.

My next goal is to work on not touching myself 
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better
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