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Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :)
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Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 3989 Views

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 19 Apr 2021 18:21 #367103

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I have gentech on my computer. Works great. The only thing is that the company manages the filter settings for you. Lets say if you have youtube blocked completely, but want to watch a kosher video on there, you need to request thru them to lighten the filter settings. Usually its not a problem but sometimes, they won't do anything about it until the next day because the work day has ended for them. 

Netspark is another good option- you can customize your own filter settings (when you're feeling strong) and then give the password of your account to someone (maybe parents or a friend) so that you cannot change the settings yourself.

BH i have not fallen to porn with either one installed
Hatzlocha with wtvr you decide to do!
My thread: Let's get this party started

Who the heck is Benoni?

Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow. -Gerald Vaughan

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 20 Apr 2021 19:56 #367178

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Looking for eitzos here from some people who can relate (or even if you can't)

I'm pretty much done with my co ed high school and everyone is making all of these fun activities to do together (which include both genders). I'm under heavy pressure from my friends (who mean well) to attend some of these events where the dress will likely be tznius but still a non moderated event with girls who "flirt" with me and I always find myself thinking about them afterwards. The thing is I always try to back out but sometimes these girls specifically accuse me of avoiding them (which is true) and I want to make sure I'm not nichshal but at the same time not hurt anyone as well. Also the cherry on top is I already kind of socially isolate myself to avoid these things and it would be kind of nice to hang out with everyone. 

I already said I'm not coming but everyone is pestering me to change my mind saying it won't be so bad. What do people think?
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better
Last Edit: 25 Apr 2021 19:32 by EvedHashem1836.

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 21 Apr 2021 07:13 #367193

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Seems like your in a pickle.

It's a really difficult position to be in as you would love to hang out but you know what that will lead to.

I'm responding as noone else offered an eitza (perhaps someone pm you a response?)

You already made up your mind not to go as you realize it's detrimental to your goals/values.
If you were asking me I think you are making the right decision.

however it's always good to get some guidance from someone that knows you and can help you come to a decision based on where your holding.

Are there any other guys you can hang out with and do your own thing? Are there no breakaway groups?

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Last Edit: 25 Apr 2021 22:37 by Zedj.

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 21 Apr 2021 11:19 #367194

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Be proud of your decision! Is there any member of the staff (many modern schools have more chareidi type staff) who you can get some chizuk from? 
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 21 Apr 2021 14:28 #367211

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No I wish
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 21 Apr 2021 20:07 #367236

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Wow you are amazing! You're like Avraham Avinu who did what he knew was right even though others weren't doing it
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 23 Apr 2021 11:30 #367331

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May Hashem repay you for your incredible sacrifice. It is normal that you may question your decision when the guys come back and brag about how great the trip was. Don't panic at that point. It's ok to feel a bit down and disappointed. At the same time, be proud that you did what you did. the feelings will go away quickly, the added kedusha, and the zchus will remain with you for life.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 23 Apr 2021 12:47 #367335

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...and may I add that while you may view us as no more than anonymous friends, WE will be the ones who will be "there for you" when you feel like a loser / unloyal friend - after missing the trip. Just post your feelings and the responses will help you. Really!

We've got your back tzadik!

IMG

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
jackz90dys@gmail.com

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 29 Apr 2021 01:58 #367619

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wowwww crazy feeling being number 1 on the 90 day chart board!
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 29 Apr 2021 02:37 #367623

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I think it says I'm number one, but ok 

We could share...

3 more days!!
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 30 Apr 2021 00:13 #367691

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We could share...

Haha deal
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 02 May 2021 01:52 #367741

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With the help of Hashem, all of the heilige chevra here at GYE, and my own hishtadlus I have reached 90 days!!! 

GYE was a complete game changer - I had a 17 day streak when I joined, followed by a week where I fell a lot, and now I'm back at 90! In other words, I had one time period where I fell since halfway through January and now its May. Very good stuff.

What worked for me was really simple. Just motivation and posting on the forum. Still don't have a filter and still need to get one but point is if you want it enough you can do it.

I was addicted to masturbation (seen inappropriate images but never literal porn but might as well have been) since I was about 13 so 5 years that I acted out constantly usually every night or two but at the same time I always believe I can do anything and once I realized the gravity of the problem I started to aim to stop.

So this was about a year ago and before I joined GYE all I did was just keep a tally of how many days I went without acting out and I usually reached around 3 or 4, with my highest being 10 days clean. The only thing that changed when I joined GYE was the forum. Thats pretty much the only difference. So all I did was just keep clean and talk a lot on the forum. 

In other words posting on the forum is an absolute game changer if you are struggling definitely post! No one will find out who you are you can be from literally anywhere. Even if someone does find out who you are (won't happen) they are in the struggle too and will understand.

Pure willpower might not work for everyone especially people who are more seriously addicted but just sharing what works for me. I simply wanted to be free enough that I did it. It wasn't worth living life that way. And nothing will magically make the desires go away so you have to actively try to stay clean. If your heart isn't in it maybe you will never be free. You have to really want it. 

It will be hard. But the longer you stay clean the easier it gets you just have to make it there to see the other side. 

Hoping to celebrate with all of you guys in your successes and wishing everyone much hatzlacha!

Eved Hashem
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better
Last Edit: 02 May 2021 01:59 by EvedHashem1836.

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 02 May 2021 06:04 #367772

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As I posted in the Lchaim thread...
A huge Mazal tov to you. This is a great accomplishment. Keep up the great work. You are an inspiration to all of us

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 02 May 2021 11:17 #367779

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Mazel tov!! Keep up the good work of inspiring others. It is a great chizuk for everyone to see that "it can be done" b'ezras Hashem.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 02 May 2021 16:14 #367796

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Amazing! Stay on your game and be a winner!
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