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Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :)
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TOPIC: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 3990 Views

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 05 May 2021 19:15 #368022

  • EvedHashem1836
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Thanks all for the outpouring of chizzuk! Really can't express how helpful it is to have all the GYE guys help me out in a time of need this place is incredible
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 09 May 2021 01:29 #368197

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97 days!!!

Officially past the few days of intense desire thanks to Hashem, the heilige chevra of GYE, and my own efforts. If you asked me a week ago if I thought I would be here at 97 as opposed to single digits I easily would have thought single digits but here I am today going strong

Only 3 more days until I can see three digits on my count - I personally find it very helpful to have a bunch of short goals within a long goal - right now my goal is 180 but a sub goal is to get to 100
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 09 May 2021 02:43 #368199

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EvedHashem1836 wrote on 09 May 2021 01:29:
97 days!!!

Officially past the few days of intense desire thanks to Hashem, the heilige chevra of GYE, and my own efforts. If you asked me a week ago if I thought I would be here at 97 as opposed to single digits I easily would have thought single digits but here I am today going strong

Only 3 more days until I can see three digits on my count - I personally find it very helpful to have a bunch of short goals within a long goal - right now my goal is 180 but a sub goal is to get to 100

Goal: 1836
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Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 12 May 2021 02:29 #368403

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100! Triple digits!!

Next goal: 1836 110 days
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 12 May 2021 03:43 #368410

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EvedHashem1836 wrote on 12 May 2021 02:29:
100! Triple digits!!

Next goal: 110 days

1836!
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
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• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

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Last Edit: 12 May 2021 03:50 by Markz.

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 12 May 2021 04:22 #368415

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Mazel tov!!!!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

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Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 12 May 2021 12:44 #368419

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Keep flying... upwards!

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 13 May 2021 22:00 #368556

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I just got triggered because I was doing an assignment about transgender people and the stuff the websites were saying were a bit much for me.

I would describe myself as most frequently falling to images or words that relate to some sort of crossdressing/transgender thing (I have less than 0 desire for that in all honesty but my body does) - anyone know where this might stem from and how I could overcome this by coming back to the source? Or is this just something I'm gonna have to deal with?
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 14 May 2021 01:16 #368564

  • Lou
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EvedHashem1836 wrote on 13 May 2021 22:00:
I just got triggered because I was doing an assignment about transgender people and the stuff the websites were saying were a bit much for me.

I would describe myself as most frequently falling to images or words that relate to some sort of crossdressing/transgender thing (I have less than 0 desire for that in all honesty but my body does) - anyone know where this might stem from and how I could overcome this by coming back to the source? Or is this just something I'm gonna have to deal with?

The real answer is obviously "I don't know" but from my experiences possibly since it is something so foreign to anything you would practically do (Is it?),that it is more of a fantasy.

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 14 May 2021 02:30 #368567

  • EvedHashem1836
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 (Is it?)

Yeah there is no real cheishek to actually do any of those things
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 14 May 2021 02:43 #368568

EvedHashem1836 wrote on 13 May 2021 22:00:
I just got triggered because I was doing an assignment about transgender people and the stuff the websites were saying were a bit much for me.

I would describe myself as most frequently falling to images or words that relate to some sort of crossdressing/transgender thing (I have less than 0 desire for that in all honesty but my body does) - anyone know where this might stem from and how I could overcome this by coming back to the source? Or is this just something I'm gonna have to deal with?

I wouldn't give it too much thought. Discussions of sexual orientation and gender identity one way or another relate to physical intimacy and/or the private area of the body. It brings up thoughts and feelings even if there is no actual desire. להבדיל, there is a prohibition in חז"ל to look at two animals who are being מזדווג and this is the case even though כלל ישראל are not חשוד on that איסור. My understanding is that even if it isn't desirable, the mere fact that it brings up those thoughts is something to avoid. So, in your case, those discussions bring up thoughts and maybe even urges. It doesn't have to be more than that.

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 14 May 2021 11:18 #368581

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How the urges manifest themselves is not really relevant. The extremely wide array of triggers different people have is incredible and sometimes even amusing. But as mentioned, it does not really make a difference. Usually one's past holds the explanation to why one leans towards specific urges and triggers. Besides knowing that fact - which helps one understand his drives and accept who he is, and feel less guilty and ashamed, it is usually a waste of time to analyze the past. One should not beat himself up because he has this or that urge. As far as recovery is concerned, it is all the same. A warped understanding of sexuality which can b'ezras Hashem be fixed.
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My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

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Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 14 May 2021 17:06 #368596

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Been having lots and lots of desires recently - unfortunately also looked at some images on purpose that I shouldn't have

Haven't let out zera so thats good

Told myself I'm just going to make it to shavuos thats how I didn't act out

after shavuos hopefully I'll have the strength to keep going but ill worry about that when it comes around
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 14 May 2021 21:12 #368601

  • Grant400
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EvedHashem1836 wrote on 14 May 2021 17:06:
Been having lots and lots of desires recently - unfortunately also looked at some images on purpose that I shouldn't have

Haven't let out zera so thats good

Told myself I'm just going to make it to shavuos thats how I didn't act out

after shavuos hopefully I'll have the strength to keep going but ill worry about that when it comes around

Uh oh. I've been there my friend. Been there and....unfortunately done that. It can keep spiraling in small steps. Unless you shake yourself to the bones. Find something to completely reaffirm your commitment, make yourself FEEL you don't want it. Live it. Breathe it. 

Everyone has their own way. Read your old posts. Listen to a specific shiur, etc. The point is once our grip gets shaky, if we continue whiteknuckling...eventually we slip off.

Re: Aiming to be better. Introducing myself :) 14 May 2021 23:24 #368603

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Probably best to fix the loophole that is allowing you to look at those photos.

The desire is always greater than the result that we fantasize about. 

You know at the end of the da it ain't worth it.

Wishing you much success!

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

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