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TOPIC: Make it to Yeshiva 85774 Views

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 04 Sep 2020 00:48 #354583

  • Grant400
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Amazingly inspiring! Thank you for sharing that.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 04 Sep 2020 05:23 #354588

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Dave M wrote on 04 Sep 2020 00:37:
Wow.  Have you ever shared this with anyone?  Very mature outlook.

Nope not at all.
It just popped up on my phone today so thought I’d share it with the chevra

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 04 Sep 2020 10:06 #354594

YeshivaGuy wrote on 03 Sep 2020 23:58:
Here’s a letter I just found that I wrote to myself 3 years ago (it’s written as my Neshama writing to me)- September 10 2017:

Dearest (name withheld),

I must tell you, it's been a long journey. Together we connected with HaShem against all odds at a young age. Together we conquered insurmountable nisyonos and challenges. We've touched countless lives and truly formed a close relationship with HaShem.

However, as you know, it hasn't always been easy for us. We've done a lot of aveiros which have distanced us from HaShem. We've given into meaningless vanities-harming much that we've accomplished all these years. And most importantly, this has led to barriers between us and Avinu Shebashamayim.

It's very painful for me to recollect all the pain I've endured. I'm aware that over time the guf becomes immune to an extent, to all the hester panim, darkness, that's been caused. But you should know, I still feel pain. And right now I'm in a lot of pain. You see, I stem from the highest place imaginable, under the kisei hakavod, so I'm not used to such horrible things.

So, I know right now, due to your sins, you don't really feel your, let alone my, pain. But you should know that you still have a soul that has feeling. You should know that your neshama still cries out to HaShem Yisborach even though you can't hear it.

So please don't think you've lost everything. Of course, tremendous damage has been done, but you should know that HaShem still wants you.
I know, it's hard to believe. But hear me out. We could both agree that your soul is greatly pained even though you currently don't feel it. You understand that you can't feel your souls pain due to the barriers you've made between your body and neshama.

Why, then, is it so hard for you to realize that HaShem remains your loving, adoring father standing behind the barriers you've put up? Do you doubt the patience of HaShem? Do you doubt the power of teshuva?

I know, it's already Elul, and you feel you've betrayed HaShem at this pivotal time. But just think about it. Imagine a wife upsets her husband a week before their anniversary. Certainly the husband would readily forgive his wife EXACTLY BECAUSE ITS RIGHT NEAR THEIR ANNIVERSARY! Because this is a time when his love for his wife almost overshadows all harm she may cause. From the wife's point of view, of course, because her love for her husband is heightened at this time, will feel she is betraying her spouse all the more. Nonetheless, the husbands love overshadows all her wrongdoings.

The same is here. You, (name withheld), truly love HaShem Yisborach. So when you "betray" HIM with aveiros you feel all the more bad at this time of Ani Ledodi vDodi Li. But, you need to understand, that particularly at this time, HaShem views you with extra "eyes" of love. So one can almost say that HaShems all-encompassing love for you, overshadows your wrongdoings. Of course, what you've done is utterly horrible. But you need to understand that HaShem doesn't want these barriers separating you two anymore. HaShem is on HIS throne of mercy, and is calling you to make up. So I know it doesn't feel this way. I know you feel utterly helpless and unwanted by HaShem. But now your nisayon is to have Emuna in the "arm" of HaShem to pull you out of this predicament though you've fallen so many times.

So in summary, it truly has been my greatest honor to be your Neshama. And I greatly anticipate growing more in the future. Please just do me, Klall Yisroel, and all of existence a favor.

Please don't give up. You are one of the last worriers of HaShem at this time. And you have no idea how prized you are in Shamayim. I know all you see now is your faults. But trust me, you are really big. You have the koach to overturn the entire world. That's why the yetzer works tirelessly so hard to destroy you.

So hold on tight and stay strong.

Evermore yours,

Your Neshama


I've done things like this you know. Write letters to myself. I'm not sure why, but yours has literally brought tears to my eyes. Like, you put your heart and soul (pardon the pun) into writing that letter. Thank you so much.

Hold on a sec, lemme grab a tissue...

יהי רצון שהדברים לתועלת

Today I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can do what others can't.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.
We all make choices in life, but in the end, our choices make us.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 06 Sep 2020 20:22 #354667

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Hey guys,
Sorry for letting u all down with the bad news..
I was just nichshal and masterbated (2min ago).
I was clean for 27 days...
My stomach was hurting a lot so I’ve been in bed the last few hours instead of Seder, so more susceptible....

Anyway, I know that growth isn’t measured by streaks but rather minute by minute.
So I’m carrying on.

Let this moment mark my Inception.

Thank you all

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 06 Sep 2020 22:39 #354672

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Hey Yeshiva Guy! You really serve as an inspiration. You honesty and self awareness are a blast of fresh air.

I too fell and I keep trying to get up. Yes I have excuses and reasons why I fell and continue to fall, but deep down I know that I could've and should've done better. I'm not where I used to be. I'm a GYE member and we have more fight, courage and cunning than we used to have. I'm disappointed in myself but I'm trying to use this as a learning experience. It's hard to get back up. I'm not struggling with the notion of not acting out. No, that sounds delicious. What's bothering me is that I feel horrible. I feel like I'm a traitor. Most of all I shocked myself after feeling bulletproof with a 53 day streak. 

So I'm proposing that we start over together. Let's stop looking backwards and only march ahead. We know which one is the real us. We should be proud of what we accomplished and only be focused on producing better results. 

 I ask you to join me in turning over a brand new leaf with more wisdom and expertise. 

.                          Your friend,
                                       Grant 

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 07 Sep 2020 00:57 #354677

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YeshivaGuy wrote on 06 Sep 2020 20:22:
Hey guys,
Sorry for letting u all down with the bad news..
I was just nichshal and masterbated (2min ago).
I was clean for 27 days...
My stomach was hurting a lot so I’ve been in bed the last few hours instead of Seder, so more susceptible....

Anyway, I know that growth isn’t measured by streaks but rather minute by minute.
So I’m carrying on.

Let this moment mark my Inception.

Thank you all

27 is gematria "zach" as in "shemen zayis zach".  27 pure days that you should be very proud of. Like the mountain climber who fell in a ditch, get up, shake off the dust and enjoy the view. And then just keep climbing..... 
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 07 Sep 2020 06:29 #354690

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YeshivaGuy wrote on 06 Sep 2020 20:22:
Hey guys,
Sorry for letting u all down with the bad news..
I was just nichshal and masterbated (2min ago).

You did well Keep it up and get back in there. You can't let us down (unless you leave us), we are with you through thick and thin. 

I was clean for 27 days...


It's rough ending a streak like that, it hurts, falls hurt and it sucks, I am sorry for you, just know that 27 days is a real accomplishment, iy'h many more.

Anyway, I know that growth isn’t measured by streaks but rather minute by minute.
So I’m carrying on.


Why not "growth is measured by growth" meaning are you in a better place now than you were before? If the answer is yes then that is growth.

If the answer is no, i.e. you find yourself repeatedly in the same situations time and again without any sign of change, then it is time to reevaluate your approach (in hebrew this is called a cheshbon hanefesh), what changes need to be made for me to see changes in my struggle.

Get back in there, that's the main thing, don't give in, and never give up.

All the best,
Wilnevergiveup
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 07 Sep 2020 19:03 #354708

I'm with everyone here. Don't let it get you down. 27 days is impressive. But as you said, even the minutes count. You hold off for a minute - it matters. You get up a minute sooner than you would have - it matters. And each of those minutes earns you eternity of closeness to Hashem Yisbarach. 

So they're, like, they're totally worth it.

יהי רצון שהדברים לתועלת

Today I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can do what others can't.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.
We all make choices in life, but in the end, our choices make us.
Last Edit: 07 Sep 2020 19:04 by Im Tevakshena Kakasef.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 08 Sep 2020 01:15 #354726

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@YeshuvaGuy: How's it going? How'd you do today?

I'm counting on you as my wingman for our meteoric rise from the depths to extreme heights. I hope you ain't scared of heights, cause we gonna fly brother.

                                  Grant 

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 08 Sep 2020 03:21 #354728

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Grant400 wrote on 08 Sep 2020 01:15:
@YeshuvaGuy: How's it going? How'd you do today?

I'm counting on you as my wingman for our meteoric rise from the depths to extreme heights. I hope you ain't scared of heights, cause we gonna fly brother.

                                  Grant 

Hey, thanks so much for asking!

Its funny cuz I actually am pretty scared of heights...
But I’ll make an exception  
Ya we’re in this together. Today was great BH
Usualy don’t have any probs for the first few days after a fall anyway..

I made a deal with someone to not cause any “stimulation” at all on the erva. Not just zera levatala, but totally nothing, for 30 days.
Its def gonna be hard, but it’s the right move.

Hope ur doing well and staying strong!!

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 08 Sep 2020 03:26 #354729

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Here’s a question,
Does anyone know if I can use the “streak bar” for masterbating? Or just for pornography?
Also, how do I set it up?
I think it would be helpful 
Thanks

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 08 Sep 2020 03:38 #354731

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YeshivaGuy wrote on 08 Sep 2020 03:26:
Here’s a question,
Does anyone know if I can use the “streak bar” for masterbating? Or just for pornography?
Also, how do I set it up?
I think it would be helpful 
Thanks

Some go to the bar for one and some for the other. 
Machlokes haposkim...
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Re: Make it to Yeshiva 08 Sep 2020 03:42 #354732

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Markz wrote on 08 Sep 2020 03:38:

YeshivaGuy wrote on 08 Sep 2020 03:26:
Here’s a question,
Does anyone know if I can use the “streak bar” for masterbating? Or just for pornography?
Also, how do I set it up?
I think it would be helpful 
Thanks

Some go to the bar for one and some for the other. 
Machlokes haposkim...

Thanks, and how do I set it up?

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 08 Sep 2020 04:13 #354734

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Karl was taking about a different bar - good thing you have no idea. Keep it that way :-)
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Re: Make it to Yeshiva 08 Sep 2020 04:23 #354735

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Markz wrote on 08 Sep 2020 04:13:
Karl was taking about a different bar - good thing you have no idea. Keep it that way :-)

Karl? I guess that’s ur full name Karl Marx...

Oh I chap the “bar” ah Shkoyach.
Tgough I still don’t chap pshat in the joke...
Anyway asking for pshat in jokes ruins them anyways
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