Shmuel wrote on 03 Jul 2022 21:19:
5Uu80*cdwB#^ wrote on 03 Jul 2022 20:12:
I have had success in using this method.
First off, though, I don't have to use it often, because I guard my eyes very carefully. If somehow I nevertheless see something I shouldn't, I try to simply move on and don't look back. If it is too strong to move on from, I try to move on again. If I still can't, I will use this technique. It has certainly helped me in the past.
My struggles with lust are partially rooted in the fantasy to begin with. So for me its just telling myself that the fakeness is actually fake which does nothing for me.
Secondly, my lust exists in my head (almost) as much as it does in my eyes. So even though i place a strong emphasis on "guarding my eyes" i still lust plenty and the gimmicks and mind tricks dont work...
Just sharing my experience
I hear you. For years for me it was all in the mind, too, and certainly so after I began guarding my eyes carefully.
I don't think that reflecting on the fact that fantasies are fake is a gimmick though. In any case, in terms of that which goes on the mind, I have experienced that the best tool is not thinking about how it's fake though, but rather learning to just move on. A lustful thought comes? Don't engage it. Don't reject it. Don't feel sad or happy. Good or bad. Don't check to make sure it's gone or still there in 5 and 10 minutes. Make it as inconsequential as all of the other millions of thoughts that cross our mind and our brain filters without any second thoughts by simply moving on. Nope, it's not easy at first. But, in my experience, lust in the mind stick around because we keep thinking about it. We have to decide to simply move on. Wow, a thought of lust! Okay, moving on with my day....
This paragraph contains the gist of how I was able to break free after years of lusting in my mind. I learned to simply move on and not react to or engage lustful thoughts, not to feel emotions about them, and not to check back on them. We're human! We'll have thoughts. Our job is to just move on.