Hi everyone! I've been a fan of gye for a long time ,I've decided to join the crew and wake up from my slumber which has been induced on me and us by the decadent society around us. I'm here to give and get chizuk in a Torah sourced way. A Talmid Chacham advised me personaly not to do the 12 steps(thats his personal advice to ME,whoever was advised to use it by Daas Torah ,KOL HAKAVOD!) B"H I've had a streak of clean days, and I feel  joining such  a  chashuva chabura will help out. Hatzlacha to all!    
 Sleepy   .

Welcome! You should have much hatzlacha in your journey to recovery. 

Welcome.
Take it day by day. Hour by hour if needed.

Thank you for such a nice welcome d.m and c.c.,i hope you both much hatzlacha! something in the kinos yesterday woke sleepy up a little,the story of the son and daughter of the Cohen   Gadol who were both beautiful of appearance and the owner of the son and the owner of the daughter made a deal and said  ,"let our slaves marry each other and the offspring will be even more beautiful and we will divide the offspring"(not knowing they were siblings). so the brother and sister were put in a  darkened room ,and the son of the C"G said how can i who comes from Aharon Hacohen lower myself and live with a slave?!and the same thought entered the daughters mind,when it became light in the room at sunrise they recognized each other and wept until their Neshamos left them.
Wow! if we only had that Jewish Ga'ava and say to ourselves ,"how can we , children of Avrahom,Yitzchok and Ya'akov  lower ourselves and look at such things on the street or elsewhere!
Hatzlacha!

Welcome to the club and Hazlacha in all

Hi Sleepy, Welcome aboard!  

That excerpt/message from the kinnos is truly inspiring - and baffling.  I'll explain what I mean:  In the past, whenever I came across gemaras/mussar/etc that would inspire me in these areas, I would learn them again and again, make mental notes, write them down, and truly feel that remembering them at a time of temptation would help keep me from falling. 

And they didn't.

It bothered me and baffled me - why not?!  I really was inspired!  I thought I just had to try harder the next time.  Eventually, I came to realize an important point (which doesn't have to contradict the above, but rather could suplement it.):  I need to have 'emotional sobriety' as a prerequisite to sexual sobriety - when I'm in a bad/upset/etc mood, I get a certain attitude that 'who cares', 'ah to hell with it', etc.  and I just throw in the towel because life sucks.  When I'm in that mindset, nothing's going to help me.  When I'm on healthier ground, I have hope.
Don't know if you relate.  Either way, much hatzlocha! 

great point,id like to elaborate on a reply but im rushing to an appointment ,ttyl. 

strive613 wrote on 14 Aug 2019 11:49:

what a pity , i just wrote a whole reply to your post and touched a wire and it got erased,i think it took me a half an hour to write,i think it really addressed your post properly. maybe later, i have no complaints Hashem knows  why He did it, i think my intentions were pure, could be it was something that would be mechazek  someone  and there was a maase soton ,maybe ill get a chance later. hatzlacha!

hi strive613 ,you brought up a very good point. i just wanted to say that  this that i posted about the brother and sister was not to be used as a tool to stop someone in their tracks when they have that feeling to fall ,i dont know what can help at such a moment, i dont know if anyone here does really,( of course taphsic and calling a sponser are great ideas, ) not saying its not possible , im sure all of us have had successes in that at one time or another . what i just wanted to say  to share was  a feeling  of admiration about two yidden , after something comparable to a holocaust has happened, their life hanging in the balance without knowing what morning will bring,when faced with a temptation ,not knowing who the other person was ,still remembered who they were .
maybe that wont stop us when we're triggered , but maybe it could inspire us to think how important it is not to get to that point , look what a Holy people  we are ,i know when im bored that leads to falls ,so what can i do when i  feel ok inside,that will push off boredom, how about finishing a mesechta, or  a sefer that speaks to me,even making a goal of reading 200 archived chizuk  emails(what chizuk is in them! i think i did 1-400,one time,not in one sitting of course )and if all that comes out from this is that the fall is pushed off a little bit because of this post, i have no regrets in posting.Rav Mattisyahu Soloman Shlita said that NOT ONLY not sinning receives reward, but even pushing off the sin a few seconds is ALSO a great thing! the Chofetz Chaim ZTL said that even if a person gives  a Krechtz/an oy! that makes a big difference.of course we  should aim for greater things than a  few seconds of postponement or a krechtz, but lets not belittle them either.(im not saying that you were belittling anything)
​anyway i hope i addressed your post properly. ,hatzlacha!
sleepy 

im sorry that  it takes me so long to reply, i dont own my own pc and i have to go to pc's that are used by the public and sometimes there are long lines
sleepy ,

Nice, thanks for clarifying!

wow! i cant believe it,it really worked! i was on the train this morning and there was eye candy(bad for my health) and i was having a hard time not to peek, and i thought to myself sleepy,Hashem gives everyone what they  need and whats good for them ,if this was really good for you  , Hashem would give you such a pleasure, the fact that Hashem forbids it is because Hashem knows  how bad it is for you, trust Hashem,have Bitachon that Hashem is taking care of you by not allowing it, dont be smarter than Hashem and do something stupid and look! as i was thinking this i felt it easier to control and  succeeded .. BH! maybe if i lived more with Bitachon in Hashem i will have success in Kedusha inyanim!just wanted to share ,hatzlacha!

i was just by the q and a section and saw the Q&A titled :I can't stop looking at girls!, i think the question was answered very well ! thanks gye!

hi, just curios, i see here on posts how people say about themselves," im not bad , im sick..."is there anything wrong with me if i think about myself that im bad, but i want to do Teshuva?(and therefore im really good now )

yay, im a Senior Boarder, do i get mta benefits now?