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On board at last
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TOPIC: On board at last 4590 Views

Re: On board at last 24 Jan 2012 22:59 #131631

  • gibbor120
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One day at a time, one TV at a time .  Baruch Hashem!
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Re: On board at last 30 Jan 2012 21:05 #132027

  • chaimyakov
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Thanks Gibbor. 

An aside:
Interesting to me, on the home page of the forum it lists the numbers of people on the sight.  Visitors obviously are either not registered or are viewing offline, but the rest of us are listed as "users".  In NA(Narcotics Anonymous), "user" has a negative connotation, and i think it apropos that term includes me.  I am a user of p&m, in recovery B'chasdei Hashem. 
Thanks Guard for the reminder.
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov
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Re: On board at last 03 Feb 2012 18:21 #132364

  • chaimyakov
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My my how the yh tries so hard to entice me.  i go to a local sight for weather and they also have local headlines.  One of the headlines this morning had the subtitle(for those with addict eyes)"a great story for you to fall about".  i so wanted to read of the debauchery and wallow in the mud, but what can i do.  i just davened and ran away. 
Related to this i have noticed a change in me.  In the past when i heard of a criminal act worthy of SA, i would wish them the greatest amount of suffering and then some("to infinity and beyond").  Now, i have pity on the accused criminal.  If only they had found help before this and B'chasdei Hashem i got help before i came to something like this.  i think the change may be because i no longer have this internal loathing of my actions(i don't need to be destroyed) so i can look past their actions and see the person and see their suffering.  Or, it may be because i have increased my level of compassion for others through the use of this site and SA meetings.  Either way, i am no psychologist so what do i care.
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov
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Re: On board at last 16 Feb 2012 21:19 #133184

  • chaimyakov
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Reporting for Duty. 
B'chasdei Hashem Yisborach, tremendous thanks to Guard and all of you 108 days clean.
How?, you might ask.
i have been keeping busy with all the things that have gotten me to today.
GYE handbook, attitude section, Big Book, White Book, 12 & 12, SA meetings and phone calls.  i still don't have a sponsor but that will happen soon I'YH.  i am looking at other meeting times and locations to fit into my schedule better and take less time away from family.  i also joined Dov's phone group but that isn't working so well with me time wise.  One day at a time.
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov
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Re: On board at last 16 Feb 2012 21:25 #133188

  • gibbor120
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FANTASTIC!  KOT!
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Re: On board at last 16 Feb 2012 23:27 #133222

  • obormottel
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now that's honest reporting! cnn has got nothing on you!
Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.
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Re: On board at last 16 Feb 2012 23:35 #133226

  • have2changeNOW
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Chaimyakov.  thanks for sharing that - inspirational to keep working my schedule and trying more Recovery hishtadlus.  I have done a lot, but not enough live people, me thinks.
and more reading is a must,  And really 'working'  the 12 steps. . . .    need to KOT.

all the best- be matzliach

have2changeNOW
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Re: On board at last 17 Feb 2012 15:42 #133264

  • AlexEliezer
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Chaimyakov,
With all your well-directed hishtadlus, I have no doubt you will continue to see success in remaining truly sober.  I wish everyone here would read your post from yesterday and do half of what you're doing.
Have a wonderful Shabbos Kodesh!
Alex
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Re: On board at last 14 Mar 2012 18:43 #134688

  • chaimyakov
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Friends,
i found my self slipping last week in the same way on several days all heading for trouble.  i davened about it, made a call and it kept resurfacing.  i reached into our bag of GYE tricks and pulled out a TaPHSiC and fixed that problem.
"If i purposely search/view p*&^ without first either A)calling My Rav, a GYE friend or an SA friend or reading 10 minutes in Big Book, White Book, GYE Handbook, 12 & 12 etc. or C) going to Beis Medrash and learning for 15 minutes then i will sell 1 ____ from my collection and give all proceeds to GYE(several hundred to a couple of thousand Dollars).  If i do the above first or i forget that i made this Shvua than i will only be obligated to give $50 to GYE.  This Shvua will expire in seven days and needs to be renewed at that time."  This was five days ago and B'chasdei Hashem the problem went in search of easier prey.  i set a reminder in my phone for the renewal. 

Funny thing happened the other day.  GYE pops up on my phone as a reminder at predetermined strategic points throughout my day.  My phone was on the table and i left the room.  After a few minutes i returned and my wife asked "What does GYE stand for?"  Without missing a beat i told her it stands for Guard Your Eyes, she said "ok".  One day i hope to fill her in on how significant GYE really is to me/us and what it has helped me to accomplish(nothing of course because i am powerless over lust, but you know what i mean). 
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov
Last Edit: 20 Mar 2012 13:48 by .

Re: On board at last 15 Mar 2012 15:09 #134747

  • AlexEliezer
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Good stuff CY. Thanks for sharing.
Always refreshing to hear from someone who's willing to do whatever it takes.
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Re: On board at last 18 Mar 2012 03:59 #134866

  • obormottel
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A gute woch!
Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.
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Re: On board at last 29 Mar 2012 13:44 #135330

  • chaimyakov
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UGGGH!
i was in a place and they had the radio on.  Someone called the show and said the following
"Congratulations to *&(*&^&^(a celebrity who died from on OD some time back) on 8 Months Sober" there was a lot of uncontrollable laughter on the radio afterwards.  i almost started to cry and thought "Will i also have to be dead before anyone can wish me the same?"
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov
Last Edit: 02 Apr 2012 13:09 by .

Re: On board at last 29 Mar 2012 15:09 #135334

  • AlexEliezer
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Congratulations!

  on committing to, getting and staying sober.
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Re: On board at last 04 Apr 2012 13:14 #135540

  • chaimyakov
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Reality Punch in the Face!

The other night during check in at my SA meeting a fellow tells us he fell a few days before.  i felt bad for him until i heard he had 2 1/2 years sober by SA definition and then i felt awful.  As with other stories shared over many meetings, the main problem is taking sips of lust,  gazing at the wrong images, watching "safe" TV or movies and getting pushed or shoved beyond the point of no-return. 

Omer Alexeliezer "Bullet proof Shmiras Einayim is the essential key to recovery"

Do i want to control lust or do i want to avoid it?  For the last 30 years i worked on controlling it and have a great record of failure.  Now for the last 5 months i have been working on avoiding it and B'chasdei HASHEM Yisborach, these have truly been the best 5 months of my life so far.
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov
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Re: On board at last 04 Apr 2012 15:10 #135543

  • Eye.nonymous
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chaimyakov wrote on 30 Nov 2011 19:49:

i stood up and told the yh that i was tired of him ruining my life that he was content to just sit back and wait for me to fall into his traps again.  Now, of course the last few days have been excruciating.  i have confidence in the Ribbono Shel Olam that HIS will, will be done and that keeps me in the struggle.



Even better--stop fighting!  Hand the struggle over to the Ribbono Shel Olam.

I have found that He can do a lot more than I can.

Welcome to the forum, and keep on posting.

Hatzlacha,

--Elyah





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