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Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

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TOPIC: On board at last 4504 Views

On board at last 28 Nov 2011 21:20 #127020

  • chaimyakov
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chaimyakov here. 
After 30+ years of addiction I have finally found help.  I look forward to growing with all of you.
Chazak V'Ematz
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Re: On board at last 28 Nov 2011 22:01 #127022

  • gibbor120
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WELCOME!  You are in the right place.  Keep posting and let us know what is going on.  We're all in this together.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…


Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
www.GuardYourEyes.org
GYE E-Mail Helpline: gye.help@gmail.com
GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100
Help us help others: Donate Here
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Re: On board at last 29 Nov 2011 10:41 #127069

  • hubabuba
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welcome brother! you're definitely in the best place now. Just keep getting chizuk here, read the handbooks and grow.
Love,

KH
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Re: On board at last 29 Nov 2011 11:38 #127074

  • heuni memass
Welcome brother. Your in a good place but remember that on its own is not a fix. Read the handbooks.
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Re: On board at last 29 Nov 2011 11:53 #127075

  • geshertzarmeod
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Welcome! Post away! We are here for you!
ישראל אע"פ שחטא ישראל הוא
If you're connected above, you won't fall down below - Reb Shlomo
ולבי חלל בקרבי
לולא האמנתי לראות בטוב ה' בארץ חיים
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Re: On board at last 29 Nov 2011 15:13 #127094

  • ZemirosShabbos
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Hi and welcome,
stick around and read up, you'll be happy you did.
wishing you much hatzlocha
zs
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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Re: On board at last 29 Nov 2011 15:14 #127095

  • chaimyakov
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I am working through the handbook right now.  I am waiting for the filter guy to get back to me with my K9 info to protect my computer.  The daily chizuk e-mails have been tremendously helpful as well as reading past e-mails and blog posts.  I have a Rabbi locally who has worked with addicts for years and he will be my live help and local accountability link.  I have not had to suffer with terrible consequences(outside of my own mind) from this addiction and I don't want to.  When and how do you tell your spouse if ever?
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Re: On board at last 29 Nov 2011 15:23 #127099

  • gibbor120
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Take a look at this FAQ www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ25.asp .
The general approach seems to be, not to tell until you have some sobriety under your belt.  Also, to have a rav or therapist that you both trust to help you through that difficult stage.
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Re: On board at last 29 Nov 2011 19:08 #127115

  • AlexEliezer
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Welcome Chaimyakov!
I also put in 30 years before I found this website.
B"H I'm sober now over 2-1/2 years.  I still haven't told my wife.
Being an addict since early teenhood, and stopping cold turkey, I did have major withdrawal.  The Y"H put up a death struggle.  B"H it's easier now.
Wishing you much hatzlacha!
Alex
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Re: On board at last 29 Nov 2011 19:10 #127116

  • gibbor120
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I PMed guard and he pointed me to this thread.

www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=938.0
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Re: On board at last 30 Nov 2011 06:18 #127159

  • geshertzarmeod
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Obviously every situation is different. I too am over 30 years fighting this and just recently told me wife. Her only tayna was why didnt I say something sooner? It would have helped her understand certain things that were happening with my attitude and general avodas Hashem. It would have avoided alot of her resentment toward my laziness etc... But besides that she was totally supportive and understanding. Granted porn isnt an issue for me, which admittedly she said might have made it more difficult to accept. All Im saying is that often the YH makes us think that we have to suffer in silence and thats part of his ploy to keep us under his control. He maske such a big deal out of telling the spouse, as if its impossible, and then once it was done I thought what was the big deal?
ישראל אע"פ שחטא ישראל הוא
If you're connected above, you won't fall down below - Reb Shlomo
ולבי חלל בקרבי
לולא האמנתי לראות בטוב ה' בארץ חיים
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Re: On board at last 30 Nov 2011 15:28 #127183

  • gibbor120
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Disclaimer:  Results not typical, actual results may vary, ask you doctor before starting,  may cause nausea, sleeplessness, headache,  high blood pressure, and a strange craving for Woodford and Cholint.
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Re: On board at last 30 Nov 2011 17:27 #127219

  • chaimyakov
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gibbor120 wrote on 29 Nov 2011 19:10:

I PMed guard and he pointed me to this thread.

www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=938.0


I can't access this, it says I am not authorized or some mishugas like that.
Help
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Re: On board at last 30 Nov 2011 17:35 #127221

  • AlexEliezer
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PM Guard and ask for access to the Married Forum
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Re: On board at last 30 Nov 2011 19:49 #127256

  • chaimyakov
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Day 30 although it is only officially two days on the forum.  It is comedic, in the classical sense, that until i stood up and told the yh that i was tired of him ruining my life that he was content to just sit back and wait for me to fall into his traps again.  Now, of course the last few days have been excruciating.  i have confidence in the Ribbono Shel Olam that HIS will, will be done and that keeps me in the struggle.  In the past i always thought "this will be the month that i will stay clean" (i don't remember when if ever i had a clean month) now i think this will be the month that HIS will will be done.  i am humbled by the tragedies that so many have suffered along their paths.  So far, B'H, my tragedies have all been internal and below the surface with my family. 
chaimyakov
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